Neighbour problems

meritaten

or the child is trying to tell you he needs help?
I don't think it would be going too far to have a word with a local HV or even Social Services. you would just be voicing concern about the 'family'.

Bennifred

I can see this is a worry for you, OP, as well as a nuisance.

I think you should definitely speak to your HV about the situation - I can't see what harm it can do, and it might do a lot of good if your neighbours need help.

I'd be interested to know the outcome - I hope you manage to come to some resolution.

Vicky123

It's unlikely that a 10yr old is under the care of a HV,most likely a social worker from children with disabilities team, if anyone.
It sounds as though this child is looking for interaction and is trying to get it in the only way he knows, if he is in mainstream then perhaps it's a bad placement and really ought to be in special school.
Maybe mum doesn't know how to access help, lots of people think children with disabilities are offered all sorts of help, the truth is parents have to advocate endlessly for their child and actively seek out information and services such as respite, appropriate education, play opportunities. It's possible this mum just doesn't know what to do.
It isn't judgemental to suggest the nicest person you could ever meet previous neighbour, wasn't so nice to the boys mother, she may well be weary of everyone's polite suggestions, the real problem is probably that the people who could actually do something to help are the ones who are definitely not knocking on her door.

Morrismorris

I was going to ask the HV opinion, I don't want to go all guns blazing contacting social services.
Maybe she manages fine and just doesn't want to stop him throwing rocks.
Maybe she is fed up with people complaining, although none of the neighbours I gave spoken to have mentioned it, and one neighbour likes a whine about cats so I would expect it from her.

Tiddlywinks

Morrismorris wrote: »

Hi, after some advice as husband and I are at loggerheads over this. We recently moved into our dream house, or so I thought, it had everything we wanted, especially a nice big garden. However, the neighbours across the way look out onto our decking area, no problem there apart from with their child.
He has some sort of disability which makes the situation more delicate I suppose. Every time we are in the garden and he is in his he shouts through the fence, we spoke back, he only shouts hello, and when I say shouts I mean screams. That's it. Hello hello hello every 2 seconds, whether you engage or not, this goes on until we go back indoors. If we are out there and he isn't he bangs on the upstairs window at us, properly bangs the window, I'm worried he might hurt himself at some stages he hitting it so hard.

Now I understand he has a disability and I'm happy to say hello, but to have someone screaming at you constantly is more than annoying, my youngest child is terrified and won't go outdoors.

I'm dreading summer, I think I could go have a word with his parents but husband thinks there's not much they can do.

Any ideas...? I know this sounds awful, and I feel awful, I know neither his parents or him are being malicious but at the same time surely I should be able to enjoy my own garden.

No mentions of throwing rocks.

Morrismorris wrote: »

I have explained to my kids, the oldest two understand perfectly and talk to him etc, it's just my youngest. Having three kids I doubt my garden is going to be quiet either, it's just the constant shouting and then banging on the windows. It grates after a while ( yes I know worse for his parents)

Maybe I should just put up and shut up. Hopefully the new fence will work

Still no mention of throwing rocks.

Morrismorris wrote: »

Well I went round on way back from school.
Long story short, put up fence if you like, don't expect us to pay for it. I mentioned her son shouting saying hello, I asked if there was a way we could chat to him that would not upset him as sometimes he seems a bit agitated, her response was not really just ignore him if he keeps on.
Also mentioned the rocks he's throwing over, as some have been big and they land on my decking, tried to say it as nicely as possible, explaining I have 3 kids, 2 under 6 and wouldn't want them hit by a rock. She said oh well maybe keep an eye on them when you let them out.
A bit of a cheek really but I don't think she wanted to have any kind of conversation with me, I introduced myself and I still don't know her name.

Ah well. I tried. Fence and plants it is.

I'm confused - I think if someone were throwing rocks over into my garden and making a noise then I'd have mentioned the rocks as the headline in the first post.... not waited until the opinions were split and then mention it in passing on page 3.

jaylee3

Throw the rocks back at him. Maybe you'll knock him out. That'll shut him up. :rotfl:

PMSL at this thread.

Morrismorris

Again you can think what you like, I'm not fussed. I appreciate some of you like to jump on a bandwagon. Tbh, it's the noise that does my husbands head in, personally I do worry about the rocks, my eldest is not very mobile and my youngest could get hurt.

Next time I right a post I shall be more concise so that I obtain your approval.

Thanks for the helpful post though, much appreciated.

Morrismorris

jaylee3 wrote: »

Throw the rocks back at him. Maybe you'll knock him out. That'll shut him up. :rotfl:

PMSL at this thread.

That's my dad's idea. That or spray him with a hose .

And I'm accused of being intolerant

I would like to point out, my dad was of course joking, and I didn't find it funny.

Blindsided_2

What is it with this place and picking people's posts apart. I'm surprised anyone ever posts anything without the usual venom from the usual suspects. Has OP been accused of being a troll yet? I do hope you find a solution morrismorris it must be difficult.

SingleSue

With my boys (one Aspergers, one complex autism), if they had been throwing things into next door's garden, then those items would have been removed from the garden to prevent injury to others...unfortunately, we always appeared to be the recipients of objects being thrown into our garden by the neighbour's non disabled children.

Re the vocalising, youngest will make noises which can get very annoying, even to me and the more you try to quieten him, the more he will become self conscious and the worse it will become, a real horrible cycle. I've finally managed to calm his vocalising to a more bearable amount, unfortunately, he has now started banging instead when unsettled! :mad:

Back to the drawing board we go......

Although I know my children are disabled, it doesn't make me feel any less guilty for the upheaval it may cause for others. At times, I have felt blooming awful, especially when youngest has been in complete stress out, meltdown mode and literally screaming the place down and I do worry about the impact it has on those outside the family.

I have also, in the past, been guilty of running and hiding when I have thought someone was going to have a 'go' about their behaviour or noise, or being blase about it...it can be just so embarrassing and yes, it has made me feel a failure as a parent at times.