My ex still thinks we're together

Person_one

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Leaving the club wouldn't that bad of an idea actually. There's another member who I had different problems with last year. He wouldn't leave me alone and got sectioned, which was my fault apparently.:mad:

He's now wondering why I'm ignoring him. Well, considering he harrassed me via text, wouldn't leave me alone, despite asking 3 times and then turning up to club and deciding the whole evening he was going to bother me. I couldn't really tell him to !!!! off in front of others.

Had no such issue at my previous club. Only left because my current club is around the corner and my previous club was two buses away.

Yes, you can, that's perfectly ok.

You can say, loudly enough for everyone to hear "I've asked you to leave me alone, please respect that and STOP harassing me" as many times as you need to.

itsanne

Person_one wrote: »

Yes, you can, that's perfectly ok.

You can say, loudly enough for everyone to hear "I've asked you to leave me alone, please respect that and STOP harassing me" as many times as you need to.

Not only you can, but you should!

Indie_Kid

I spoke to my coach this evening who said he has a girlfriend in Wales.:mad: He said (as others on here have said) not to be alone with him. I then mentioned that he said that "when we sleep together..." and my coach (who is Christian) that's not the sort of thing he'd discuss with someone he's not even with - I'm with my coach on this.

He asked my coach where Bournemouth is because I'm up there in October and apparently, he's coming with me. That's news to me - I've not even asked him if he'd like to come with me.

He asked me what I was doing on Friday and I said I had plans and then he asked what I was doing on Saturday and we could go up to my running coach's house and do a run from there. I have been advised not to be alone with this man.

I was never keen on the idea of having a relationship with this man in the first place, partly due to the age gap and because we're both at different stages in our life.

itsanne

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I spoke to my coach this evening who said he has a girlfriend in Wales.:mad: He said (as others on here have said) not to be alone with him. I then mentioned that he said that "when we sleep together..." and my coach (who is Christian) that's not the sort of thing he'd discuss with someone he's not even with - I'm with my coach on this.

He asked my coach where Bournemouth is because I'm up there in October and apparently, he's coming with me. That's news to me - I've not even asked him if he'd like to come with me.

He asked me what I was doing on Friday and I said I had plans and then he asked what I was doing on Saturday and we could go up to my running coach's house and do a run from there. I have been advised not to be alone with this man.

I was never keen on the idea of having a relationship with this man in the first place, partly due to the age gap and because we're both at different stages in our life.

Don't tell him what you are doing. You need to be much clearer that you do not intend to see him or do anything with him. Tell him to stop asking you. Then don't tell him what you are doing. (Deliberate repetition)

Person_one

Why are you still responding when this man talks to you?

Indie_Kid

Person_one wrote: »

Why are you still responding when this man talks to you?

Bit rude not to when we're with other people. No-one else is aware of what's gone on.

thorsoak

I think that you should let other people be aware that he is harassing you - which is what he is doing. You don't have to stand for this. He is older than you; he should know what he is doing is wrong.

meritaten

Indie_Kid wrote: »

I spoke to my coach this evening who said he has a girlfriend in Wales.:mad: He said (as others on here have said) not to be alone with him. I then mentioned that he said that "when we sleep together..." and my coach (who is Christian) that's not the sort of thing he'd discuss with someone he's not even with - I'm with my coach on this.

He asked my coach where Bournemouth is because I'm up there in October and apparently, he's coming with me. That's news to me - I've not even asked him if he'd like to come with me.

He asked me what I was doing on Friday and I said I had plans and then he asked what I was doing on Saturday and we could go up to my running coach's house and do a run from there. I have been advised not to be alone with this man.

I was never keen on the idea of having a relationship with this man in the first place, partly due to the age gap and because we're both at different stages in our life.

I think this man is not going to be put off by you. I think you need to go to the police.
Why? because he is planning ahead. you are going to be in Bournemouth in October - and he is going because YOU are going.
Indie - I know its not PC but, is your group composed of people with mental health issues? because this guys MHIs are dangerous. He sounds like he is 'fixated' on you?

Brighton_belle

To be referring to him as an 'ex' implies you had at some point an exclusive girlfriend/ boyfriend relationship: holding hands, going on dates. Yet it's not clear you ever did have that sort of relationship. Did you?
It's reached the stage where you need someone to tell him clearly that his attentions to you are unwanted and harrassment and to ensure he understands this. Is there anyone who can do this on yr behalf?

Person_one

Indie_Kid wrote: »

Bit rude not to when we're with other people. No-one else is aware of what's gone on.

Its not rude at all, and there's no reason to hide his behaviour from other people for him. The more that know the better.