People Judge Me for my Wedding, but I Love It

firebird082

Oooh, I like this thread - lots of other people with slightly less traditional ideas! We got engaged last month, and are planning the wedding for next May. The wedding itself will be pretty traditional - I've always wanted a church wedding, and for my Dad to walk me down the aisle. It just wouldn't seem right doing it anywhere else.

The reception, however, we are looking at village halls, and want somewhere with outside space (preferably an actual garden type place) so we can have garden games and a bouncy castle (my Mum thinks that is a bit crazy, and it does depend on budget! Afternoon tea, hogroast and ceilidh ought to keep everyone happy. Mostly my mother is just worried that what we think of as "relaxed and fun" will turn out to be an epic amount of work for her! Not the intention, but trying to prove that it won't is so far proving difficult, since we haven't even found the right venue yet!

I would have loved to have a festival/glamping sort of affair, but htb is not so keen. Everyone I've talked about our plans to says it's "very us". I don't know what they mean :rotfl:

Gloomendoom

firebird082 wrote: »

Oooh, I like this thread - lots of other people with slightly less traditional ideas! We got engaged last month, and are planning the wedding for next May. The wedding itself will be pretty traditional - I've always wanted a church wedding, and for my Dad to walk me down the aisle. It just wouldn't seem right doing it anywhere else.

The reception, however, we are looking at village halls, and want somewhere with outside space (preferably an actual garden type place) so we can have garden games and a bouncy castle (my Mum thinks that is a bit crazy, and it does depend on budget! Afternoon tea, hogroast and ceilidh ought to keep everyone happy. Mostly my mother is just worried that what we think of as "relaxed and fun" will turn out to be an epic amount of work for her! Not the intention, but trying to prove that it won't is so far proving difficult, since we haven't even found the right venue yet!

I would have loved to have a festival/glamping sort of affair, but htb is not so keen. Everyone I've talked about our plans to says it's "very us". I don't know what they mean :rotfl:

Go for it. We did something similar. It was a big garden party type affair. No sit down meal just afternoon tea. Our guests contributed cakes and sandwiches so zero cost to us and there was absolutely mountains of it. We did hire in a hog roast for the evening and also a couple of staff to serve tea and clear away used plates and glasses. That way, mothers, aunts, sisters, random other people etc didn't feel the urge to do it.

We didn't have a bouncy castle but we had a pool which was very popular with the children as it was the hottest day of the year that summer. 30 degrees, if I remember correctly. We had "responsible adults" to take it in turns to supervise the children in the pool so that nobody drowned. It would probably be a good idea to do the same with a bouncy castle.

firebird082

Gloomendoom wrote: »

Go for it. We did something similar. It was a big garden party type affair. No sit down meal just afternoon tea. Our guests contributed cakes and sandwiches so zero cost to us and there was absolutely mountains of it. We did hire in a hog roast for the evening and also a couple of staff to serve tea and clear away used plates and glasses. That way, mothers, aunts, sisters, random other people etc didn't feel the urge to do it.

Did you have loads of people who offered cakes and sandwiches? I'm a bit afraid to ask our guests, as Mum has pointed out, it's pretty difficult for people who are already travelling a long way, or who aren't particularly practical in the kitchen! We were thinking of getting it catered, as the pricing is not ridiculous, and still considerably cheaper than a 'wedding breakfast' type thing.

Also interested to hear about hiring staff for serving and clearing - that's an excellent idea. How did you source them?

Gloomendoom

firebird082 wrote: »

Did you have loads of people who offered cakes and sandwiches? I'm a bit afraid to ask our guests, as Mum has pointed out, it's pretty difficult for people who are already travelling a long way, or who aren't particularly practical in the kitchen! We were thinking of getting it catered, as the pricing is not ridiculous, and still considerably cheaper than a 'wedding breakfast' type thing.

Also interested to hear about hiring staff for serving and clearing - that's an excellent idea. How did you source them?

Most of the guests that brought food were family. We are both lucky to have large families that are used to pitching in for family do's, so there was no shortage of willing volunteers even though some on my side had travelled hundreds of miles. One slight worry was that we only had a rough idea what people would bring, sweet or savoury. There was a definite bias towards cakes from the people travelling any distance as they travel better than sandwiches. If you get it catered, you will have much better control over what is available and probably a lot less food left over.

The staff were sourced through the chap that provided the hog roast.

It was all very relaxed. The wife of one of my friends thanked us before they went home the next day and added that she didn't realise that you could do weddings like ours. Theirs was a strictly conventional package wedding.

firebird082

Ah, yes, it's probably better for us to stick with catered then, to reduce the stress levels (immediate families are relatively small on both sides, HTB's are about as a far away as it's possible to get to the SW and NE!).

That's really useful, thanks Gloomendoom! (always good to know how these things worked out in practise for others).

Gloomendoom

You are welcome.

The other thing that I would add is that if you want people to use the outside space, then consider providing something for them to sit on. We put sofas at strategic positions around the grounds together with low tables with nibbles on them. We also hired in a load of folding chairs.

ellay864

Our wedding wasn't unconventional really but it was at a zoo. My mum nearly had a fit when she found that one out. We wrote our own vows, one of our guests wrote a gorgeous personal poem as a reading he gave, and one of our wedding songs (also our first dance) was a song my hubby wrote and recorded for me. It was personal, fun and emotional and had red pandas

steph2901

I've really enjoyed reading some of the wedding ideas here.

I'm getting married in six weeks and am having the wedding I want, or rather what my fiance and I both want

We've both been married before, and my first wedding was not the day I wanted at all, it may as well have been the ex MIL's day. But that's in the past, thank god!

I wouldn't say I'm having anything out of the ordinary, but I'm certainly not being dictated to or having what people tell me I should have! I'm keeping it within a tight budget as don't see the point in getting in a load of debt for just one day. It's the marriage that matters, not how much we spend on a wedding.

We're getting married in the registry office at 3.30
I'm wearing a purple dress (my favourite colour)
No bridesmaids
No sit down meal, just a buffet and DJ in a nice hotel overlooking the sea
No speeches
No toasts
No favours (what purpose do they have?)
No table plan, people can sit where they want
No wedding cars
No photographer, just asking people to take photos throughout the day/night
I'm making my own table decorations (YouTube has loads of ideas!)
Fake flower bouquet at a fraction of the cost of one from a florist (and looks amazing)
Chocolate and sponge cakes rather than fruit cake
We're not inviting relatives we never see, what's the point of that!

We want an informal day/night having fun with family and friends, and that's exactly what I'm hoping it will turn out to be.

stewby

Our wedding is kind of a mix of traditional and non-traditional stuff.

I hate being centre of attention and I didn't want to spend our wedding trying to introduce OH to my hundred relatives (yep, even the really obscure never knew they existed ones) so we have gone for something completely different to all other weddings we have ever known of...

We are having a weekend in a beautiful hall, OH calls it his castle. It just so happens that during the weekend with our family (18 at present but might change depending on births, etc) we will get married.


To be honest, I think our whole wedding is traditional except a couple of things:
* The venue.
* No wedding vehicle (we are taking our campervan to get pictures of it on our wedding day).
* No band (we are having an ipod full of cheesy pop).
* Fake flowers (means we can keep them forever).
* Our guest book is a giant bottle with scrolls.

Our two biggies are:
*No photographer. I hate getting my picture taken and seeing as there are only 18 of us, we might as well take pictures ourselves.
The two (so far) children coming to the wedding are getting digital cameras as part of their favours so we can get pictures from a kids viewpoint. They will both be seven years old.
We will also have a couple of other digital cameras just lying around plus I will have my own camera. I love taking pictures and want hundreds from our weekend.


* We are both quite immature so are having various things relating to our childhood.
We met over a glass cola bottle (long story) so are having these as table decorations with wind fans sitting in them.
:happyhear

So... yeah, maybe not as crazy and out-there as I initially thought but definitely our wedding.
It's going to be ACE.

shoppingnoodles

I'm loving reading this thread! Congratulations to all the happy couples.


Like Stewby, we HATE being the centre of attention. We are a 40 something couple and my OH did the big white wedding before. He hated it. Luckily, I don't think anyone will have "judgy face" and I don't care anyway if they do.


We love being with family, so that is what we wanted to model the wedding around. We have a favourite seaside town that hasn't really changed since the 1950's. My OH tracked down a guest house that rents out as a holiday house out of season. It has 10 bedrooms, a large dining room and we will have around 21 members of our family staying for the weekend.


We have lots of traditional seaside stuff planned for day 1 - penny arcades, crab fishing etc and have hired a row of beach huts (super cheap as its only just out of season in September) where we can have a simple buffet lunch made by me. In the evening we are taking everyone to the best fish and chip restaurant in town. I will be making beach hut bunting and macram! candle jars decorated with sand and shells for the guest house entrance, dining room and beach huts. My frock is a Lady V 50's style that cost £50. I love it. Guests have been told girls dress up (because we all want to), boys come as you are.


Our actual "ceremony" (the registry office thing being done very simply some weeks before with no guests, just witnesses), will be on the Sunday, with more friends attending for the day. No vows, no photographer, music by ipod. Everyone will gather at the beach huts (please be kind weather!) where we have biodegradable helium balloons for guests to tie a label to, having written a wish for us on it. A family member is writing / reciting a funny poem about us and we will all have a Pimms or two before going to a lovely restaurant overlooking the sea for Sunday lunch. To keep the cost down, we will have wedding cake (made by me) and cava (Sainsbury's 25% off 6 bottles offer) back at the beach huts instead of dessert.


We have had a plaque with our names and wedding date set into a plank on the pier. Printed postcards of us looking through a seaside cutout with clues how to find the plaque will keep everyone busy later on. The postcards cost £10, the plaque, which is permanent cost £80.


Really, it's a seaside holiday that happens to feature a wedding! In total I don't think it is costing much more than £3500.


I really hope our guests don't read this thread and I have ruined all our surprises!