Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

Pixie5740

I'd also add that no matter what the reason for doing it is, you should NEVER share your online banking passwords and card PIN with anyone.

financialdisease

Yes he has said he will give me full control of his finances


The availability of more debt in the future is s MAJOR worry of mine, especially as hus crediting rating is still showing as *fair*

They said he might struggle to get creditors to agree to a dmp or freeze charges and interest because he has not defaulted in any way or shown that he can not make the payments.

I called CAB to speak about *my* position in all of this they have said that I will have no liability for his debts as for the mortgage I would have to buy him giving him a share of the equity which may need to be negotiated with the creditors

financialdisease

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I'd also add that no matter what the reason for doing it is, you should NEVER share your online banking passwords and card PIN with anyone.

our options would to have me added as a third party representative to his account therefore giving me access to it but with no powers to borrow or close etc. The other option his to have his salary paid into an account in my name where his share of the bills and debt repayments would come out then I could give him what's left over. Maybe open a saving account in his name with a basic cashline card so he doesn't have the ability to use it online or I machines, I wonder if he would be willing to close down his current account?

Pixie5740

I only mention it as I used to work for a bank's online banking helpdesk many moons ago and every day I had people phoning up trying to access someone else's account which resulted in the online access being suspended.

The reason being that it's a breach of the T&C of signing up to online banking, and having a chip & PIN, to share those details with anyone. So if you do get those details just don't tell the bank you have them during a recorded call

Miss_Poohs

You've done well today FD - in taking those steps, it's always stressful stepping into the unknown.
He has to prove to you now he worthy of your support x

eyeopener2

It will be interesting to hear aboput his reaction to not having £100 a week to blow on cakes and beer and newspapers (4) other stuff. Nevermind the gambling!

He will have a lot of peer pressue (like a teenager in a way) from his mates when he stops going to the pub every night. You and he have to be stong on this. Breaking the routine is key in many addictions whether its spending, alcohol, gambling o all three. Break the chain s and you free.

Give him £10 and see what he can do with it. I managed on less, so can he.

I hope things turn round for you now. You have had so much deal with in a very short space of time and this is just the start.

Good luck.

eyeopener2

financialdisease wrote: »

I wonder if he would be willing to close down his current account?

I wonder? If? Willing?

You just tell him that is what is going to happen. Open a basic account and make arrangements to pay back the ovedraft that he no doubt has.

Its not about him being willing anymore, its about taking real, cold, hard decisions to change behaviour.

JustAboutThere

eyeopener2 wrote: »

I wonder? If? Willing?

You just tell him that is what is going to happen. Open a basic account and make arrangements to pay back the ovedraft that he no doubt has.

Its not about him being willing anymore, its about taking real, cold, hard decisions to change behaviour.

Its a case of actions having consequences. He doesn't have to like it, but he does have to face up to it.

asparagus1968

hope it went well FD.

financialdisease

So he phoned step change, he left the room but I stood outside when I asked why he said it was because looking at what he had done to me would mame him cry and be didn't want to cry on the phone I assured him thats its okay and completely normal to cry in his situation. I listened to everything he said he was getting quite muddled and stuff but I guess it was nerves and not having the figures in front of bim. They took all the information and said someone would call him back to arrange a phone interview probably Tuesday:o aaghhhhh I still don't think I can relax because I don't feel any further on.

He told them about the car and needing one or he will loose his job they asked how he has kept his job witheone he has managed to fob of his manager but no one above ber position knows. They said it can be taken in consideration on talking a bit more it turns out his wage slip shows 2 separate payments one for the car allowance and one for a salary but taxed and paid in as luml sum, will this help with him being allowed to take on the lease of a car? Its also in his terms and conditions of contract that he must have a car.

I said I want him to close his current account and only have a basic or saving account but he didn't seem very keen I will keep pushing for it. He has a £1k overdraft which he doesn't seem to understand is also a debt.


I completely forgot we took a £10k further advance for house renovations back in 2011ish it has £8k left on it added to the original mortgage outstanding balance of £26iah makes up part of our overall mortgage figure of £35500 should this be declared as a debt in his name although its part of the mortgage payment that I make? The cash he sends me each month should that be broken down to show what ita used for or is a lump sum justifiable
At least we are a little bit further on