Club Lloyds Account Direct Debit Question

Lloyds_Bank

typistretired wrote: »

You do great work wish the other banks had representatives on this forum.

Hi typisretired.

Thanks for your lovely comments, really appreciate them. I'll share this with Craig.

Thanks

James

Mr_Deep-Pockets

This is scarcely believable, but the Lloyds call centre assures me it is so. It gave me such a good laugh anyway, so I hope you find it as amusing.

I logged on to internet banking tonight and was able to upgrade our joint Vantage account to Club Lloyds without any fuss or trouble. It only took 5 minutes and all the Ts & Cs were displayed and acknowledged.

I then tried to do the same with my sole Vantage account and the website told me that I had to contact the branch. "Odd", I thought. So I phoned the call centre and they checked me out securitywise... then the bombshell... "Yes sir, we can upgrade your account over the phone but it takes about 45 minutes!". "Why so long?" I asked. "Because we have to read out all the terms and conditions to you, Sir, line by line". "What, that's crazy!.... and is there an alternative?"... "Yes, sir if you visit a branch they'll play a video for you instead".

I could tell from the sound of the guy's voice that he was really quite afraid I'd say "OK, go on then". I was tempted, though, and then after 45 minutes I'd be saying "Can you hang on a minute, please, my wife would like to do the same with her sole account". :rotfl: :rotfl:

Has common sense left the building, I wonder, when it comes to bank account marketing and application regulations these days.

The absurdity of it is, how come this palaver isn't necessary for the joint account?! It really makes me wonder if this is all just a ruse to sell us some financial advice, face to face.

colsten

The palaver is necessary as too many people claim compensation because they apparently never got told any T&Cs and were "mis-sold" something. So now, when you open accounts over the phone or face to face, they make sure they have a record of you having listened to, or watched, the whole spiel. If you apply online, you have to tick and confirm that you have read, and accept, the T&Cs.

Just one of the more bizarre results of over-exercising consumer power, I'm afraid.

Mr_Deep-Pockets

We went to carry out our Classic Vantage -> Club Lloyds upgrade "in-branch" today, but it isn't a simple matter. So much so, that nobody was available to take us through it. They did, however, put us in a room with a phone and a glass of water each and dialled the call centre number for us. So it was just like doing it at home only Lloyds was paying the phone bill.

It took two hours!

We each had to go through security questions then listen separately to a long long script involving some marketing questions, some questions about Lifestyle Benefits, many questions about our understanding of the Ts & Cs before eventually it was confirmed that our accounts had been upgraded. Two further phone calls were required to partially close our two redundant accounts then a brief stop at the 'Welcome Desk' to actually close them.

I wonder how Lloyds can justifiably call the service they provide "Personal Banking" as this experience was as impersonal, frustrating and physically uncomfortable as it gets. Once the "Lifestyle Benefit Window" has passed our magazines and cheap meals will be hard-won.

What other organisations would put you in a room with a glass of water, interrogate you by phone, insult your intelligence, read irrelevant verses from their creed to you and hope that you'll eventually crack under the pressure?

Zanderman

Mr_Deep-Pockets wrote: »

We went to carry out our Classic Vantage -> Club Lloyds upgrade "in-branch" today, but it isn't a simple matter. So much so, that nobody was available to take us through it. They did, however, put us in a room with a phone and a glass of water each and dialled the call centre number for us. So it was just like doing it at home only Lloyds was paying the phone bill.

It took two hours!

We each had to go through security questions then listen separately to a long long script involving some marketing questions, some questions about Lifestyle Benefits, many questions about our understanding of the Ts & Cs before eventually it was confirmed that our accounts had been upgraded. Two further phone calls were required to partially close our two redundant accounts then a brief stop at the 'Welcome Desk' to actually close them.

I wonder how Lloyds can justifiably call the service they provide "Personal Banking" as this experience was as impersonal, frustrating and physically uncomfortable as it gets. Once the "Lifestyle Benefit Window" has passed our magazines and cheap meals will be hard-won.

What other organisations would put you in a room with a glass of water, interrogate you by phone, insult your intelligence, read irrelevant verses from their creed to you and hope that you'll eventually crack under the pressure?

Mrs Zanderman and I sat in front of a computer half an hour ago and upgraded her Classic Vantage to Club online in less than 10 minutes... It was very impersonal, but very fast - and we were on the sofa at home with a nice cup of tea and some biscuits.

Mr_Deep-Pockets

Zanderman wrote: »

Mrs Zanderman and I sat in front of a computer half an hour ago and upgraded her Classic Vantage to Club online in less than 10 minutes... It was very impersonal, but very fast - and we were on the sofa at home with a nice cup of tea and some biscuits.

Yes, as I discovered today, if you only have one account you can do it online, and I had a similarly swift and cosy experience with my first upgrade a few days ago - ten minutes no problem at all. Trouble is, your second and third can't be done online. I really can't fathom the rationale behind this at all other than as a disincentive to cash in on a good interest rate and some freebies.

Lloyds_Bank

Mr_Deep-Pockets wrote: »

We went to carry out our Classic Vantage -> Club Lloyds upgrade "in-branch" today, but it isn't a simple matter. So much so, that nobody was available to take us through it. They did, however, put us in a room with a phone and a glass of water each and dialled the call centre number for us. So it was just like doing it at home only Lloyds was paying the phone bill.

It took two hours!

We each had to go through security questions then listen separately to a long long script involving some marketing questions, some questions about Lifestyle Benefits, many questions about our understanding of the Ts & Cs before eventually it was confirmed that our accounts had been upgraded. Two further phone calls were required to partially close our two redundant accounts then a brief stop at the 'Welcome Desk' to actually close them.

I wonder how Lloyds can justifiably call the service they provide "Personal Banking" as this experience was as impersonal, frustrating and physically uncomfortable as it gets. Once the "Lifestyle Benefit Window" has passed our magazines and cheap meals will be hard-won.

What other organisations would put you in a room with a glass of water, interrogate you by phone, insult your intelligence, read irrelevant verses from their creed to you and hope that you'll eventually crack under the pressure?

Hi again Mr Deep-Pockets,

Sorry to hear about your experience at our branch and apologies for the inconvenience. Which branch did you visit? I'll be happy to pass on some feedback for you.

Thanks,

Craig

GingerFurball_2

Mr_Deep-Pockets wrote: »

What other organisations would put you in a room with a glass of water, interrogate you by phone, insult your intelligence, read irrelevant verses from their creed to you and hope that you'll eventually crack under the pressure?

I love it when people moan about this.

I'm also going to hazard a guess that you didn't book yourself an appointment in branch either.

Mr_Deep-Pockets

GingerFurball wrote: »

I love it when people moan about this.

I'm also going to hazard a guess that you didn't book yourself an appointment in branch either.

I'm glad I entertain you.

We opened two accounts at Nationwide last year - no appointment necessary
I switched my energy provider recently - no appointment necessary
The organisation I work for recruits hundreds of customers daily - no appointment necessary
Lloyds Bank - First Club Lloyds upgrade - no appointment necessary

My expectation of the resources a bank devotes to gaining/keeping customers and designing processes that facilitate this is just a bit higher than yours.

Mr_Deep-Pockets

Lloyds_Bank wrote: »

Hi again Mr Deep-Pockets,

Sorry to hear about your experience at our branch and apologies for the inconvenience. Which branch did you visit? I'll be happy to pass on some feedback for you.

Thanks,

Craig

Thanks, Craig, for your offer. The staff at Milton Keynes branch listened to my problems and were incredibly helpful. They did everything within their power to assist. It's clear that they are battling against the same system as the customer. The system invents large repetitive time-consuming tasks for them and I deeply sympathize with their frustration and difficulty in keeping the customer happy while following the instructions of their superiors in London.

The guy on the phone at the call centre in Scotland kept apologizing during the call for the script he had to read out and the questions he had to ask. As he said - "I know what your answers to these questions are going to be from what you've told me already, but I've got to ask you them anyway. I'm really sorry". He had been turned into an automaton by the process and he was having to do the same to us.

If you can feed these comments back to the designers of the system I'd be most grateful, though.