People Judge Me for my Wedding, but I Love It

tillyenna

animalhouse wrote: »

I'm lurking and really enjoying this thread.

I tried to please DH's family by letting MIL dictate who was to be invited (loads of people we hadn't met before, and haven't seen since), and to go with her requirements to have a very traditional wedding, reception and evening do. It cost an absolute fortune and was a train wreck of a day.

DH and family (apart from MIL, who told friends of ours it was the worst wedding she had ever been to) remember a great day, but every time I remember our wedding day I just remember the stress.

Still we've been married for 22 years now, so it really is what comes after that's counts.

The great thing about this thread is that you are all standing up for what you want and will inspire others to do the same. It's lovely to read about so many beautiful days past and future.

AWw animalhouse. I'm pretty sad you got bullied into having a not-perfect day. You know what you should do? Have a party for your 25th anniversary, and make it be YOUR PERFECT WEDDING DAY. Because shucks to everyone else - you deserve your perfect day. Also parties are fun.




Talking of perfect days: THE BOUNCY CASTLE IS BOOKED. I am actually really chilled now, as its the only part of the wedding I REALLY cared about (apart from the groom, obviously I care about him). Then my work colleague tried to persuade me that I should get a candy floss cart and I got SUPER EXCITED because that would be awesome. And then I saw how much candy floss carts cost. And I decided it wouldn't be awesome after all.


The Boss has been persuaded on the lollipop bouquets (although not on the glitter tattoo artist, but I'm willing to concede on that one, it's all about compromise).

animalhouse

Brilliant idea! Excellent!

Well done on the bouncy castle - you are in for a wonderful day!

Stephb1986_2

What can I get the witnesses as presents? both male one drinks the other doesn't help!!!

tillyenna

Whatever they'd like? I'm going to get the bestman something superman themed, because he loves superman. Something that is meaningful to you and them? I'll probably end up getting my witness something warhammery, because he likes warhammer.


I think the only people who will get 'traditional' gifts, are my mother and my MIL, who will both get samplers - because I know they'd like them. Other than that I think we'll probably just try and get individual things for people as a thank-you.

redboots26

Loving this thread!

I got married last August and had a very non-traditional wedding.

We had a bouncy castle, rodeo bull and crossbows! We married at 4 and had the ceremony and reception at the same place to save on travelling. My dress was a vintage 80's Laura Ashley sundress from eBay and cost £45. We had a buffet instead of a sit down meal and a Cake Table, with cakes made by friends, family and myself.

No favours, no flowers (although my sister had a mad dash round the market on the morning of the wedding, insisting that I needed SOMETHING to hold!), no bridesmaids or ushers, no wedding car - we all piled into a mini bus from the local taxi company No wedding ring - my engagement ring is the only ring for me. No 'professional' hair and make up - I wanted to look like myself on my wedding day. No professional photographer - we had friends and family take pictures, with one friend as the 'main' photographer.

Our wedding was epic! Luckily our family and friends were all supportive, though I think OH's dad wished things had been a bit more traditional.

My advice is to decide on what's important to you and do it your way. Sod what anyone else thinks!

thriftyemma

When I married me now ex-husband, I let my mother dictate so much of it.

I had picked out a gorgeous wedding dress, with pink beading. My mother came to see it, said it wasn't traditional enough, and picked out a different dress. She was paying so I didn't have the courage to say no.

The wedding was in the church of the town where my mother lived, neither me or the groom lived there!

The gents had top hats and tails, because even though they looked daft and felt uncomfortable, that's what my mother wanted.

We had the reception at the local golf club. It was a rather unattractive place, but my mother said it was traditional.

My mother invited loads of her friends, more than me, I barely knew any of them, and have never spoken to them since.

My mother insisted we have chicken for the wedding breakfast cause 'everyone likes chicken'. It was the dullest, most insipid meal I have ever had.

The DJ we booked never showed up. My mother burst in to tears, and told me to go home because the day was over. Thankfully a friend had a mp3 player, and linked it up to the PA system.

All in all, I hated the day. My mother got one thing right though. She never liked my groom, and our marriage lasted less than 4 years (he was an abusive tw*t, but that's another story).

Rant over! If me and my OH ever get married (and yes I want to, one day) it will be all about us and our children!

Good luck to everyone planning their wedding, I hope it's a special and personal as you dreamed.

Dark_Star

Hi Darkstar- how did the bouncy castle for grown ups go down? I'm really trying to convince my OH that it's a good idea but he's a bit skeptical. I know my lot will be all over it like a rash so wondered how much use yours got on the day!?


We even had official wedding photos taken on the bouncy castle; kids hardly got a look in! It was brilliant, go for it Adults had a fab time...

Katie122

tillyenna wrote: »

So, reading through the threads here, I figure there's quite a few of us that are having 'alternative weddings' y'know, the kind of weddings where we tell people what we're doing, and they have a right old laugh and then say "No really, what are you actually going to do?" the kind of weddings where people say "You mean you're not having XYZ? But you CAN'T do that for a wedding"


And you're just reply with: "My wedding is going to be ACE"


So, 'alternative wedding ideas' what are people doing that make vogue-style brides go all "judgeyface", or what DID you do? Or, if you are only planning your hypothetical wedding at the moment, what are you planning?

We had a pretty normal wedding, but I think being snide or putting people down for having the kind of wedding they want - even if it is a bit strange - is silly and downright stupid. Celebrate the wackiness of how people want to conduct the ceremony/day after which they will be joined for life! Don't try to suppress it.

tillyenna

The subject of honeymoons has just come up on another thread - so I thought I'd share our honeymoon plans here, as again, we're falling into the unconventional category.


How? You ask. Are you going backpacking through the Amazon? Are you visiting all the wonders of the world?


No. We're taking the week after the wedding off work. Going home. Locking the door. And staying there. And not seeing ANYONE. It's going to be bliss ;-D

redfragglebiker

Dark_Star wrote: »

Hi Darkstar- how did the bouncy castle for grown ups go down? I'm really trying to convince my OH that it's a good idea but he's a bit skeptical. I know my lot will be all over it like a rash so wondered how much use yours got on the day!?


We even had official wedding photos taken on the bouncy castle; kids hardly got a look in! It was brilliant, go for it Adults had a fab time...

Hurrah - I might just have to show him the amount of people having bouncy castles on this thread I'm having a fairly traditional dress and plan to get up and have a good bounce, dress n all!