Paying more than girlfriend into mortgage dilema

Leon_W

Great thread. I love these moral dilemmas !


I would say keep your savings separate. As soon as you start complicating things the way you are doing your girlfriends resentment will build until she leaves you anyway.


Seriously though do get an agreement of sorts drawn up as it will prevent problems if you should split. I have seen many a disaster because of relationship breakdowns.

Spangled

The offset mortgage route seems the best bet to me.

You save your monthly overpayments into the offset savings account which is in your sole name. You don't earn any interest on those savings but instead they offset against your overall mortgage, reducing the interest payable each month (a few pounds a month at first, but much more as your offset pot grows bigger by the year).

You can "sell" it to your GF thus: I'm not making any overpayments on the mortgage (cos you can't either) but I am allowing my savings pot to help reduce the interest payable, benefiting both of us and helping us pay off the mortgage earlier.

And if you do split before you are married then the savings pot is all yours. (If you do get married then it gets more complicated - seek legal advice.)

Good luck!

Matt_ftb

Far too many variables for something so long term.

What happens if you lose your job and she has to pick up your slack?
She gets a better job and out earns you?

With the exception of deposit money everything house based I'd put in a joint pot. There is nothing to stop you having a single savings account for yourself that you pay a little into.

Yes it will cost you more in interest (unless you offset) but you'll have a better relationship as a result. I know an awful lot of people would just refuse to live together if there partner suggested it.

bristol_pilot

I wear a seat belt even though I'm not intending to have an accident and am fully-commited to road safety.

It's almost always the weaker financial partner who pushes to live together or get married.

jackomdj

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Get an offset mortgage and offset it against a savings account in yur name only. Interest payment still down, cash is still yours.

I was thinking exactly the same thing. Also as an added benefit all your money will be reducing the interest, not just the £500.

Mr_F_Dorsetty

harrpau7 wrote: »

Hello,

Within the next 6 months I am going to get a mortgage (hopefully) with my girlfriend. I earn a lot more than my girlfriend and I want to get it paid off as quick as possible. Each month I am able to save about £500 and I want to use the vast majority of that to overpay on the mortgage (as much as I am allowed to) and eventually pay the mortgage off. However I want to know if I should cover myself against this in the unlikely event me and my girlfriend go our separate ways (I know I will receive some replies condemning me to hell for even suggesting such a thing).

I will be putting at least a £20,000 deposit down which my girlfriend is happy with me to have back if we go our separate ways and that will be written into the contract. I however want the mortgage paid off ASAP, doing some very rough sums on the above amount I am able to save each month to pay off early I would save about £35,000 in interest alone and pay the mortgage off at least ten years early, so it seems a good idea. But I want to cover myself against that too in case we go our separate ways, I wouldn't want to pay thousands extra off the mortgage for nothing if the worst should happen.

By posting this I know there will be contrasting personal views on this but I want to protect myself at the end of the day. If I was to pay an extra 30, 40 50 grand or so off the mortgage, am I not entitled to get that back IF the worst happened?

Thank you for reading what is a sensitive and touchy area at the moment.

Unfortunately money is practical, not emotional in reality and it doesn't have morals.

Within a week of meeting my wife, there has been 'our money' - she was studying and was in debt and skint, I was earning a fortune and had 7 figure savings... so within a month she had no debt, a debit card for my account and a new car plus I'd moved 250 miles to be with her 24/7 and support her. we were married in under 9 months.

Now a decade on I've gone from fully able and working to fully disabled and not working. My wife is now a Doctor not a student... so now she looks after me and cares for me as I am unable to work. That is how life should work, mate imo. In sickness and health, rich or poor... married or not imo, look after your partner, what you do to them defines you as a person.

But my advice to you is either:

* See a solicitor and get an agreement made up outlining what is what and what % at sale each should gain down to the last bean

OR

* Get married, end of issue... everyone gets half.

Other than that it'll tear you apart, because your view of money is different to hers I suspect and your obvious innate 'careful' attitude will get right up her nose sooner of later. Ultimately it looks to me like at a push you care more about money than your G/F... and I'd bet money you're an only child

It won't be this issue which will do for your relationship of course, it is always a little thing..

So before she realises she just hates the way you cook toast or eat crisps, make a decision - sort it and yourself out.

Ximian

I support the OP's point of view. Co-owning can get very complicated especially when each partner has different goals. I agree with the idea to keep your finances separate, and having an offset mortgage might be the best solution.

itsanne

harrpau7 wrote: »

We aren't having kids, marriage will happen in the future though.

will get married one day though.

Whatever you do to protect yourself at this stage, getting married will change things.

You're adamant about getting married in the future, so why not go ahead and do it now?

getmore4less

there are 2 basic ways to do this(or a combination)

A common one that is used is the interest free loan,

this is often known as the get your deposit back method.

This is equivalent to lending the OH 1/2 your deposit.
You could treat the overpayments in the same way, and using offsets as suggested is the same it works like an interests free loan

This does not work for all values of up or down some one always wins and the other looses but that may be an acceptable risk .

The other method is equitable shares.

Your deposit buys you share of the asset and your share of the debt buys other shares of the asset.

So in your case you just take on a bigger share of the debt and own a bigger bit of the property. OH gets a smaller payment. (you can now both overpay at the % you share the debt)

I guess that will not go down well with the GF

Okydoky25

harrpau7 wrote: »

I know, but we are both 100% we don't want kids, and precautions are taken (without getting too personal).

Neither of mine were accidents. Both were fully planned. My point was we both changed our minds and a lot has happened in a v short amount of time.