Neighbour problems

themull1

Does he go out to school/day care centre? or is he in the house all the time? Just wondered if he was getting any help?

themull1

would ring Social Services, too many people don't bother, then its too late when something happens to the child. At least you'll know that you've done what you can. And if the mother has nothing to hide, then all the better.

Morrismorris

I have spoken to HV as I mentioned earlier, I'm hoping she may make enquires however of course I'm going to keep an eye out. I was out tidying up garden tonight and spoke to the child, it didn't stop him shouting although he did want to hold my hand over the fence, his hands were freezing . I just chatted away as I was sorting things out.

It's all guess work as to whether he's being supervised, whether he's happy, whether his mum copes. And as has been pointed out to me I don't have the knowledge of living with an autistic child, if that's even what he has.
Husband says I should keep my nose out. Maybe he's right

meritaten

hun - if this child is reaching out to you physically to hold his hand - that doesn't sound like severely autistic to me. I could be wrong as every child is different, but physical contact with strangers is usually a no-no for the severely autistic.
could he be deaf? or even very low IQ? we don't know. all we know is there is a child you are concerned about. and its quite alright for you to ask if he is known to the HV or SS. as they are the people who SHOULD know if he is cared for appropriately.

Morrismorris

meritaten wrote: »

hun - if this child is reaching out to you physically to hold his hand - that doesn't sound like severely autistic to me. I could be wrong as every child is different, but physical contact with strangers is usually a no-no for the severely autistic.
could he be deaf? or even very low IQ? we don't know. all we know is there is a child you are concerned about. and its quite alright for you to ask if he is known to the HV or SS. as they are the people who SHOULD know if he is cared for appropriately.

I spoke with my husband tonight, my gut tells me something is up. Especially after tonight. I have I suppose kept my distance but I was pottering by the fence and although he kept repeating himself and shouting he was happy when I held his hand, I'm not suggesting before I get jumped on that he's neglected but something doesn't sit right.
Husband says but out, you know nothing about him or his family. But then there the what ifs.
My kids want to give him a football (as suggested by a poster on the thread) but I'm wary of being seen as an interfering sticky beak.
The comments on this thread saying I'm intolerant, ignorant, making his mum feel bad, make me feel I should put my fence up and not get involved.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it

pollypenny

Trust your gut, Morris. He wanted contact and company, his hand was very cold. That's ringing alarm bells with me.

thx1138

Morrismorris wrote: »

The comments on this thread saying I'm intolerant, ignorant, making his mum feel bad, make me feel I should put my fence up and not get involved.
Maybe I'm reading too much into it

Morris -
My wife told me about this thread. I am appalled at the amount of unmerited abuse you have attracted by some of these self-anointed arbiters of moral rectitude. You owe them nothing, and I would encourage you to resolve to no longer dignify their blatherings with explanations, rationales or justifications. They are not medical professionals, they're just a bunch of yahoos armed with the arrogance and self-assurance that can only arise from years of carefully cultivated stupidity.

I would encourage you to do the following:

1. Go immediately to Social Services (or the NSPCC) and give them the objective facts as you understand them. They will take it from there and will make an informed (i.e., for the yahoos also reading that is, not shooting from the hip with no facts and positively no qualifications to comment) determination of how best to alleviate the problem and will preserve your anonymity. As a businessman I know from long-standing experience, when in doubt, ask the experts. Not the room temperature (centigrade) IQs you get from the bile-spewing cretins in this thread.

2. Please take my word for this: you are a good, decent, reasonable, obviously kind-hearted person. The yo-yos in this thread who say otherwise are a bunch of mean-spirited, frustrated wannabes who neither deserve nor receive respect in real life and come to forums like this to vent their self-loathing frustrations on people like yourself. I mean, just look at some of the hate-speak trolls who have been exposed recently in the media. Orange-haired mono-tooth dole rats living in hovels. If you knew these people in real life you wouldn't give them the time of day. (Never mind their avatars. Almost certainly fictitious.)

As to the handicapped, I happen to have some experience there. Not as the consequence of any special vocation, but by unconnected coincidences throughout my life. For example, at university I personally knew two blind people fairly well. And a friend of mine who became a quadriplegic through a diving accident, was a groomsman at my wedding. Also, as a company owner I have hired handicapped persons from time to time. Do you know what the number one complaint I have heard from each of these people is? Most of the yahoos who insult you wouldn't have a clue. They'd think the number one complaint would be something like a lack of sensitivity to the handicapped. Well they'd be wrong. Over and over I have heard the same thing: they are sick and tired of people trying to rob them of their dignity for their own self-glorification. These are the people who insist on opening doors when the handicapped person in question is quite capable of opening those doors themselves, thank you very much. These are the people who talk slowly and carefully to the handicapped in an oily, condescending way, as if it's their brains and not their spinal cords or optic nerves that have been damaged. These are the people who try to enact ad hoc moral legislation for the handicapped, as if they need not be answerable to the same standards of conduct as the rest of us. As a business owner, I reward my handicapped employees exactly the same way I do my able-bodied employees, with fairness and justice and the uniform expectation of excellence, defined by a strong work ethic, a positive attitude and productivity. Period.

I bring this to your attention because you DO have the right to complain when the quiet enjoyment of your home is interrupted by the negligence of a mother who may be behaving irresponsibly.

Again, Social Services are the best arbiters of this question, not the knuckle-dragging cretins trying to bring you to grief. You know the ones, the people who think 'there', 'their' and 'they're' are spelling variations on the same word. Give them all the respect they deserve: none.

Good luck!
Robert

Cloudydaze

I don't know what the politically correct terminology is these days but references to "The Handicapped" really grates.

HPoirot

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: thx1138 you lost your word mincer!!!
Good luck OP, I have been following but not commented.

ukjoel

Cloudydaze wrote: »

I don't know what the politically correct terminology is these days but references to "The Handicapped" really grates.

Thats a fairly ageist comment. You should appreciate and value the posters views and not make references to their terminology not being as modern as you would like.