Getting really frustrated with DH being overweight

bluenoseam

I know up here all the major football clubs launched an initiative recently to help fans with weight loss & all the associated things (diet, exercise, health). Could be an idea particularly if DH is of that persuasion to check out and see if the local clubs are running similar sorts of schemes.

Ultimately though it's all about finding a reason to do it and making a change, I know I got a shock when I hit 100kg and did something about it but not everyone's as easy to get into it as that.

tesuhoha

paulineb wrote: »

I thought that the non fast days when people are intermittent fasting were still supposed to be healthy? I know some people call them feast days, but Ive also seen people say that many people have interpreted the not fasting days as to be stuff yourself full of food

My concern about him doing intermittent fasting would be, would he have the willpower even to do a fast day? And following his usual diet for the rest of the time, going by what he's eating at the moment would still be unhealthy

He might see weight loss/drop in body fat percentage, but I think he also needs some nutrition advice as well.

I've lost weight very successfully on the 5:2 diet. I'm one of its biggest advocates but caution is necessary. My daughter tried it and she reacted to it by becoming a binge eater. She couldn't handle the fast days and not everyone can.

Sometimes eating in excess can be caused by sporadic dieting. If this gentleman has tried to lose weight and has then put it back on, maybe his dieting attempts were too excessive. If he felt terribly hungry all the time then he was bound to fail and maybe binge to make up for the food deprivation. I think the answer lies somewhere along the lines of intuitive eating. Eat when hungry and when tempted to binge listen to your body. If you do succumb to temptation make a note of how that food makes you feel.

However, you have to be motivated to try that and that is the problem here, the lack of motivation. I think if he ate when hungry and then stopped when satisfied and knew that no food was banned, then he might be able to handle that.

Thin people don't diet. They eat that way and they don't think about food. If they overindulge they wait until they are hungry again. It takes no willpower. Its the way to go if you can't cope with diets. Personally, I like the health benefits of the 5:2 but its not for everyone.

dandy-candy

He did see the GP about his knee and she sent a referral letter to the local hospital. After 2 weeks we hadn't heard so I rang and they said it takes 6 weeks to get a reply, and the actually appointment could be months after that!
Tbh I don't think fasting will work as I'm sure he fibs about what he eats during the day. He comes home saying he just had an apple or a portion of rice, but when I get in his van I find discarded McDonald's bags.
He was told he had high cholesterol about 8 years ago and put on Statins which he see's as a way to keep eating rubbish because the pills will take care of any problems! He was referred to a diet clinic and didn't go again after the first appointment. He also had to have a heart or blood pressure thing fitted once for 24hrs a few years ago. Every time the Drs have said he must lose weight and I would have thought these would have scared him into facing up to doing something but it doesn't. I honestly think it would take a heart attack or stroke for him to actually admit something needs to be done, but what sort of idiot waits for that to happen?

Prothet_of_Doom

Just buy more life insurance, and explain to him why.

Go on a diet yourself and get him to help you. I can't have cakes, and sugar and temptation in the house, and I need someone to go swimming with me. Make him believe that he's doing it for you.

bagpussbear

Are there any other family members or good friends of his that he might listen to? Has anyone else mentioned his weight to him at all?

Ultimately only he can summon that inner motivation to lose weight, and how he sees himself is obviously not how others see him, so it's a difficult one given you buy only healthy things, and then he drives off to supermarket to undo that, that's just wilful so can understand your frustration.

paulineb_2

dandy-candy wrote: »

He did see the GP about his knee and she sent a referral letter to the local hospital. After 2 weeks we hadn't heard so I rang and they said it takes 6 weeks to get a reply, and the actually appointment could be months after that!
Tbh I don't think fasting will work as I'm sure he fibs about what he eats during the day. He comes home saying he just had an apple or a portion of rice, but when I get in his van I find discarded McDonald's bags.
He was told he had high cholesterol about 8 years ago and put on Statins which he see's as a way to keep eating rubbish because the pills will take care of any problems! He was referred to a diet clinic and didn't go again after the first appointment. He also had to have a heart or blood pressure thing fitted once for 24hrs a few years ago. Every time the Drs have said he must lose weight and I would have thought these would have scared him into facing up to doing something but it doesn't. I honestly think it would take a heart attack or stroke for him to actually admit something needs to be done, but what sort of idiot waits for that to happen?

Hes doing absolutely nothing to help himself. I think you have your work cut out.

onlyroz

tesuhoha wrote: »

Thin people don't diet. They eat that way and they don't think about food. If they overindulge they wait until they are hungry again. It takes no willpower. Its the way to go if you can't cope with diets. Personally, I like the health benefits of the 5:2 but its not for everyone.

This is not true. I'm "thin" but have to work extremely hard to stay this way. I could eat whatever I liked up until the age of 30, and then gradually I put on about two stone because I maintained the same eating habits. I've now started taking much more care over what I eat, and I try to stick to 1-2 fasting days each week, and I'm now close to my old weight again. But it certainly takes a lot of will power to aovid the temptation to snack all the time.

tesuhoha

dandy-candy wrote: »

He did see the GP about his knee and she sent a referral letter to the local hospital. After 2 weeks we hadn't heard so I rang and they said it takes 6 weeks to get a reply, and the actually appointment could be months after that!
Tbh I don't think fasting will work as I'm sure he fibs about what he eats during the day. He comes home saying he just had an apple or a portion of rice, but when I get in his van I find discarded McDonald's bags.
He was told he had high cholesterol about 8 years ago and put on Statins which he see's as a way to keep eating rubbish because the pills will take care of any problems! He was referred to a diet clinic and didn't go again after the first appointment. He also had to have a heart or blood pressure thing fitted once for 24hrs a few years ago. Every time the Drs have said he must lose weight and I would have thought these would have scared him into facing up to doing something but it doesn't. I honestly think it would take a heart attack or stroke for him to actually admit something needs to be done, but what sort of idiot waits for that to happen?

I think he's shown you that he can't diet. As in my post above try suggesting he tries a bit of intuitive eating. Let him eat McDonalds but tell him to stop once he starts feeling a bit full and throw the rest away. Tell him he can have any food he wants but suggest that he asks himself if he is really hungry before he eats it. If he is hungry then fine he can have it. Tell him to listen to his body and what it wants, not to his head.

His body does not want him to be fat but his brain looks at all those sweets, cream cakes etc and wants them. Therefore he should listen to how his body is feeling and if it is feeling lousy then maybe he won't want that extra bar of chocolate etc.

onlyroz

paulineb wrote: »

Swimming twice a week probably won't get the weight off quickly even if he cleans up his diet, but its a start. His knee shouldn't stop him from swimming, the water bears his weight and he's not having to put any weight on the sore knee but if you are concerned then he should see a GP to give him the all clear from exercise.

Exercise is for health, really, rather than weight loss. And I agree that swimming should be OK with bad knees. I go once a week and there's a man there who must have some sort of problem with his legs/knees because I can see that he swims with just his arms.

paulineb_2

I know some thin people who have absolutely shocking diets and lifestyles, certainly not healthy at all.