Help me understand....

victory

pawsies wrote: »

The way I see it is she is going to accompany both kids. If you don't pay half then she could be miserable and leave your kid out and favour hers etc.
It is blackmail but for the sake of my kid I would pay half to ensure he remained happy and excited

I wouldn't say it was blackmail, it sure was unexpected , never discussed but blackmail?

Kayalana99

"Oh btw OH has opted to go with the boys and offered to pay for the whole ticket isn't that great? You don't have to worry about your half now"

If it's met by "I want to go" ..."Oh! I thought you were asking me to pay half because it was putting you out....I guess theirs been a mis understanding would you want to pay for the full ticket instead then? Just seems a bit mad for me to pay half if I'm not going!"

Think...light hearted!

wouldthisbeodd

Does the adult who is going get to participate in the activities or are they just there for health and safety reasons?

I can see both sides, but if she chose to go and will happily join in the activities which I would as it sounds fun then she is being cheeky in asking you to contribute towards her day out whether she is taking your son or not, like you say it was her choice to go.

onlyroz

Is she doing you a favour by going? If she's giving up her free time to supervise kids when she'd rather be somewhere else then I think you should cough up. If it's a day out that she'd be doing anyway, and your son is just going along for the ride, then she's being a cheeky mare.

victory

Kayalana99 wrote: »

"Oh btw OH has opted to go with the boys and offered to pay for the whole ticket isn't that great? You don't have to worry about your half now"

If it's met by "I want to go" ..."Oh! I thought you were asking me to pay half because it was putting you out....I guess theirs been a mis understanding would you want to pay for the full ticket instead then? Just seems a bit mad for me to pay half if I'm not going!"

Think...light hearted!

perfect thank you:D

GobbledyGook

I think it entirely depends on the day. If it's purely something the two kids will enjoy and not something either of you would do I think paying half is fair, especially if it was the kids who asked to go. It's a better position than you both spending the money on an adult ticket to take each kid. Especially when it's not just a few quid you are talking about.

If it's the kind of day she'd be taking her kid to anyway and it was her idea for yours to tag on then she's being cheeky.

valk_scot

I'd just pay her the £25 and grin and bear it tbh. Otherwise it might cause problems between the two boys and it would be pretty grim if they fell out before the great day. I can see the situation from both sides tbh but I do feel that you getting so worked up about things and feeling you're being cheated somehow is only going to cause problems. I would treat it as a live and learn experience, learn as in next time this sort of situation arises you make 100% sure upfront that the same situation doesn't happen again.

KiKi

I doubt she did it deliberately. She probably just didn't think it through, or she was telling someone about it, and they said "well I hope your friend's paying half - which made her think about it.

It's annoying, but you have three choices:
* Pay it
* Don't pay it
* Take the ticket and go instead

I would make the decision based on the following:
Are you paying for her to have a great day out herself??
Or is she sacrificing her time for a day that the boys will love but she will hate, and therefore you're paying for her time on the basis that you wouldn't want to go yourself, but the boys *have* to have an adult?

If the former, I'd refuse to pay. If the latter, I'd happily pay. After all, I'd rather pay someone else than have to give up my whole day dragging my backside around some adventure event. I'd rather gouge my eyes out with a blunt instrument.

KiKi

Spendless

A couple of years ago, my husband took our son and 2 of his friends to a Gaming Convention abroad. Son had seen it advertised and wanted to go and asked about his friends coming along too. Only husband could take them out of all the adults involved. Due to the kids ages husband had to have a ticket to get into the convention too. We funded that ourselves. Food was also funded individually. The other costs involved, transport, accommodation and toll fees, my friend insisted that these were split 3 ways per family, rather than 4 ways per person. She felt that was fairer on us and was a gesture to a 'thank you' as without husband her son wouldn't have been able to go.

I wouldn't have asked for the money though, if she hadn't offered. My son had done the initial asking and invited friends, with our consent. If the costs for my husband had been too expensive for us, then either we would have told son it wasn't financially possible or if it only was with other families contributing to the accompanying adults costs that would have been said at the beginning to the families concerned 'we can only make this possible by all contributing £x, are you interested in your child going?'

TopQuark

Seems like the OP only posted this thread to elicit responses that backed her up and since there is no clear consensus on whether the friend is a 'cheeky mare' or not, she keeps paraphrasing and repeating herself ad nauseam in an attempt to get broad agreement. Hence its up to 5+ pages and counting.

As everyone has already said, if the friend will enjoy the activity and would do it herself regardless of the kids, then I think she is being a little cheeky asking for half. That said, she is still making it possible for YOUR kid to go and enjoy himself and will be responsible for him whilst he is there, so maybe it's not all that cheeky. If on the other hand she is doing it out of obligation (you already said it's not your sort of thing, so maybe she felt she had to offer or the kids wouldn't be able to go), then I feel it's you being the rude one. If you know she offered just to make it possible, then you the are taking advantage by trying to wriggle out of paying what is fair by saying 'but she offered'.

I have a niggling feeling that we aren't getting the full facts here....