Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

eyeopener2

Phew, things have moved on apace in the last 24 hours. Now is the time to protect yourself and family, work things through with your OH but make sure your back is covered.

financialdisease

We eventually hot round to speaking about it albeit quite briefly.

It started off as bad money management, dh had a Sunday job that used to pay around £100 a week on top of his normal wage that was his splash out cash. The work dried up and u guess he couldn't rein his spending in. He thinks that the gambling started almost 2 years ago but spiked at its worst between August and December last year spending £5k on gambling machines in bookies. I asked him to describe how it felt to play the machines, when he lost and when he won, what made him put more and more money in even though he was loosing? He said at first it was a desperation to win back what he had lost which turned to hating himself for playing them and putting more money in without caring if he lost ir not like some sort if self punishment

I phoned the mortgage team they transferred me to the transfer of equity department to start the process of taking him off the mortgage. I will need to be evaluated for affordability I am really wishing I can get it on my own wage ♥ I don't have any debts, cards or overdrafts, a little bit of savings and always have money left before pay day. I manage the mortgage and bills from my salary bank account just now without any input from him I hope this is enough for them to see I can afford it.

financialdisease

The money he transfer me goes into a different account.

He has an appointment with the insolvency person tomorrow after work I won't be there because I have the kids and a dentist appointment. He isn't paying for the appointment its someone he knows through work. Sad as it is he sometime us the person to force people into that position! He must feel really really shiiit now knowing how it feels.

He said he never thought of the implications on us ir loosing our home because it was credit cards that could always be paid back. Obviously that's not how it worked out

Cottage_Economy

Protect yourself. Protect your children.

They have an irresponsible reckless father who will financially ruin you all before sacking up and taking responsibility for what he has done.

Never doubt that you can bring your kids up better alone.

By the way, what you are proposing to do with the mortgage may be classed as asset disposal, and your husband's creditors will take a dim view.

An insolvency practitioner would work for the creditors, not your husband, so if your husband thinks he will have a 'friend' in one who will help him hide from creditors he can think again. They may be nicey nicey when trying to get your husband's business but that will end once he signs on the dotted line.

Right now your husband has a share in the equity of your house - an insolvency practitioner will go through his financial transactions with a fine tooth comb, and if they thinks your husband has been hiding or disposing of assets prior to any insolvency proceedings they can apply to the courts to have the sale/transfer reversed.

Your husband has nowhere to hide.

financialdisease

Its definitely not about hiding assets its about protecting me and d the kids, he has nk say in this I am telling him I don't trust with our future what is to stop him from borrowing against the house in the future if I don't force this on him. Every payment for the past 13 years has come out of my sole account from my salary cant I use that to show he has nothing to gain from the house

He just wont listen to me or any links I have forwarded him regarding debt advice he clearly thinks these people knows better, im starting to wonder if mixing with these people have had an influence on his spending keeping up with the jones type thing?

I have no fear of life without him other than the heartbreak the kids will experience, I can't imagine him hanging around to be father of the year. Regardless of his hands off parenting style they adore him, I won't go as far aa saying I do but like I said before I thought he was my forever I'm crying typing this

-taff

It's just rubbish isn't it? I feel for you.

maganan

Sadly I have nothing to say to help that hasn't already been send but I am sending strength, hugs and positive wishes

Good luck

Kate x

financialdisease

Frugal_Freya wrote: »

Have read this entire thread, just wanted to say thinking of you. Please, please protect yourself. Your husband doesn't look like he's going to have his LBM any time soon, and until he does, he's not going to change the underlying behaviours.

Good luck.

What do I need to do, I can't think straight im exhausted.
What steps should I take to protect us? Any ideas, plans or lists will be massively appreciated.

Cottage_Economy

financialdisease wrote: »

Its definitely not about hiding assets its about protecting me and d the kids, he has nk say in this I am telling him I don't trust with our future what is to stop him from borrowing against the house in the future if I don't force this on him. Every payment for the past 13 years has come out of my sole account from my salary cant I use that to show he has nothing to gain from the house

He just wont listen to me or any links I have forwarded him regarding debt advice he clearly thinks these people knows better, im starting to wonder if mixing with these people have had an influence on his spending keeping up with the jones type thing?

I have no fear of life without him other than the heartbreak the kids will experience, I can't imagine him hanging around to be father of the year. Regardless of his hands off parenting style they adore him, I won't go as far aa saying I do but like I said before I thought he was my forever I'm crying typing this

It doesn't matter how you and he view it unfortunately, it is classed as asset disposal. He cannot just give up his financial interest in your property before insolvency proceedings. It is not legal.

You need to read up on bankruptcy yourself and what is allowed by law. You may be allowed to 'buy out' his interest, but that will mean your mortgage will have to increase to cover his share of any equity in the property. It may take it out of the affordability bracket for you on your own though.

There are bankruptcy publications available here: http://www.bis.gov.uk/insolvency/Publications

Specifically this one:
http://www.bis.gov.uk/assets/insolvency/docs/publication-word/guide-to-bankruptcy-13-1197.doc


If you want to protect yourself and your kids, I implore you to read them NOW and be fully informed. He would be better off using a debt charity like stepchange to address the debts. That is the only protection for you all right now to keep the mortgage payments as they are and affordable for you. Find a way to continue paying the debts.

BTW the courts can if they wish attach an income attachment order to your husband's wages after bankruptcy if they think he earns enough to make a contribution and that can continue for up to three years after the bankruptcy order. So bankruptcy is not the final solution he may be wishing for.

I don't think you husband us going to be a happy bunny when he comes back from the IP's office tomorrow, assuming the IP has not presented a glossy image of insolvency and skated over the details.

financialdisease

Good I want him to know that these things aren't right for him, I truly believe from the information I have read since posting this that a DAS is what he needs its only going to get worse if the appointment tomorrow is all chatty chatty lah dee da we will fix it