Debt Bomb shell dropped on me

eyeopener2

See how when people bring things to your attention you can think them through properly? Now you have to do the same with the debt situation.

Get him to take it (and you) seriously. Threaten him if necessary with leaving or something along those lines - even though it's not really going to happen. Give him a wake up call!

financialdisease

I hope he is reading and can see that the advice is all good anx every thing I have typed has been with brutal honesty, its so much easier than saying it to his face when I know it would get jumbled up and his response might spark anger or tears. It would be good if he was to join and post his honest feelings and plans for for the future as strange as it may sound it feels so much less painful this way ♥

-taff

Dealing with it in type is not the same as speaking face to face. Anything can be miscontrued without the use of excessive smileys.

Why are you afraid of anger or tears? I'd have smacked mine over the head with a mug by now, or a frying pan.....

financialdisease

I don't like confrontation, things get said that aren't true just to be nasty and for the kidd sake our oldest takes it really hard if we have the slightest argument or tension between us.

I sent him a message asking about using the bonus to make the minimum payments to the cards therefore leaving him with £900 after bills, I have said he must make additional payment of £500 off of his wages and transfer the other £700 to me for safe keeping. I will let you know his reply.

-taff

You really should just talk to him. And him to you. Texting isn't going to sort anything out, because they're emotionless demands.

Is he still stopping off at the pub after work?

financialdisease

I don't know I wasn't I when he got back which was before me at 8 but I imagine so, he is off out again tomorrow evening but has promised to type up some holding letters tomorrow on his lunch hour I said to bring them home and I will send them recorded delivery.

Miss_Poohs

I don't like confrontation either, and for our sons sake I kept a lid on things when he was home, but my Gawd did I rant and rave when it was just the two of us.
There were times I could have ripped his head off with my bear hands....but I felt I had every right to be that angry and upset.
He still hates talking about it, he's embarrassed and ashamed but it's only now I know that.
Get angry and/or upset if you feel it's the right thing to do for you - he will have to suck it up x

financialdisease

I just searched for and sent him the customer service address for all of the banks involved, does he have to do a holding letter each for his, card, loan and over draft at b.o.s or all the information on one letter? Thanks

Miss_Poohs

What do you mean by a holding letter?
Is he intending to set up his own DMP?
I would say each card, loan or O/D would need it's own letter.
I'm not sure where you stand with interest and charges on a self administered DMP, I know with DAS all interest and chargers are frozen once the DAS I'd accepted, also the creditors are not allowed to contact you either to hassle you for payment.

-taff

financialdisease wrote: »

he is off out again tomorrow evening.

This is not the behaviour of someone who wants to change. It's the behaviour of someone who still wants to hide his problem.

I wish you luck.