fishface's diary

In_Search_Of_Me

ahh I updated & its gone! In short (because I am hanging after a sleepless night last night) she is alive but still not well & bill total 260 + the 120 I paid last week... which making me feel physically sick! nothing I can do & I cannot just have her put down but neither can I continue with endless treatments either...fingers crossed/prayers please! Well done for not applying hypno! We'll get there - I may be 45 (well I will be!) by the time in get there - if loan runs term it will be 7 years next month that they are ALL finished! Well time goes fast as you get older eh!! O

taxi73

Glad to see the cat is getting better...I do feel for you and agree with what you say about cost tec...it's terrible but at least shes getting better

In_Search_Of_Me

Well its been a nightmate couple of days and the vet bill has been the straw that broke the camels back...I've decided that I'm going to sell my flat and move back with my mum. It means an hour (on a good day!) commute to work but living rent free for a while will mean I can get my money sorted. I just cannot keep living on this knife edge with money. I just feel like I'm running on a wheel and getting nowhere - I pay something off then a bill (cat, roof...) comes in and knocks me back again...It's going to be hard and I'm dreading all the sortig etc but needs must! Need to investigate what I do now as want to get on but know I need to tidy etc...just thought I would update. Hopefully now will be able to eat & sleep again!
Macey update - she is back at the vet - I got her home for weekend tube feeding - to save money - and she went nuts so had to go back in. We've agreed to give her until Monday and see how she is doing. Vet is being lovely and I know doing all he can for her. Cant ask for more really...

In_Search_Of_Me

well I've got 3 estate agents coming next week to value but want to have a tody & sort meanwhile - going to paint the front door and have a bit if a declutter. Hard to know when to start as dont want to move stuf too early but also dont want the house looking too cluttered either! Cant win eh! I also need to decide what to sell and what to store (best friend says I can put stuff in her garage so some will go there). Feeling much better than I was and able to eat again which is good and have now told a few people so thats the worst bit over in some ways & its just a matter of getting on with it now! Saw Macey & she is doing ok - sniffed food so that was a vast improvement on just compleatly ignoring it! Vet & staff on the whole just couldnt be nicer! Must get a thank you for them although nothing I say would be enough...

In_Search_Of_Me

Well looks like I'm talking to myself again Been a tough day in some ways. Yesterday I felt positive that I was doing the right thing, and still do deep down, but then my mum emails and says that she has talked to my aunt (wh she is staying with) and they think I should basically do a DMP. I dot feel I can because of my job but also feel that I got myself into this & should get myself out of it! Even if I did a DMP (which I wont!) it would still mean nearly a decade of debt misery while this way I can pay everything off in about 2 1/2 years. Plus with interest rates fluctuating so much it will mean that I'm constantly on edge - and on THE edge financially. Think in typing this that I've reconfirmed my decision. Thank goodness I carried on tidying and painted the front door! Taking ages to dry though! Have also tided my room and started to chuck stuff into piles (tip/car boot) and it looks a bit better already. I do need to carry on cleaning all week though as it's not that clean - 4 cats are a nightmare where housework is concerned! OK off to do the ironing! What fun...

lunar

sounds like you have been finding things really tough at the moment. im glad your cat is starting to get a bit better. dont envy you on the ironing front i did about 3 hours the other day and i hated it!

have you definatly decided to sell and go to your mums? you should be proud to be making so much effort to clear your debts. I know how you feel about it being a long struggle, at least we all have each other for company.

hypno06

hi FF, not sure how I have managed to miss your last few posts.

I know what you mean about being on a wheel never getting anywhere because I feel the same way too. I have finally posted my SOA today (only took me 10 months!!) and am feeling very much that I am going one step forward, two back.

I really do hope that your decision helps you to sleep - remember your health is so so important xx

taxi73

Afternoon FF...sorry I haven't been about for the last few days(had flu)...glad to see cat is getting better.It seems like you've got your mind set on selling your flat ..good luck with that if thats what you want...and at least you'll be able to pay your debts off quicker...so you'll be living with your mum and aunt then?

In_Search_Of_Me

Hi there, Thanks for those and it's always good to know you're not alone. No would be living with my mum and after travel (accross the bridge!) of 84 miles return I recon could put 1000+ a month at the debt. The only thing that will scupper it is if I cant get enough for the flat. Mum is staying with my aunt in Australia and emailed from there (email awful form of communication at times like this!) and aunt/husband think I should do a DMP rather than sell the flat. I am pretty much set on selling though as just dont think the worry is worth it for the next 7 years! This way I could pay the lot off quickly and then start afresh in about 2 years. I'm not saying it's not going to be tough cos it is but the relief at being debt free will be worth every moment of upset in my book. I do feel a sence of failure moving home at the age of 38 but not enough to make me not want to do it. I actually think it will be nice to spend time with my mum; we are very close and get on well, athough I know I will struggle with her being untidy! Thanks for the replies - I have just been feeling very alone in all this and the lack of reponse was difficult! Hypno will go and have a look at your SOA...depressing arent they! Doing mine again just confirmed my decision really! Fingers crossed that I get enough for the flat though! Off to hunt for tips on house selling as I have no clue on these things! Anyone ot any advice to offer?

taxi73

If you are set on selling then that is obviously the right thing to do for you.I'm sure it will be worth the little bit of upset as you say...and you'll get peace of mind and company so it all sounds good to me and like you say you'll be debt free in a couple of years....
Another thought..if you are struggling to sell the flat ...could you still move in with your mum and rent the flat out?