Elderly Relative falling victim to Scrounger, Maybe.

margaretclare

Danni-R wrote: »

Your Auntie still has all her faculties so what is the basis for taking her cash book off her? Wont this just annoy her more?

I ask because as you will see in my post, when Nan asked for more money, she was given it. We think she either throws it away or she may eat the paper money (her eyesight isnt very good and well, its happened). But ultimately, it is her money. Whilst you have every right to be grumpy about being done out of your £2k. I dont think you have the right to stop her getting her money. What about paying for her to have additional carers to take her out once a week to get her hair done? Or how about just to a garden center. 3 hours a week and you'll have a happy (happier) old lady.

Your Aunt sounds like she knows her own mind and I wouldn't fancy being cooped up for weeks at a time when I used to have my freedom.

Oh God, no! Might as well be in prison, for a crime I didn't commit except that of becoming old.

Growing old does not make you into a member of a different species or from a different planet. You remain as you used to be - the same interests, hopes, wishes, concerns.

DH and I are not very mobile any more, but so long as we have the car, we go out - as he puts it, 'making memories'. It is wrong to envy people, but we did envy an older couple we saw out today on the Essex coast, complete with hiking-boots, rucksacks and binoculars. They're doing what we'd love to do but can't. Even so, we're fortunate to have the car. Without it we'd go nowhere.

tea_lover

irishjohn wrote: »

Did you ask to pay another week's rent to give you more time?

Wasn't an option - we were given a non-negotiable date and had to clear everything out in that time.

Carmina-Piranha_2

irishjohn wrote: »

When my mum moved straight from hospital into a care home I was not pressured to clear the flat quickly, it was up to me to give notice and pay the rent until the end of the notice period. To the best of my knowledge this is what happens in all rental schemes, in fact they often have a minimum notice period and the rent has to be paid for that period even if the flat is emptied immediately.

Sorry, yes, the rent was paid while she was in a care home. She thought she'd go home at some point. After she died we only had a week or two. Maybe that doesn't seem so short to some, but when family are scattered around the country, and you don't want to clear the flat before the funeral, it doesn't leave much time. Her flat was left as it was and the funeral set off from there.

Her pension went to the care home as far as I'm aware, but she had enough in her bank account to pay the rent on her flat.

Danni-R

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

Sorry, yes, the rent was paid while she was in a care home. She thought she'd go home at some point. After she died we only had a week or two. Maybe that doesn't seem so short to some, but when family are scattered around the country, and you don't want to clear the flat before the funeral, it doesn't leave much time. Her flat was left as it was and the funeral set off from there.

Her pension went to the care home as far as I'm aware, but she had enough in her bank account to pay the rent on her flat.

I know its an emotive subject but it was your choice to wait until after the funeral to clear out her things and its not really the councils fault that the family are scattered around the country and cant clear the belongings. I think if you would have asked and paid rent they would have let you have longer. But with in reason. Its an asset to the council that they cant afford to have sit empty whilst families decided who gets what etc.

Carmina-Piranha_2

Danni-R wrote: »

I know its an emotive subject but it was your choice to wait until after the funeral to clear out her things and its not really the councils fault that the family are scattered around the country and cant clear the belongings. I think if you would have asked and paid rent they would have let you have longer. But with in reason. Its an asset to the council that they cant afford to have sit empty whilst families decided who gets what etc.

I wasn't moaning

And yes, it's not the council's fault that family is scattered and that we chose for the funeral to set off from her flat before we emptied it.

It would have been nicer to have 3 or 4 week's grace after a death or a move into a care home though, especially when there's such a long period before they actually let the property out again.

It's not really a case of who gets what, but rather when people can get time off work to do the clearance, after taking time off for late-night hospital admissions etc. and working out a rota so that she had visitors every day both in hospital and the care home. Most people kept something of sentimental value but the majority of sorting out was for charity shops and the selling of things like the mobility scooter, for the money to be donated to charity. It wasn't mercenary, we weren't squabbling over the jewellery.

We did ask, and we were paying rent but a week or two longer would have been nicer - even if they'd said we could sort the garden out after we'd handed the keys back, for example.

irishjohn

tea_lover wrote: »

Wasn't an option - we were given a non-negotiable date and had to clear everything out in that time.

By whom? I'm sorry but I don't believe any landlord is going to force the end of a tenancy if rent is paid. I need convincing.

Was this sheltered accommodation? Social Housing? Private rental?

irishjohn

Carmina-Piranha wrote: »

I wasn't moaning

And yes, it's not the council's fault that family is scattered and that we chose for the funeral to set off from her flat before we emptied it.

It would have been nicer to have 3 or 4 week's grace after a death or a move into a care home though, especially when there's such a long period before they actually let the property out again.

It's not really a case of who gets what, but rather when people can get time off work to do the clearance, after taking time off for late-night hospital admissions etc. and working out a rota so that she had visitors every day both in hospital and the care home. Most people kept something of sentimental value but the majority of sorting out was for charity shops and the selling of things like the mobility scooter, for the money to be donated to charity. It wasn't mercenary, we weren't squabbling over the jewellery.

We did ask, and we were paying rent but a week or two longer would have been nicer - even if they'd said we could sort the garden out after we'd handed the keys back, for example.

So the reality is it is down to the family of the deceased to determine when to terminate the tenancy and pay the rent until that date, either out of the deceased's estate or out of their own pockets. The council really won't force you out within an unreasonable timescale but neither will they allow a rent free period for the clear out - a nice idea but non commercial and likely to make people take even longer to sort out.

slightlyconfused1

Often there is such a long waiting list for council houses, especially those that are suitable for the elderly that the Council do set a (very short) date for the house to be cleared.

When MIL died we had phonecalls re buying her house the next day. I had to ask them to have the decency to wait until the funeral. It was very upsetting for her family.

irishjohn

slightlyconfused1 wrote: »

Often there is such a long waiting list for council houses, especially those that are suitable for the elderly that the Council do set a (very short) date for the house to be cleared.

When MIL died we had phonecalls re buying her house the next day. I had to ask them to have the decency to wait until the funeral. It was very upsetting for her family.

If the tenant in a rental property dies, the tenancy has to be terminated by whoever is winding up the estate. That person is the one who determines the notice given and therefore how much time can be taken to clear out the house. If rent is still being paid how would the council know the tenant has died. I personally think people generally give themselves a hard time by giving too little notice to save having to pay any more rent.

Giving notice to a local authority one thing - prospective buyers of an owner occupied property is something altogether different.

thorsoak

Glitch wrote: »

Just come back from seeing Auntie (5 hour round trip).

Manager called us aside with "concerns" about a visitor ("Friend") who was loudly complaining about not having enough money. The care home has acted ahead of us and will not permit this visitor access to Auntie's bedroom. All visits (by "Friend) are to be in the communal area and will be overheard.

Auntie (later, up in her room) was complaining "Didn't think I'd ever need a Zimmer frame.... Can't do anything by myself now.... Haven't been out since yesterday when [her sister] came and took me out to a tea room..."

Easily the oldest resident, Auntie has much higher expectations of what makes an interesting day than any of the other residents.

Cousin now keeps Auntie's bank book for her and so "Friend" will not get any chance to scrounge big sums of money. Auntie is getting through worrying amounts of cash though. It seems she might be giving "Friend" £5 or £10 each time she visits. We know "Friend" used to charge £3 to visit when she lived alone. That's just for a friendly visit. Cleaning and shopping were extra.

Apart from the cash thing I don't think Auntie is at much risk with lots of relative plus the care home staff guarding her.

I'd like to raise my concerns about "Friend" to someone. Who? Social Services? Age Concern? - she has other "Clients" and I think someone should know about this.

This might be of some use:- http://www.ageuk.org.uk/cymru/health--wellbeing/relationships-and-family/elder-abuse/