can you help me?

justme111

I hear your pain .. you done better than.me probably as I managed 12 years of married life while you 30 .. so I do not pretend to know things that you do not. It's just that it is always easier to see things when one is not in the middle of them. Plenty of women divorce because they don't feel loved , appreciated and sexually happy in their marriages so not sure why you think you would look ridiculous, to me it sounds like a very valid reason for a divorce . I just don't think it looks like if you taken that decision it would been well thought one , you are too hurting and anxious for it methinks and your marriage may improve hopefully and you will live happily ever after.

Poppops

I asked about the internet because your story could be mine.

I'm sure it won't be the case with you, but once I started wondering why the search history was always empty I found my answer.

It's worth a look anyway

Tiglath

Is there any link to certain times of the year?

poet123

Are you sure it is not job related? Men often internalise things, but that causes them to shut down to anything not directly involved.

eamon

A much derided sympton is the "male" menopause. The medical jury is currently out on this. I can only offer conjecture on this. Like many men going to the doctor for any medical/personal issue is difficult, the hurdles to get to see any GP are immense if you don't know the process. We can get perplexed indeed anxious about our place in society, work, relationships and other posters have mentioned many men me included "internalise" matters. Society conditions us to be strong and resilient, but very often we have no idea what to do if life, expectations (ours and others) falls outside our understanding. Be patient and don't beat yourself up.

Brenny

Male menopause??

Brenny

Just seen the post above. My post was questioning whether it was male menopause so thinking the same thing.

sitesafe

Poppops wrote: »

I asked about the internet because your story could be mine.

I'm sure it won't be the case with you, but once I started wondering why the search history was always empty I found my answer.

It's worth a look anyway

My thoughts too Poppops, didn't want to be the first one to say it.

What with sites like sugardaddie.com and seekingarrangement.com it's a man's world - sadly any middle aged man who thought he was past his sell by date can now have young 'babe' as a secret lover. The young ladies get spoilt and receive allowances in return for providing companionship to older guys. Or sites like ashleymadison which promote illicit affairs. Even mainstream dating sites are often full of attached/married men and women. English guys of any age are highly sought after by Ukrainian women (often for the wrong reasons but it seems they think there are a lot of gullible men over in this country (I know a man who sends money to complete strangers and also had a girlfriend he sent money to every week)....Anyway, sorry to go on a bit about this but it would be the first place I would be thinking of looking - on the computer.

It could be he is on one of those sex chat lines/web cam sites which could explain his lack of interest in being physical if he has satisfied himself that way ? He may not have gone down this route intentionally but often people end up accessing sites by following up spam emails or pop ups.

Have you considered his sexuality - maybe he has secretly been attracted to the opposite sex?


I really hope you get this sorted out as there is nothing worse than what you are feeling right now - uncertainty, despair, loneliness etc.

Yes, check the history of his internet search, if there is nothing there then maybe he has been clever and set it to delete history, if so reset it to show history..

Maybe as someone else mentioned, it is nothing to do with another woman/man. Maybe it is the onset of Alzheimers or a mental illness as this can start with changes in behaviour such as lack of empathy and lack concern in hurting the feelings of members of the family

poet123

sitesafe wrote: »

My thoughts too Poppops, didn't want to be the first one to say it.

What with sites like sugardaddie.com and seekingarrangement.com it's a man's world - sadly any middle aged man who thought he was past his sell by date can now have young 'babe' as a secret lover. The young ladies get spoilt and receive allowances in return for providing companionship to older guys. Or sites like ashleymadison which promote illicit affairs. Even mainstream dating sites are often full of attached/married men and women. English guys of any age are highly sought after by Ukrainian women (often for the wrong reasons but it seems they think there are a lot of gullible men over in this country (I know a man who sends money to complete strangers and also had a girlfriend he sent money to every week)....Anyway, sorry to go on a bit about this but it would be the first place I would be thinking of looking - on the computer.

It could be he is on one of those sex chat lines/web cam sites which could explain his lack of interest in being physical if he has satisfied himself that way ? He may not have gone down this route intentionally but often people end up accessing sites by following up spam emails or pop ups.

Have you considered his sexuality - maybe he has secretly been attracted to the opposite sex?


I really hope you get this sorted out as there is nothing worse than what you are feeling right now - uncertainty, despair, loneliness etc.

Yes, check the history of his internet search, if there is nothing there then maybe he has been clever and set it to delete history, if so reset it to show history..

Maybe as someone else mentioned, it is nothing to do with another woman/man. Maybe it is the onset of Alzheimers or a mental illness as this can start with changes in behaviour such as lack of empathy and lack concern in hurting the feelings of members of the family

Could be anything then?

sitesafe

poet123 wrote: »

Could be anything then?

My thoughts exactly !!