Messed up. Please help me!

FBaby

What has brought on depression? Could you possibly be suffering from bipolar depression? Excessive normally unexplained behaviour is a sign as is obviously depression. Just a suggestion not a diagnosis.

TopQuark

thorsoak wrote: »

Advice?

1. Don't drink to excess

2. Don't snort coke with ANYBODY

3. Don't cheat - especially with someone who has a partner and baby.

4. Don't make excuses when you tell your b/f that you cheated on him.

5. Don't cry when he tells you that it's over and chucks you out.

You've been an absolute idiot/acted like a tramp. All you can do is apologise, don't expect your relationship to carry on as it was. If it hadn't been in some sort of trouble, you would not have carried on in this way.

Maybe, just maybe, you might be able to get your relationship back on track - but don't be surprised if you've broken it irretrievably.

And whatever else you do - DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO WITH THE COKEHEAD THAT WAS YOUR PREVIOUS BOSS he's cheated on his current partner and will do so again ...and again ...and again.

Massive over-reaction to the OP and unnecessary name-calling that is both rude and unhelpful, as others have pointed out.

OP I hope you can see past some of the holier-than-thou responses on this thread and find some useful advice. You have messed up, but you know that. Only you can judge the situation, but I'd say it's really not fair on your boyfriend to deceive him so you should let him know. The alternative is living with the guilt and fear that he'll find out eventually anyway, so for both your sakes, its probably for the best to confess.

As others have said, steer clear of your former boss too; nothing good can come of any further interactions with him. Good luck.

thorsoak

I'm sorry - I over-reacted? The OP - and I quote asked "any advice please".

So I gave advice. As I see it. As another 24 posters see it. I see absolutely no point in being fluffy about it - she behaved abominably towards her partner of three years. And where does my advice differ from yours - apart from the fact that I did not wrap it up in pretty paper!

If people don't like the advice meted out on t'internet, they should not ask for it there. BTW - if a friend asked me for advice, face to face, then the advice would have been exactly the same.

I wonder what would be your advice were the partner of the cokehead come on here looking for advice - what names would the OP be called then ?

TopQuark

There's saying it like it is and there's being rude and unkind....your reply ventured into the territory of the latter in my opinion.

And I didn't wrap it up in pretty paper - I just didn't see the need to shout and be rude. She also said she has depression, which can make people act rashly and make poor decisions. I really don't think there was any need to be quite so unkind.

And I think calling someone a cokehead based on one instance of use is way over the top! (I didn't see anything to suggest there was an on-going issue with cocaine).

thorsoak

I did not call her a cokehead ...I called the ex-boss that! Maybe you and I differ there - I am not and never have been a social drug taker, although I realise that in younger people, taking coke is as acceptable as drinking alcohol. Maybe I should have referred to him more acceptably to you as a p155-head instead!

I felt - and still feel - that depression was cited as an excuse.

dandelionclock30

These things happen in life, your ex boss is not very good doing that when he has a baby and isnt for you really. Also you dont really think much about your boyfriend otherwize you wouldnt have done it.
I would move on from both and try to find someone that you really love and find exciting then you wont want to be cheating. I wouldnt beat yourself up about what you have done, you havent comitted a crime.

kezzygirl

kissing, cuddling, hair pulling and spanking don't go in the same sentence...unless he kissed you,pulled your hair and then bent u over to spank you!?

but what normal person does that?!i reckon there is more to this than meets the eye. No-one books a room to get drunk and have a snog.soz love!

kezzygirl

that said, I do think a lot of people are taking the moral high ground-one persons depression is completely different to another's....so people should keep quiet regarding the whole 'ive had this and that and IIIIIII didnt do it'....

marisco_2

Honesty is always the best policy. Telling your boyfriend about what has gone on with your boss is not about getting rid of your guilt. Let him know the truth of the relationship he shares with you, and enable him to decide if he still wants any future with you. Trying to cover your tracks and keeping quiet about this is just a further betrayal of his trust. Show him some respect and come clean is my advice before he discovers the truth some other way.

bagpussbear

This post has surely got to be a wind up?!

"He spanked me a few times and pulled my hair and I really don't know why I let him as I didn't enjoy it at all! But that was it"

oh purleese!!!!

If it's not, then my advice to you OP would be to get off the coke, it's messed with your head and you are making crap decisions.