Messed up. Please help me!

Scuffer

rachiibell wrote: »

Thank you. I don't think he is likely to find out but he might have his suspicions I guess. Our relationship hasn't been great lately (before all this happened). I don't think he understands my depression so won't talk to me about things for fear of upsetting me and then just bursts out with it that he's under a lot of stress and can't talk to me about it because I'm putting too much pressure on him. Our sex life hasn't been great either he's gone off it and everything I try doesn't seem to work. We were out with friends the other day and I told him he looked sexy and couldn't wait till we got home and he said it turns him off when I act to eager. I was concentrated on enjoying my time with my friends for the rest of the night and that was wrong too. I just feel like I can't win sometimes. I know sex isn't the be and end all of a relationship but it just makes me feel rubbish about myself all the time. I know I have some things to work on myself and could probably do with being a bit more independent from him, being more confident and being more assertive in general.

We all make mistakes, i know this better than anybody and acknowledging your mistakes is often the most difficult part but really i'm not buying your story. High on drink and drugs in a hotel room with a guy you have got with before and having problems with your relationship. You may as well come clean, i would respect you more and i think everyone who you have asked to help would also respect your honesty. <---- I sound like Jeremy Kyle! TELL THE TRUTH!

Scuffer

gt568 wrote: »

If this is even real, once a !!!!!!, always a !!!!!!.

I said the same thing, just the more polite version :rotfl:

Rottensocks

Seriously, why the name calling? Totally unnecessary to resort to calling people tramps and sluts when they've asked for advice.

Depression could be increasing the likelihood of you acting in a 'needy' way - hence the turn off for your boyfriend, and hence inexplicably doing this with your boss on multiple occasions. Either way, you need to determine whetehr you are going to continue to make these kind of decisions....

If yes, then tell your boyfriend everything and let him go. If no, consider being economical with the truth and bucking up your ideas.

rachiibell

thorsoak wrote: »

You mean like Bill Clinton "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiIP_KDQmXs

No I mean I didn't. If I had then I would have said that I had. Why lie on an anonymous internet forum? I came on here just to ask what other people thought about him deserving to know, sparing his feelings and confessing because you feel guilty as my two closest friends do not agree.

rachiibell

tea_lover wrote: »

Stop blaming your partner (well, ex partner) your boss and everyone else for your mistakes. YOU cheated, repeatedy. Nobody made you. This is nothing to do with being assertive and everything to do with being a selfish tramp who drinks too much.

I am not blaming my partner. I'm blaming myself. I was saying that no matter what happens I need to work on not letting a situation like this ever happen to me again. I think you're being very rude, I only came on here for advice.

thorsoak

rachiibell wrote: »

No I mean I didn't. If I had then I would have said that I had. Why lie on an anonymous internet forum? I came on here just to ask what other people thought about him deserving to know, sparing his feelings and confessing because you feel guilty as my two closest friends do not agree.

You are not sparing his feelings by not telling him when you have told two of your closest friends! Sooner or later he is going to know that you have played him for a cuckold/fool. And he ain't going to feel any better by knowing that you tried to spare his feelings whilst feeling sooo guilty! The longer you leave it, the more !!!! there will be to hit the fan and spread around the room.

Face it. You - and nobody else - has ruined your relationship. It may have been going through a rough time, but your actions are those of someone who didn't particularly care about improving it.

If your conscience is such that you've already admitted your sleazy snorts slurps and snogs to TWO friends - how long into the next bottle of wine will you be before you confess??

thorsoak

rachiibell wrote: »

I am not blaming my partner. I'm blaming myself. I was saying that no matter what happens I need to work on not letting a situation like this ever happen to me again. I think you're being very rude, I only came on here for advice.

We aren't being rude - we are telling it as others see it. Sorry if you cannot see that.

rachiibell

thorsoak wrote: »

We aren't being rude - we are telling it as others see it. Sorry if you cannot see that.

Calling me names is rude. You could still make your point without the offensive language. I do respect your opinions on the matter just not the way some people have expressed them

thorsoak

rachiibell wrote: »

Calling me names is rude. You could still make your point without the offensive language. I do respect your opinions on the matter just not the way some people have expressed them

Calling names may be rude - but frankly, when someone comes onto an internet forum and then boasts - yes I said BOASTS about drug taking, excessive drinking, sharing hotel rooms for drunken fumbling if not fornication - what do you expect?

I likened your behaviour to that of a tramp - which is not calling you a tramp - maybe I should apologise to people of the road!

And give you the definition of trollop according to the OED :http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/trollop

thehappybutterfly

You certainly have messed up. The fact that you didn't have sex with this man is neither here nor there. If it had stopped with the first "mistake" it might be best to keep it to yourself. The fact that you repeated this "mistake" twice...... You have to tell your boyfriend and let him decide if he can get past what you have done.