can you help me?

CRANKY40

So.....what you all as a family need is someone to walk your grandson to school, maybe someone who is going that way anyway. Maybe your DIL could ask round and find someone to do it for a small payment?

meritaten

CRANKY40 wrote: »

So.....what you all as a family need is someone to walk your grandson to school, maybe someone who is going that way anyway. Maybe your DIL could ask round and find someone to do it for a small payment?

Yes - I thought about this - but I live in the catchment area for a different school - so I don't know anyone whose child goes to his school. but you never know - Son or DIL may know someone. it will be worth putting forward as an option.

Valli

Meri - with all due respect - minding while they go shopping? Really?

When my mum had DS she told me what she wouldn't do - she expected me or his dad to do his medical appointments. She never, ever had him when either of us weren't at work.

While you may live for them (and I get that) you do need plenty of 'me' time to recharge your batteries. Please make sure you get some!

jellyhead

If I am ever a grandma I'd be happy to mind grandchildren while the parents go shopping Small children hate shopping! I used to take mine on small shopping trips because being bored is part of life, and with lists, etc. they can help to pick up the shopping but for a main shop I think it's lovely if a grandparent is willing to childmind

Or one parent could shop while the other one had the child at home - with youngest we usually take him to the park and one of us stays with him while the other trudges around Tesco.

Getting the shopping delivered might be another option that you could suggest when DIL is heavily pregnant, but if Meritaten enjoys having him for a couple of hours on a weekend then why not?

meritaten

Valli and others who have said similar...........They DO phone and ask if he can come - If I am tired or in pain or just want a quiet evening or Saturday - I have said No, sorry, not today. and arranged another time. but I admit that its rare! I do love to have him and the others! We have a great time together. I get ME time - sometimes too much! I love the kids and find them interesting and fun. and I have this cunning plan for the future - I am teaching them all to cook, and given them the idea its a privilege to cook for me! lol I wont need meals on wheels.

Beckyy

Have you had a nosey round at local child minders? It sounds like you do an amazing job but I totally agree with what has already been said and think it's far too easy for your son and DIL to unintentionally take advantage of your willingness to help.

I say child-minders because it would be unfair if the other grandparents just had the pressure on them increased. Children are expensive and it's not your job to be the childcare they don't want to/can't pay for. I hope you find a suitable time to tell them, when your health is a problem they really can't grumble and will know you'll continue to be a very active grandparent

mountainofdebt

meritaten wrote: »

I get the feeling there is a bit of culture difference here. In the Valley in South Wales where I am, a good third or maybe even half of kids in GSs primary school are taken and/or picked up by grandparents. its 'taken for granted' here that grandparents mind the kids for the parents to work.
Most jobs are NMW so as childminders get more than that - its not an option for most parents.
That is just the economic reality of life here.

lol Meritaten trust me its no culture difference - from what you've posted in the past I have more than sneeky suspicion that we live closer to each other than you suspect

I can understand about grandparents dropping off/picking up their grandchildren - and when Junior was that age, my mum dropped him off as I get to get to work - but I can't help but feel that, as they say the devil is in the detail, and when it was first proposed that you drop him off circumstances were different or you had a different vision of how it would work.

meritaten

mod - I don't really make a secret of where I live. its a collection of villages around a town in the Caerphilly area. Thousands of people live there. its a high population area. so you could live in my street and we wouldn't 'know' each other. but you understand the 'culture' here.

I have minded GS since he was a very little baby - about three months or maybe less. things have sort of 'evolved'. looking back, perhaps I have been too 'accomodating'. I am also not the sort of person who complains constantly about my disability. I am used to it and take painkillers when I really, really need to and can mostly cope with pain without them. I understand that my kids and others don't often know the level of pain I live with. because I deal with it. and don't moan or complain, but, this last year I am finding it much harder to take GS to school. I think even without the new baby coming - by summer holidays I would be asking Son and DIL to consider alternative arrangements.

theoretica

Would it be a good idea to have a chat with the other grandparents so you each know what the other is planning to say and when?

jackyann

notanewuser wrote: »

Tell them.

My inlaws have completely snookered their retirement with my 5 nieces and nephews (3 2 year olds and 3 babies). Their whole week is taken up with caring for them, up to. 4 at a time, including overnight stays several nights a week. They're travelling hundreds of miles a week picking up and dropping off and are destroying themselves doing it. It's ridiculous.

Stand your ground. You've done your bit.

Hi! Was it you who posted ages ago about in-laws insisting on driving miles, and carting children about in the car for hours because they disapproved of childcare? Attracted a lot of posts - I have occasionally wondered if they went through with it - it seems they did - and I wonder about the quality of care they are providing in that set up!