Depression Support Thread

slowlyfading

feelinggood, I'm sorry to hear that you cut on friday. is it a lot? Make sure you've cleaned them all properly. Did something happen on friday that make you tip over the edge?
Sending you huge ((HUGS))
sf x x

feelinggood_2

slowlyfading wrote: »

feelinggood, I'm sorry to hear that you cut on friday. is it a lot? Make sure you've cleaned them all properly. Did something happen on friday that make you tip over the edge?
Sending you huge ((HUGS))
sf x x

The cuts aren't bad - I've never cut deeply - I'd never want to have to get medical treatment, so I'm careful to only do what I know can heal by itself. I'm pretty meticulous with it all.

Things have just been spiralling downwards. Its the hopeless and helpless feeling that I don't like. There is nothing I can do until I get my appointment letter through the post for the pyschiartist. Not sure what I'm supposed to do for the 4-8 weeks till I get that.

I had an emergency appointment at the doctors, and I begged for help, but she said that I couldn't have any more diazepam She couldn't speed up my referal or do anything. I couldn't cope with how I felt. It was either eat, drink or cut. Cutting is the easiest to hide, so I did that :-/

Just got to try and figure out a better way of coping till I get my appointment, but I can't think of anything :-/ Just got to hope I don't get that low again I suppose.

slowlyfading

dawnylou, I'm so sorry you felt so low. If the doctor says you can't have any more diazepam, maybe that's for the best? Do you see a counsellor or anything? ((HUGS)) hang in there chick x x

consnmattsmom

:hello: everyone

I am feeling in a very good mood today, done all of my housework (well apart from the dusting will get back to that later). Had a good weekend really, had a relaxing Saturday. Went to a car boot sale yesterday and then to work.

Great big hugs to FG - Sorry to hear that you have been cutting again. Its not good when you cant get the help you need. Is there a counselling group that you can ring? ie Samaritans just for a chat until your appointment comes through. Sorry if thats not helpful but I am not good with advice really just thought of it as a suggestion. Its a great achievement though for you to have kept away from the drink even when you have felt so low. Hope you start to feel better soon chick. xxx

Miro - Well done on your post it must of been very difficult. Hugs to you too. Hope you are ok today.

Dawny - Sorry to hear you have been feeling really down today. Have you had chance for a rest? Do you feel better now? Have you tried having a nice relaxing bath for half an hour. That always makes me feel better. Maybe its worth a try.

Katie glad to hear that your headache has gone. Have fun watching your new dvd.

SF hope that you are ok and on the up now. Sorry to hear you were down at the end of last week but hope you have had a good weekend with friends.

To anyone else ethel,bmf,tiff,ilgd and anyone else I have missed (apologies) I hope you have a good day.

TTFN. XX

feelinggood_2

Will hopefully get a referal to a counsellor or a therapist or someone after getting a diagnosis when I get to see the pyschiartist in a while.

I was hoping to go private, but can't do that now OH has changed jobs Hopefully in about 6-12 months we'll be able to afford for me to see someone.

Sometimes it feels like no one wants to help, and they are actually hoping that I'll just get things over and done with and leave them in peace :-/

The doctor gave me some diazepam the week before, and that really helped. I know its not a long term solution, but surely taking a prescribed and monitored dose of something is better than drinking/cutting? I'd have thought so anyway :-/

On a positive note, I feel so awful anyway, that I haven't noticed the discontinuation symptoms after cutting down/stopping the antidepressants. I don't have any heartburn medication left, so I can't take the antidepressants anymore.

The drink thing is very annoying. I know that if I start drinking again, chances are it'll kill me. Only problem is that seems more appealling that living without it :-/ I desperately need something to get me through each day, only problem is there isn't anything healthy :-/

consnmattsmom

feelinggood wrote: »

Will hopefully get a referal to a counsellor or a therapist or someone after getting a diagnosis when I get to see the pyschiartist in a while.

I was hoping to go private, but can't do that now OH has changed jobs Hopefully in about 6-12 months we'll be able to afford for me to see someone.

Sometimes it feels like no one wants to help, and they are actually hoping that I'll just get things over and done with and leave them in peace :-/

The doctor gave me some diazepam the week before, and that really helped. I know its not a long term solution, but surely taking a prescribed and monitored dose of something is better than drinking/cutting? I'd have thought so anyway :-/

On a positive note, I feel so awful anyway, that I haven't noticed the discontinuation symptoms after cutting down/stopping the antidepressants. I don't have any heartburn medication left, so I can't take the antidepressants anymore.

The drink thing is very annoying. I know that if I start drinking again, chances are it'll kill me. Only problem is that seems more appealling that living without it :-/ I desperately need something to get me through each day, only problem is there isn't anything healthy :-/

Oh FG I wish I had the answers to all your problems. It must be so awful for you but I know that the people you see do want to help you and certainly wouldnt want you to "get things over and done with" although that is how it must feel to you.

How do you spend each day? Sorry if you have said previously. Do you have any nice things that you do? Do you leave the house? Is there anything that you look forward to?

Big hugs and sending some positive thoughts your way.

feelinggood_2

consnmattsmom wrote: »

Oh FG I wish I had the answers to all your problems. It must be so awful for you but I know that the people you see do want to help you and certainly wouldnt want you to "get things over and done with" although that is how it must feel to you.

How do you spend each day? Sorry if you have said previously. Do you have any nice things that you do? Do you leave the house? Is there anything that you look forward to?

Big hugs and sending some positive thoughts your way.

Thanks for your reply.

I don't really do much. I spend most of the day trying to work up the energy to do the housework and washing and stuff. Most evenings I go to an AA meeting. I'm managing with the housework and cooking at the moment, which is good.

I don't really look forward to much, and there is nothing I particularly want to do. I look forward to bedtime, I think most of my day is spent killing time till I can go to sleep.

I do try and do what I'm suppose to - wash, dress, read, eat healthily, keep the house clean, watch TV, try and go outside, walk etc. I'm doing it, its just not helping. I just wish I had a date for my appointment, that'd give me something to focus on - I hate not knowing how long I've got to suffer for.

Horasio

I eventually went off to sleep but I feel so low. I had a lovely afterglow until my OH wrecked it. We had a big row last night and I drank a lot of whisky to try and numb the misery.

It's bad enough coming back to a miserable place but when someone who is supposed to care keeps spoiling nice events, it makes everything unbearable.

I am free to leave but indecision about where to go is stopping me. I don't want to be near my mother, as she is a control freak. Sometimes she is lovely but then switches out of the blue and humiliates me. My OH shouts at me and chips away at me till I snap or be distant when I feel it is safe to be close. I feel mentally abused by people who say they care, so I find it difficult to trust people.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote: »

Thanks for your reply.

I don't really do much. I spend most of the day trying to work up the energy to do the housework and washing and stuff. Most evenings I go to an AA meeting. I'm managing with the housework and cooking at the moment, which is good.

I don't really look forward to much, and there is nothing I particularly want to do. I look forward to bedtime, I think most of my day is spent killing time till I can go to sleep.

I do try and do what I'm suppose to - wash, dress, read, eat healthily, keep the house clean, watch TV, try and go outside, walk etc. I'm doing it, its just not helping. I just wish I had a date for my appointment, that'd give me something to focus on - I hate not knowing how long I've got to suffer for.

Does your OH do anything around the house? For me doing ALL the housework would depress me.

I know he works FT but if you did, I bet he would still leave it to you - mine did despite promising he would, and I had my hormonal illness to cope with and he was a pig when I suffered - got no understanding - fit into his mould and God help me if I deviated, yet he kept claiming he cared and loved me.

Horasio

feelinggood wrote: »

Will hopefully get a referal to a counsellor or a therapist or someone after getting a diagnosis when I get to see the pyschiartist in a while.

I was hoping to go private, but can't do that now OH has changed jobs Hopefully in about 6-12 months we'll be able to afford for me to see someone.

Sometimes it feels like no one wants to help, and they are actually hoping that I'll just get things over and done with and leave them in peace :-/

The doctor gave me some diazepam the week before, and that really helped. I know its not a long term solution, but surely taking a prescribed and monitored dose of something is better than drinking/cutting? I'd have thought so anyway :-/

On a positive note, I feel so awful anyway, that I haven't noticed the discontinuation symptoms after cutting down/stopping the antidepressants. I don't have any heartburn medication left, so I can't take the antidepressants anymore.

The drink thing is very annoying. I know that if I start drinking again, chances are it'll kill me. Only problem is that seems more appealling that living without it :-/ I desperately need something to get me through each day, only problem is there isn't anything healthy :-/

I have had some useless counsellors and some very good ones, you have to keep trying. It took me 30 years to sort my hormones out but I still have issues about how I was treated by people who claimed they cared and are still vile to me when I am tired or under the weather for more everyday reasons.

What you sound to need is someone you can trust, who isn't going to hurt you or let you down when you need it. In my experience, eating or drinking mood altering items to cope is only temporary and is a coping mechanism to fit in with the people around you and hide who you are, so you don't get hurt and be able to cope (hope that doesn't sound too harsh - I am talking about why I overeat and drink)