Paying more than girlfriend into mortgage dilema

amnblog

freeman3030 wrote: »

I too haven't read the whole thread but can appreciate what the OP is saying as my partner and I were in a similar situation last year.
My partner pays the mortgage, insurances and council tax whereI pay the utility bills, but it's very much treated as 'our' home. If he were to say that I live in 'his' house, I would tell him That He's eating 'my' food and Using 'my' electric.

I am very good at decorating and DIY and renovated our home with my dad's help. Seeing as I pay out less, I then paid for our new bathroom which my dad fitted for us. Also (in my partners words) I've made our house a home. So even if I don't pay in financially for the ptoperty, I've helped add value and keep the house running. I don't know how things work in your relationship, but I cook, clean, do clothes washing etc. purely because I feel like I'm a financial burden on my partner and I appreciate that he pays out a lot. So my point is, even though she may not pay in as much as you, she may well be paying in her time for you which can often be overlooked. A relationship isn't a business and before you commit to buying a home together, commit to one and other first.

Good job you are not living with the OP. You'd be running up a bill.

Trying_to_be_good

My OH and I bought a house five years ago, already married. He earns more than I do, but had no savings (both married before, he with kids, me not). I put £300k deposit/equity into the house, with a further £300k mortgage, split 50:50. So, 75% of the house will be mine, and 25% when the mortgage is paid off.

I've continued to save in our offset, he's continued to spend. I've paid for all the major works on the house, plus have carried out all the renovation work when we've not used tradesmen, further increasing the house value. The plan is that he will start buying equity from me when he gets his pension lump sum and ongoing pension, and that will be my retirement income - I'm cash/equity rich now and he will be later.

He's being very difficult, despite my financially subsidising him for years (and him always earning more than me). If we split, I fully expect to split the equity so that I get 75% plus.

I think the OP is right to set out what each is putting in, and what would happen if it doesn't work.

terra_ferma

harrpau7 wrote: »

Not sure, I tried explaining to her that we could pay the mortgage off ten odd years early, then if the house was sold all the profit would be ours to split. So even if the £20,000 deposit I made and then the extra £40,000 came to me first, the rest would be be split evenly and no one would need to be paid anything back.

I think it's a bit sad that you make long term plans (mortgage, spanning at lest 10 years) with someone and yet you see yourself as a single individual protecting your own interests.
As soon as we started living together (when we knew it was a serious, long-term relationship) we started acting as a 'family' or as I see it, as a 'team', and an equal relationship. Over 14 years we have been taking it in turn to support the other person through rough times financially, and we have always contributed to joint finances according to our earnings.
If my partner had said something like what you are saying, I would have been out of that relationship as quickly as I could.

terra_ferma

Vikaroo wrote: »

I think this post is really quite sad.

My partner and I who are 27 and 23 have just finished saving for our house and were saving for 18 months. For 6 of those my partner was off as he has a spinal condition that at times can flare up so bad he can barely do a thing.

We are about to exchange contracts.

We earn different amounts I earn 21k while he earns around 15k except for when he is sick and only earns 300 a month statutory sick pay.

He is well now and our plan is to pay all our money into one account, pay all the bills and split whats left.

If he were to be ruled permenantly unfit for work then my wages would cover all the bills and we would have very little left but I would still view it as ours and not 'mine'. If we were to split he would get 50% regardless because I couldnt see him without and we are part of a team if u like and there is no I in team.

I personally think you are being very selfish. If you are comitted in a relationship you should be treated as equals. Old fashioned as that might be its old fashioned views that keep people together no wonder 40% of relationships fail if they all have views like yours.

I swear I had not read your post when I replied