Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi guys!:hello:
It's dark outside and I know most of you may only just be getting reluctantly vertical - and then it hits you...

Here we go again guys!:rolleyes:
Wishing everyone a happy Monday (no, that's not a contradiction in terms!:D) and good luck to everyone who has something to face today.

Tiffbits time...:rolleyes: ...

katie - I hope you're feeling better angel - migraines are nasty critters. Take care hun.

sazzy - I'll have a little Tiffy word with your boss for making you work so hard!:eek:
I've got a feeling in my whiskers that blinky's going to propose, , so we'd better work fast on the hat fund - it'd be just like him to sneak off without us!:rolleyes: Thinking of you angel.

pc - have a great break in Lewis hun. Safe journeys.

cc - hope you enjoyed your break hun.

rose - where are you young lady? Hoping all is well.

ethel - how are you sweetheart? How's the status quo? Thinking of you.

bmf - will eagerly await tidings from your knees!;) Hope you're well hun.

To our new family members -

To everyone - I'm sending Tiffy hugs to all who need them and even those who don't.

I know some of us are in a tough spot atm, but don't forget, we're here for each other.:A
Sorry I haven't caught up with you all yet, but you know I will.:eek:
Look after yourselves guys - you really are special.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

dawnylou

Well despite getting really excited about everything I aimed to do today....

I am just a complete and utter failure for a human being.

I woke up around 4am and tosed and turned ages, and then got up at half six. So worn out that all I could do was cry. If only I could have a couple of decent nights sleep I am sure I would feel a little better. I did think I was starting to se an improvement on my new 'happypill' even my sister-in-law (to be) had commented on how they seemed to be working as although I wasn't happy, my mood had lifted enough for me to be like a normal person almost.

I am dressed, but not properly and I haven't been able to wash or brush my teeth. I did put all the rubbish off the kitchen benches into a bag and I washed half the dishes so I really have tried.
But I feel so exhausted that I am now already sitting on my big fat !!!! crying to myself like a stupid !!!!!!! baby.
I hate myself so much. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that all the people I love and care about the most have to suffer all because of me!!
I can't take it anymore!

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

Morning! Up early today because the postman buzzed me to say a package had arrived for me this morning and It was my dvd called Lady Jane I had ordered from Hmv.com I went to bed at 9.15pm last night as I didnt feel well My migraine has gone now thanks Tiffy,It was a really nasty headache and the paracetamols helped it to go had a sleep at home yesterday too and felt well the rest of the evening as I watched Home and Away the Horrors weekend


*hugs* to those that need one

Have a lovely day


love and light,

Katie xxx

geminilady

impy78 wrote: »

I'm not depressed any more, I don't think. But I feel nothing. Like I'm on auto pilot. I feel totally detached from my emotions, not happy or sad.

I'd love to feel sad, but I'm just existing right now. I don't even cut any more, at least that made me feel something.

I am cutting people out of my life again, I can feel it happening, but feel powerless to do anything about it.

And I thought that I had sorted out my eating, I really did. I was on 300 calories a day and 20g of fat or less, but I keep eating things like cheese and drinking milk and alchohol. I am trying to replace chocolate with hot water, but I am failing so badly. I guess I just keep losing sight of the goal, I suppose.

I'm just disappointed with my apparent lack of focus, drive and self control. If I want to succeed, I need to just keep on pushing and pushing.

Oh who gives a !!!!

Hi Imp.On this forum we ALL "give a !!!!"I only have a minute as i have a doctors apointment but felt i had to reply to your post.300 calories is not nearly enough to function on!!!!no wonder you are struggling.On a diet the least calories you should be having are 1000 and you would loose about 2 pound a week on that.

slowlyfading

:hello: everyone.
I've been for a run this morning at 7:30AM with a friend, so I feel all energised today I am going to try and go more often - I'm going to try and channel my self hate and urges to self harm into exercise and more positive things. dont know if its going to work, but its worth a try.
I was in such a bad mood last night - really down and upset but I didn't self harm or anything. I was just so disappointed in the day and why i can't just be normal. Everything I do is so screwed up at times. But I guess that's why I'm on this thread - I'm not normal.
((HUGS)) to those who want/need one.
sf x x

slowlyfading

Impy78, first off, just want to send you some big ((HUGS)). You are obviously feeling very low from your post, and I just want to talk about some things you've mentioned.
First off, I notice from your signiture that you are on a diet, but 300 calories a day? Sweetie, that's just not enough for anyone, diet or not, to survive on. The body needs at least 1000 calories a day or it goes into starvation mode and tries to store everything you do eat as fat just to survive. If you're on a diet, the reccommended is 1200 calories a day, and you will lose weight on that. I'm worried about you, that's just not enough in one day.
Second, never feel ashamed about posting on here - everyone's problems, however small or big, are problems for a reason. Everyone has a different perspective on the world, and we all have different problems to face, for whatever reason. This thread is here to get support when we might not get it elsewhere, and to generally feel that we are all not alone in our lives.
Keep that chin up chick, and keep posting here. We are all here to help each other, believe it or not.
sf x x

slowlyfading

dawnylou, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so down and miserable today.When you dont get enough sleep, everything in the day seems so much harder. Have you got any time today just to try and have a nap? Even half an hour's kip might do you the world of good.
Sending you ((HUGS)) and I hope you're feeling slightly better soon.
sf x x

slowlyfading

:hello: Tulip, hope you have a good day. I'm glad that you're feeling better and the migrane has gone
sf x x

Tiff_2

Hi miro!:hello:
Had to reply to your post miro.
I'm so proud of you. Your post took heart and courage and I'm glad you shared it with us.:T :A

As usual, I'm going to say that practical problems have a solution angel. If you can make a start correcting those practical issues, and I know that's hard miro, then they won't be on your list anymore and you're free to look at other issues you need help with.
I'm just going to jump right in, ok hun?:o

quote=Miroslav;
1. I need to go to the GP. I have a problem that could require surgery, but it's in a delicate area Having been sexually abused when younger, it would take alot of courage to do and I don't have anyone to go with me or if I got to the hospital appointment (should GP say I need one) no-one to go with me there and be with me. It may sound silly, but when you've been the 'victim' of the above crime, you tend to be very withdrawn in certain situations, hence my lack of female involvement in my adult life. My flatmate and I aren't like friends in the way she would come to the hospital with me (I would her, but i'm alot more 'helpful') My GP before booked a hospital appointment for me before, but I chickened out, firstly because the thought of it made me poop myself, secondly, he had the same surname of my 'abuser' which kind of freaked me out more than a bit. Doing this will probably be the toughest thing I will have had to do in my already eventful life and until someone has experienced such a thing, they will never understand how much of you has been taken after it has happened. I'll probably never recover and never be ablke to have a proper relationship (hence a year ago when 'S' was on the scene, I had no idea how to play it so things didn't happen )I wish I had someone special to support me in these situations, but I guess I lost that chance nearly 16 years ago
If nothing I say on this thread means anything to you miro sweetheart, PLEASE believe that all your feelings and reactions and fears to what has happened, are all completely natural.
I'm going to try and deal mostly with the practical things hun, as opposed to the mental health side of things, because there are options and knowing that might make you feel better hunnie.;)

You have explained this experience in more depth than you did before sweetheart and it sparked an idea or three...

1. Imho miro, you might want to call your local Victim Support. They have had specialized training for helping people who've been abused, sexually or otherwise, as well as other victims of crime.:T :A
They are very compassionate hun and sadly, will have seen it all before. So sweetie, if anyone can empathise with this trauma, they can.;) They would go to any appointments with you and even go so far as to make an appointment for you miro. It is completely free and confidential. You don't even have to have reported whoever abused you to the police angel - their focus is on helping you.
If you can find the same courage as it took to post all this, then give them a call angel. You shouldn't have to bear the physical issues of abuse hun, especially if there's something that can be done to help. If you find it hard to talk over the phone, they will do home visits, or even meet up somewhere else I believe.

2. Most gp's or hospitals have a Men's Wellness group. They set aside time to deal with only men and many men seem to prefer to go to a such a clinic. You could phone your surgery and ask if there's one in your area.

3. I hope you don't mind guys, but I took the liberty of going down into the Tiff archives :rolleyes: , and finding some links for any man who's in a similar situation. I'm not a professional and I haven't checked these sites out so please use your own careful judgement as always...

[SIZE=-1]Male Helpline Details [SIZE=-1]This is a line especially for male victims of sexual and domestic abuse, it provides an opportunity to talk in confidence and anonymously if you wish. ...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]www.victimsupport.org.uk/[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1]Victim Support Male Helpline (Helpline formale victims of domestic violence or sexual abuse), 0800 328 3623. [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]www.endthefear.co.uk/usefullinks[/SIZE]

Domestic Violence Advice & Support[SIZE=-1]Advice & Support for male victims of domestic violence and men in ... the National Domestic Violence Helpline, Victim Support, Terence Higgins Trust, GMFA, ...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]www.mensadviceline.org.uk/about-male.[/SIZE]

Rainbow Network [SIZE=-1]Male victims are being offered new information by a UK crime charity. Victim Support has produced its first leaflet to offer ...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]www.rainbownetwork.com/Health/[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1]Male Survivors [SIZE=-1]have until recently been the silent, unseen victims ...; often forgotten by the support ...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]www.aest.org.uk/survivors/male/ [/SIZE]

Survivors UK - Understanding childhood sexual abuse and male...[SIZE=-1] For over twenty years, we've been providing information, support and counselling for men [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]www.survivorsuk.org/ [/SIZE]



[/SIZE][/SIZE]2. Another physical problem - my teeth I have 3 that need sorting, but I fear the dentist and he tells me what I want done will cost £700! I don't have that sort of money I also need a 'free' extraction of a broken tooth at the back and I have a lump that my dentist refuses to do anything about (and all 4 dentists have suggested different solutions ) My fear has not been all my life - as a child I was fine, but after meeting a dentist as an adult who insisted on causing as much pain as possible and causing me major troubles (al the things I listed) I now have no trust in dentists.

Dentists!!!

Ditto miro!:eek:
You sound as though you're pushed from one to another.
Ask your gp to refer you to the local hospital for dental treatment and they may be able to help you better with your anxiety. They may be able to sedate you and do everything all at once. They have more options than your local dentist & I'm pretty sure it would be free on the NHS.

Also guys, if you ever find yourself in dental agony out of hours, there is an on-call dentist available through your local A&E.;)



3. Getting up/primed/exercise etc etc as described between myself and others earlier.
Tiff can put her paw up to that one too hun.:o It's something that we have to make ourselves do because it's very common with mental ill health.
Lack of sleep, exercise, food and drink can really badly affect your mental ill health. Hard to believe, but true. So, it's a step in a basic routine as much as we can guys. I cheat though - I count my time on here as exercise!:D :rolleyes:



4. Job.....I really do want one, but it has to be the right one, or my frustrations will be evident and i'll just fail and be back at square one. I'm confident and full of fight one minute and the next, really depressed and defeatist. Everyone is amazed and say 'I don't believe that' when I say I have no confidence - shows you can't judge someone by how they look
One hurdle at a time hunnie. You're right to be aware of your own feelings miro and to err on the side of caution, but you're not necessarily going to fail.;)
I believe your local Connexions can help find the right jobs/training/info for people with mental ill health.
Here again, are some sites for anyone to check out - I haven't seen them myself. Hope they're helpful guys.

www.mentalhealthandwork.co.uk/

www.rethink.org/.../make_a_fresh_start/getting_the_right_benefits_and_getting_work/schemes_to_help.html

[SIZE=-1]www.mind.org.uk/Information/Factsheets/Working+in+mental+health/ [/SIZE]


Mental Health & Work - Help and Information[SIZE=-1](if you do find work too stressful remember that people with mental health needs are covered by the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA) and that you are ...[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]www.mentalhealthandwork.co.uk/why.htm[/SIZE]


http://www.opportunities.org.uk

http://www.shaw-trust.org.uk



5. I may be well toned etc etc, but I need to lose some of the belly i've added. No-one really notices as i'm tall, but I do notice
This will come back to you hun, when you feel well enough to deal with it. Don't feel bad about it - we've all got something we'd like to change.;)
A passing kangaroo was looking at my tummy the other day - she had her heavy joey in her pouch and she gave me a really jealous look!:eek:
Eureka! I could get work as a mobile roo nursery!:rotfl:


6. Debts - I keep putting them off - amazing how depression can stop you living I have to sort them, even if only token payments
I'm sure you know that if you gather all the bills together angel, CAB will negotiate that for you or with you.;)


7. The ultimate goal - to be happy. I hope to find someone one day that will be my equal and be mature, sensitive and fun. Someone to trust and care for. I know it may be too much to ask as it seems everyone I meet is messed up, immature or into drink/drugs etc etc (or all of it!) Where have all the nice, honest, decent young ladies gone
I was here about 20 years ago hun!:D :rolleyes:
It's the same for all of us angel - we all want those things. Just because someone has mental ill health, it doesn't mean that they can't love the same as - if not better! - than anyone else. But the good guys - and gals - are out there!;)

Not alot makes me happy these days and I see no future and feel I am living on borrowed time. My cats are 13 now and my flatmate will hopefully move on and be happy. I feel time is running out.
I'll stop there and maybe go to bed before I have chance to delete it all after regretting the post
Good luck to all tomorrow :wave:/quote
Your time isn't up yet hun and good times will find us to balance out the equation.


You don't ever have to regret what you post here miro.;)

You posted with clarity and dignity and there's more than one of us who can identify with one, some or all of these issues. You should feel proud of yourself and no-one will think any the less of you, for what you've posted.:T :A




Right - I'm off before the forum police charge me with ''littering with intent'' on the thread again! :cool:
Need a catnap -and 'nip' - now.:rolleyes: Talk later guys.;)
Take care miro. Thinking of you hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

feelinggood_2

Morning all.

Sad to say that I cut on Friday :-/ Something was going to give, and that seemed to be the most sensible option. I'm hoping I'll not do it again, that is was just a small lapse. I've also been feeling a bit worse for wear after taking a few too many sleeping tablets. No damage done, just feel even more exhausted.

Thanks for all the support.