Depression Support Thread

betterlatethannever

ok have set my alarm for 7.45..i know i will hit snooze hundreds of times, then switch it off, but i may make it out of bed and dressed by 10....then a long walk along beach. I promise.. i think....
I love walking in the dark, but then i live in a very safe area, and i'm much more scary than anything i might meet on the streets...

Miroslav

dawnylou wrote: »

Haha. Well I will be up at half six with Fiance when he gets up for work.
I don't get to lie in as the pups cry so I usually go down and lie on the couch all day, but tomorrow will be different.
Well I'm off. I'm tired.

Hope everyone sleeps well x

6.30 :eek: _pale_

My cats just lie on my bed or elsewhere in my room and then when I wake up surround me for attention and let me know it's breakfast :rotfl:

I think I may go shave my face :rotfl: Start the looking after myself early

Miroslav

betterlatethannever wrote: »

ok have set my alarm for 7.45..i know i will hit snooze hundreds of times, then switch it off, but i may make it out of bed and dressed by 10....then a long walk along beach. I promise.. i think....
I love walking in the dark, but then i live in a very safe area, and i'm much more scary than anything i might meet on the streets...

7.45 :eek: :eek:

I'm 6'9 and a former bodybuilder and I don't go out at night - I still workout at home, but that's it but I don't like going out in the dark. My area is not that bad but these days I don't trust what could happen. I'll take anyone on if I had too, but these days you don't know what people are carrying and i've known people on the receiving end. I do go out in the dark sometimes, but I don't make a habit of it and certainly not for just a stroll.


Others don't start anything with me, but my town is rough at night, even if my area is not - it is a main route for the late night louts though :rolleyes:

Miroslav

Okay, I done the shave and i'm in pain. I have really sensitive skin, which is one of the reasons why I hate shaving

The Nivea cream helps a little, but i'm always really sore after shaving

clipboard2

Hi there to my favourite Miro!

What's this? .....Age 31 and suffering a 5pm slump?
I diagnose a case of excessive lolling....and time on hands...

You are a talented young man and you should be working (IMHO)...

CB2X

P.S...Miro photo please (2nd request)

Miroslav

clipboard2 wrote: »

Hi there to my favourite Miro!

What's this? .....Age 31 and suffering a 5pm slump?
I diagnose a case of excessive lolling....and time on hands...

You are a talented young man and you should be working (IMHO)...

CB2X

P.S...Miro photo please (2nd request)

:rotfl:

It's excessive something When I was working, I was really fatigued there too and my GP put it down to depression.

I want to work, I guess i'm worried about things I'm a friendly chap, but if someone gets on my nerves and/or starts doing things they shouldn't (bullying other employees/stealing), I tend to do something about it and I get in trouble :rotfl: It's a confidence thing and recognising previous experiences and expecting them to rear their ugly heads again.

As for the photo, maybe when i'm more confident There is actually one of me on the web somewhere, doing the rounds, albeit from a few years ago, but i'm not letting anyone know where it is (not that I actually know now as the board shut down ) I'm sure it's somewhere

Miroslav

Okay, so whilst I am posting and tired, therefore with no concept of what I am writing, I shall post all of my goals. Until very recently, I rarely posted back here after some time away, so here goes...

1. I need to go to the GP. I have a problem that could require surgery, but it's in a delicate area Having been sexually abused when younger, it would take alot of courage to do and I don't have anyone to go with me or if I got to the hospital appointment (should GP say I need one) no-one to go with me there and be with me. It may sound silly, but when you've been the 'victim' of the above crime, you tend to be very withdrawn in certain situations, hence my lack of female involvement in my adult life. My flatmate and I aren't like friends in the way she would come to the hospital with me (I would her, but i'm alot more 'helpful') My GP before booked a hospital appointment for me before, but I chickened out, firstly because the thought of it made me poop myself, secondly, he had the same surname of my 'abuser' which kind of freaked me out more than a bit. Doing this will probably be the toughest thing I will have had to do in my already eventful life and until someone has experienced such a thing, they will never understand how much of you has been taken after it has happened. I'll probably never recover and never be ablke to have a proper relationship (hence a year ago when 'S' was on the scene, I had no idea how to play it so things didn't happen )I wish I had someone special to support me in these situations, but I guess I lost that chance nearly 16 years ago

2. Another physical problem - my teeth I have 3 that need sorting, but I fear the dentist and he tells me what I want done will cost £700! I don't have that sort of money I also need a 'free' extraction of a broken tooth at the back and I have a lump that my dentist refuses to do anything about (and all 4 dentists have suggested different solutions ) My fear has not been all my life - as a child I was fine, but after meeting a dentist as an adult who insisted on causing as much pain as possible and causing me major troubles (al the things I listed) I now have no trust in dentists.

3. Getting up/primed/exercise etc etc as described between myself and others earlier.

4. Job.....I really do want one, but it has to be the right one, or my frustrations will be evident and i'll just fail and be back at square one. I'm confident and full of fight one minute and the next, really depressed and defeatist. Everyone is amazed and say 'I don't believe that' when I say I have no confidence - shows you can't judge someone by how they look

5. I may be well toned etc etc, but I need to lose some of the belly i've added. No-one really notices as i'm tall, but I do notice

6. Debts - I keep putting them off - amazing how depression can stop you living I have to sort them, even if only token payments


7. The ultimate goal - to be happy. I hope to find someone one day that will be my equal and be mature, sensitive and fun. Someone to trust and care for. I know it may be too much to ask as it seems everyone I meet is messed up, immature or into drink/drugs etc etc (or all of it!) Where have all the nice, honest, decent young ladies gone

Not alot makes me happy these days and I see no future and feel I am living on borrowed time. My cats are 13 now and my flatmate will hopefully move on and be happy. I feel time is running out.

I'll stop there and maybe go to bed before I have chance to delete it all after regretting the post

Good luck to all tomorrow :wave:

impy78

I'm not depressed any more, I don't think. But I feel nothing. Like I'm on auto pilot. I feel totally detached from my emotions, not happy or sad.

I'd love to feel sad, but I'm just existing right now. I don't even cut any more, at least that made me feel something.

I am cutting people out of my life again, I can feel it happening, but feel powerless to do anything about it.

And I thought that I had sorted out my eating, I really did. I was on 300 calories a day and 20g of fat or less, but I keep eating things like cheese and drinking milk and alchohol. I am trying to replace chocolate with hot water, but I am failing so badly. I guess I just keep losing sight of the goal, I suppose.

I'm just disappointed with my apparent lack of focus, drive and self control. If I want to succeed, I need to just keep on pushing and pushing.

Oh who gives a !!!!

Horasio

Hey guys

Been away to New England USA and still on their time 9pm there just now.

Had great time, but rats I can't stand it here nor my husband. Had a right row with him and blame him for all the things that bother me. I want to scream at every chore and it's so bloody boring here. I should be thankful it's not the other place where I was bullied by the neighbours.

Some issues did crop up on the holiday, I CAN'T STAND BAD SERVICE!!! and I go into a major rage with the culprits. I feel humiliated by them and my OH for not sorting them out and when I do he undermines me. Some other issues with my OH cropped up too, at the moment I want to leave this place and him. It's not a winter house and the lease is up for renewal, can do shorter ones now but can't think where to go. I don't want to be near my mother, I feel humiliated by her too.

Most people were lovely btw but there are so many extremes, either they are brilliant or absolutely dreadful:eek:

I presume it is post holiday blues and jetlag but I'm so blooming miserable just now.

Horasio

impy78 wrote: »

I'm not depressed any more, I don't think. But I feel nothing. Like I'm on auto pilot. I feel totally detached from my emotions, not happy or sad.

I'd love to feel sad, but I'm just existing right now. I don't even cut any more, at least that made me feel something.

I am cutting people out of my life again, I can feel it happening, but feel powerless to do anything about it.

And I thought that I had sorted out my eating, I really did. I was on 300 calories a day and 20g of fat or less, but I keep eating things like cheese and drinking milk and alchohol. I am trying to replace chocolate with hot water, but I am failing so badly. I guess I just keep losing sight of the goal, I suppose.

I'm just disappointed with my apparent lack of focus, drive and self control. If I want to succeed, I need to just keep on pushing and pushing.

Oh who gives a !!!!

Hello, I'm not sure we have crossed paths but I have been a regular on here.

I understand how you feel and suffered some of what you say you do.

Re: direction in life. Do you have a pattern, like you are all enthusiastic then lose interest or when the going is tough you can't cope or are you around negative people who don't share your enthusiasm when you move forward?

I tend to cut people out when I feel low because I am scared of offending them and when I asked for help, I get aggro, so I tend to hole myself away, more so in the winter on the dark nights. The eating tends to alternate between mega binges or not bothering.