Wife having an affair & so I need a divorce

welshflipper

are you sure its only two months? seems quick to decide to leave someone and marry another (i recomend the hit man bit) stay positive for your child

ooobedoo

Can't help but here, have some virtual hugs

(((((((((((raaaa)))))))))))

ooobedoo

Can't help but here, have some virtual hugs

(((((((((((raaaa)))))))))))

TheWaltons_3

raaaaa wrote: »

we were lucky to buy the house at an underprice in Nov 06 - ironically, cos the couple who lived her before us were splitting up and needed a quick sale! we also paid a £40k deposit from some money we'd come into (family inheritance) we bought the house for £235k and in my opinion, esp with the work we've done to it since, the house will hopefully now be worth the £250k mark.

the reason i am focusing on the finacial issues here is cos this is what this forum is about isn't it. i've given some other info just as background to it. but i'm not sure this would be a relevant place to let out all my emotions i'm going through at moment.

you don't have to explain yourself mate, you really don't.

She may just be trying to stick the knife in further by suggesting she will get married so soon... after 2 months? Lunacy!

I would never have considered marrying anyone after 2 months - but then I believe Marriage is for life. Your Missus may be trying to make a Career of it!

I hope she gets her just desserts anyways.

jordylass

When an affair or something similar happens I have read that it is helpful to think of your partner as having been taken over by an alien. They will act and say things they never would if this was not the case.

Divorce is one option, but NOT the only option. Take a look at Divorce Busters there is some excellent advice there, whatever route you take

Smashing

Georgie_Porgy wrote: »

Your wife is the one who has behaved badly. Why should you move out and not get to see your daughter so much?

I quite agree - why should you be out on your ear when she is the one who wasn't exactly putting family first when she decided to have it away with her fancy man?

SSB

Sorry to hear about your difficult circumstances. However, re; Georgy Porgy's advice, you can fight for custoby but you will need to be prepared for a long and possibly nasty fight.
Adultery will not make any difference at the custody hearing, the court will be interested in the welfare of the child. Is there a reason why your wife would not be a capable parent? What about your daughter? As young as she is, she will be aware if the divorce turns into a battle from hell. Is your wife receiveng the Child Benefit? This means that she is the main carer. Make an appointment at CAb, we have a list of practical things to consider whilst splitting up.

winnie81

Georgie_Porgy wrote: »

Have you considered staying in your house with your daughter and letting your wife be the one to leave?

If her bf has kicked out his partner then your wife may be planning to move there with him. If you are sure about divorce then you could petition for divorce and ask a court to let your daughter stay in the house with you until she has completed her full time education at which time the house can be sold or you can buy out your wife. This would give your daughter stability and allow her to remain in familiar surroundings. (This assumes you could afford the mortgage by yourself - bear in mind that you would get maintenance from your wife for your daughter).

Your wife is the one who has behaved badly. Why should you move out and not get to see your daughter so much?

Maybe something to consider. Also it is probably easy to rush into divorce when you are hurt deeply emotionally but it is probably better to give yourself time to see if it is what you really both want. If it is then you should consider the financial implications.

Best wishes to you.

I'd have a think about this

I'm sorry to hear this has happened though I can't imagine what you are going through at the moment I am sorry I have no advice to offer but keep yourself well for your little girl she'll need you to be strong.

Please take some time for yourself too

Claire x

squashy

Your number one priority has to be your daughter. You say you would like to fight for main custody. This is a very admirable thing to do, but please consider whether this is a knee-jerk reaction or if it is genuinely what would benefit her the best. For instance, when you were together, who would she normally run to if she fell and cut herself? Who would be the person to leave work and pick her up from school if she was ill? I am genuinely asking you to think hard about this as incedentally, in our house my husband is probably the main carer and he has been a "stay at home dad" for a lot of the time when they were pre-schoolers. I am also a step mum and my husband sees his older children all the time and he has a very close bond with them, but it was his choice not to go for custody as despite his hurt he saw that they needed to be with thier mum (they were 2 and 4 at the time of seperation).

THe reason I want you to think carefully about this, is that this is one area you really don't want to be dragging through the courts. It is easy to fall into a trap of trying to point score by gaining a day here and a holiday there and your daughter should not suffer.

However if you have a genuine case for custody then please talk it through with your ex and try and come to the best agreement you can.

Once you have decided on residency etc you can then start to look at the finances side of things, in which case you will need a solicitor to advise.

Lots of luck xxx

tigtag02

Wow - this poor guy comes here for advise on a crappy situation and he gets flames - I cant beleive it, so glad to see things are getting better my page 2.

OP - If you honestly beleive that your daughters best interests are for you to be her primary care giver then I say fight the wife tooth and nail for custody. Children are NOT automatically better of with their mothers even though the majority of the time that is what happens.

I'm sorry that you are having a !!!!!! time and that this has happened to you, I hope that the split can continue to be amicable.

And, FWIW, No, not all women are that evil

EDIT: I forgot to add - please ignore the comment about the 18 year old who tried to take her own life - there is quite obviously more to this poor girls issues than her parents seperating!!