Is there any way to motivate the missus to lose weight? Running out of ideas...

Georgiegirl256

paulineb wrote: »

Yes of course, but that choice can take years to get to.

Yes its a choice but its also a struggle.

I totally agree, it was a struggle for me with the cigarettes, it took years for me to have that lightbulb moment. I had many failed attempts before I actually gave up, but something just clicked with me when I finally did give up. But I don't buy this 'you don't have a choice' that some people continually say....people have always got a choice, I think some people just use that as an excuse. I know I did with cigarettes, I was like 'I can't help it, it's not my fault, I'm addicted', and on the excuses went, and that's what they are to a certain extent, excuses.

Cloudydaze

paulineb wrote: »

Yes its a choice but its also a struggle.

Maybe the problem is that everyone expects things to be easy & instant these days.

I spent my 20s watching what I ate, restricting calorie intake. I also used to go to the gym several times a times a week. I'd reach my goal, relax, treat myself and then put weight on and so it continued.

However a revelation occurred in my 30s when I started cycling to work which increased my excercise to 2-3 hours per day. This is the amount of physical activity I need to do in order to eat what I want and be the size I want.

BUT IT IS NOT EASY!! Getting up and on a bike at 6:30 am on a dark, cold, wet winter morning is hard. VERY HARD.

So yes, it is a choice & it is a struggle. But I'd rather be thin & healthy, than fat. Those are the choices I make because of my love of chocolate.

paulineb_2

Cloudydaze wrote: »

Maybe the problem is that everyone expects things to be easy & instant these days.

I spent my 20s watching what I ate, restricting calorie intake. I also used to go to the gym several times a times a week. I'd reach my goal, relax, treat myself and then put weight on and so it continued.

However a revelation occurred in my 30s when I started cycling to work which increased my excercise to 2-3 hours per day. This is the amount of physical activity I need to do in order to eat and be the size I want.

BUT IT IS NOT EASY!! Getting up and on a bike at 6:30 am on a dark, cold, wet winter morning is hard. VERY HARD.

So yes, it is a choice & it is a struggle. But I'd rather be thin & healthy, than fat. Those are the choices I make because of my love of chocolate.

I certainly dont expect things to be easy and instant. But Ive been honest with the fact Ive had issues with food, issues with anxiety, issues with confidence and when you add a few things together that can make it tougher.

If it was easy for many people, no one would ever have a weight problem, millions of people do and its not always about food. In the scenario of the OP, his wife is eating in secret, theres more going on that her just being overweight.

bluebeary

Cloudydaze wrote: »

BUT IT IS NOT EASY!! Getting up and on a bike at 6:30 am on a dark, cold, wet winter morning is hard. VERY HARD.

its not hard, its invigorating !:j

System

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

I totally agree, it was a struggle for me with the cigarettes, it took years for me to have that lightbulb moment. I had many failed attempts before I actually gave up, but something just clicked with me when I finally did give up. But I don't buy this 'you don't have a choice' that some people continually say....people have always got a choice, I think some people just use that as an excuse. I know I did with cigarettes, I was like 'I can't help it, it's not my fault, I'm addicted', and on the excuses went, and that's what they are to a certain extent, excuses.

Obviously the two are similar but you don't need cigs to live, so as hard as it is to cut them out, you can do just that. And once they are gone you've done it. Food on the other hand isn't so easy to cut out, at least not fully (though if I could never eat again I'd be very happy)

Georgiegirl256

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Obviously the two are similar but you don't need cigs to live, so as hard as it is to cut them out, you can do just that. And once they are gone you've done it. Food on the other hand isn't so easy to cut out, at least not fully (though if I could never eat again I'd be very happy)

True, you definitely don't needs cigarettes to live....in the same way you don't need chocolate, crisps, pizza, cream cakes, all other junk food....

Obviously you need food, but what kind of food you choose to eat is up to you, the choice is yours, no one makes you eat chocolate etc.

paulineb_2

But junk food is everywhere. There are people who can regulate their food intake, can eat a quarter of a pizza for example, other people can't and won't.

Sugar is addictive and it's everywhere, even in some low fat so called healthy foods. It's in lots of alcohol as well.

I don't crave sugar, I'm not sweet toothed, savoury was always my downfall.

globetraveller

Try the Jane plan.great meals and all you add is fruit and veg. Buy the three month plan.you can also add to it by having the main meal.with her. It's working for me after years of trying every diet under the sun.

paulineb_2

The hormone leptin and the levels of it in an overweight person can also be a factor as to why people struggle to control cravings and keep eating even though they are overweight.

HeatherH

Just thought I'd add my 2pence.

Through life events I ended up being nearly 18st, mentally and physically broken and exhausted. Luckily, last year when I really did feel 6ft under, I did have my light bulb moment. It was only from myself not being able to walk more than 5mins without having to sit down, having constant pain in my spine because it couldn't cope, which then gave me sleeping issues. I ended up practically having a nervous breakdown, as I may have been breathing, but I definitely didn't have a life.
It was from then on that I slowly, but surely got my life back on track, with the help of drs, nurses, physio, my friends and family. I am now 4st lighter, a hell of a lot happier, and determined to run (not walk) a race for life event in June, I've still got weight to go, but I'm over half way, and hope to hit my goal by the end of the year.

Before this, I'd had loads of failed diet attempts, but from what I learnt, is that it has to come from within. No one can lose the weight for you, help and support is key on any road to success and nothing will happen if you don't try.
There are many websites for diet weightloss etc, I still use myfitnesspal.com as there are always support buddies on the forums and it helps you keep track in the simplest of ways.
Anyways, I'll stop rambling, hope the OPs other half finds where she's happy whichever way it comes.

Heather