Messed up. Please help me!

hugoshavez

Your boyfriend couldn't reach you for two days. Did he call the police? Hospitals? No, he moved out. You've done this before, haven't you?

AlexLK

bagpussbear wrote: »

"He spanked me a few times and pulled my hair and I really don't know why I let him as I didn't enjoy it at all! But that was it"

I have quite the boring life these days.... waiting for the next chapter, OP? :rotfl:

Seriously though my advice to the OP can only be to stop being such a dirty little madame.

Desecrated_Landscape

I'm with you rachiibell if your guy is not showing you affection then find it some where else. It is him who pushed you to do what you did and nobody here is considering this. Good on you girl show your guy that other people have intrest in you and if he wont give it you will get it else where.

fairy_lights

If my boyfriend checked in to a hotel for a night of cuddling with another woman I would be heartbroken. In some ways it's worse than sleeping with someone; you can have meaningless, regrettable sex, but meaningless cuddles? that's a new one.

tazzyb

Once is a drunken mistake, still wrong but not the end of the world.

Twice is not a mistake at all, the third time you went knowing what would happen and were there for over a day. Sorry but you know what you were doing, you showed no regard for your boyfriend, your ex bosses girlfriend or baby.

Not sure I believe nothing other then kissing, cuddling and then the apparently random spanking/hair pulling. I fail to see how kissing and cuddling leads to hair pulling and spanking with nothing in between.

Also most men would not pay for a hotel two times in a row if they were not getting a bit more out of it.

Personally I think you have both acted terribly and your partner and his (and his child) deserve better. They must have been out of their minds, while you two were in a hotel room with total disregard for their feelings.

Your partner already does not trust you, shown by the fact he moved out. Tell him or don't tell him that is ultimately your call, but before you do decide if you actually even want to be with him because your actions suggest you don't.

JIL

I don't feel anyone should be judging you. You realise yourself that what you have done was nothing to be proud of. But ask yourself why you did it in the first place? You say your boyfriend is tired and seems to reject your advances? Do you love your boyfriend? Did you see your longterm future with your boyfriend? Was this episode a way of forcing the split? What did you get from your boss, that you weren't getting from your boyfriend? This just does not seem to be about sex. Especially if you go to a hotel room and just cuddle.

valk_scot

rachiibell wrote: »

I know it's bad and I feel absolutely terrible about it but I never had sex with the other guy.

There's more to sex than actual penetration, you know. Just because you didn't do that doesn't mean you weren't indulging in sexual behaviour. Spending the night together, cuddling and kissing, spanking etc...sounds pretty sexual to me. Where's the cut off in your mind?


And you went back for more, several times.


The only thing you can really do is to make a clean breast of it,, tell your boyfriend everything and if you do want to stay with him, grovel. It sounds though that your relationship with boyfriend has already broken down so you should ask yourself if you want to try salvaging it anyway. He probably will dump you tbh and if I were you I'd try to salvage what little dignity you have left from this entire sorry story and accept his decision without making a scene about it. As my mum would say, it will serve you right. If you love and care about a man you don't then spend drunken evenings in bed with another bloke playing spanking games.

VestanPance

You treated your boyfriend with contempt numerous times and knew exactly what you were doing. He's seen sense and dumped your sorry excuse at being his partner. Hopefully for him he has the sense to keep it that way.

paulineb_2

I agree with the stay away from this man. His poor girlfriend and child, that's all I can say.

Get some support for the depression and work on your self esteem, sounds like you need to.

I don't think name calling helps either. Many people post on these boards having made mistakes, sometimes massive ones, it doesn't help.

As to whether she confesses to her boyfriend, her choice, but if you are in a room getting your !!!! spanked by someone, relationship is probably well over.

If the question is how do I sort this, you either spill the beans and risk being dumped or say nothing and deal with the guilt.

Not really worth it for a couple of drunken fumbles in a hotel room.

Learn from what happened and try very hard not to repeat it.

Lance

So you and your ex boss are unemployed and he is a very heavy drinker and takes coke, with you appear to be trying to catch up. The kind drinking you are talking about over a prolonged period suggests you both drink heavily and I doubt you took coke for the first time.


If your recently promoted boyfriend decides to dump you how will you manage? Where will you live? Will the doctor give you treatment for depression because anyone in that position would be very depressed? Was your ex boss depressed when he woke up unemployed or has he got a good job to go to .... or live off partner like you appear to be doing? You are on a very obvious dangerous road yet sek advice off a web forum ........ I know depressed people are not supposed to be told this but you need to 'get a grip!'.