Paying more than girlfriend into mortgage dilema

BrassicWoman

Get an offset mortgage and offset it against a savings account in yur name only. Interest payment still down, cash is still yours.

harrpau7

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Get an offset mortgage and offset it against a savings account in yur name only. Interest payment still down, cash is still yours.

I know tres little about these, but it sounds very interesting, I will look into that, thanks!

[Deleted User]

Talk to your solicitor .. they'll know better than us lot... ask about a deed of trust

I had one to protect my £20k deposit (vs girlfriend's £0 deposit) in the event of the split - but that it became 1/2 hers when we got married. Dunno about how it works in an ongoing fashion - your mortgage is effectively going to be 50% you, 50% her, x% overpayments protected in your name

Maybe ask about a Cohabitation Agreement too

To be honest, when I moved in with my girlfriend, we just treated everything as 'ours' even though I was paying the full mortgage and a lot of the bills. Planning for if you split up is a bit sad I think

theEnd

BrassicWoman wrote: »

Get an offset mortgage and offset it against a savings account in yur name only. Interest payment still down, cash is still yours.

Seems a good idea.

Or just keep your money in separate savings. You'll always have the option to roll it in, but it keeps things simple.

harrpau7

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Talk to your solicitor .. they'll know better than us lot... ask about a deed of trust

I had one to protect my £20k deposit (vs girlfriend's £0 deposit) in the event of the split - but that it became 1/2 hers when we got married. Dunno about how it works in an ongoing fashion - your mortgage is effectively going to be 50% you, 50% her, x% overpayments protected in your name

Maybe ask about a Cohabitation Agreement too

To be honest, when I moved in with my girlfriend, we just treated everything as 'ours' even though I was paying the full mortgage and a lot of the bills. Planning for if you split up is a bit sad I think

First slightly personal comment with your last sentence, took longer than expected though .

I am not planning for if we split up, but if I am overpaying by such a big amount I want to protect my hard earned money, thats all. Relationships fail every day, I'm sure 99% of people will experience that at some point.

I work hard for my money, when I am in a relationship of course whats mine is her's and vice versa, but if the worst happens then my money then becomes mine alone.

wwtrend

I'm don't think you are ready for this commitment. Unless the decision not to have children relates to an inability by one or both of the partners then I can assure you that things change.

As someone has also said financial status will also become fluid you may through illness lose your earning capacity and hers may increase.
Are you going to spend time on your relationship marking down who bought what and who paid for the shopping during the relationship.

It is quite right you should ask and discuss these questions because finances is amongst the biggest reason for break ups so you both should know where the other is coming from.

In a committed relationship should you be considering looking at the income as joint. Working out how much you both need to undertake you work, travelling, lunches, business entertainment and treating the remainder as joint income as savings and for going out together.

As far as the property is concerned I understand the financial sense of paying off the mortgage quickly but what you are saying is I am putting more into the house so if we split I should get a bigger share of the principle and most valuable asset during the relationship.

I may be wrong but you seem the type who will also want to drive around in a top of the range car and be happy for the other half to be on the bus or in a reliant robin.

You are not treating your girlfriend as an equal partner in this relationship what she is putting in may equate to 70% of her earnings should you then not do the same despite that 70% will represent different amounts to each of you.

I understand what your gf is saying you have clearly very fixed and strong views on a number of issues which do whatever need to be resolved to the satisfaction of both of you or resentment will quickly build up and your relationship will be doomed before you start.

Whatever you decide I am in no doubt that a contract can be drawn up between you but when the relationship develops are you going to keep changing it? If you are intending to get married then the marriage may change the status of the agreement and you might need to redraft it. In my view the intricacies of your finances within the relationship
can only be discussed and agreed with one person, your gf. By the sounds of it you have already hurt her feelings as she doesn't have an equal interest in the property and feels like a tenant. Get a balance between you heart and your head and put yourself in her position or how you would feel if the earnings situation was reversed.

[Deleted User]

Yep, you can't have my good advice without also getting my opinion Heck, even my solicitor sticks his oar in on stuff like this

Here's the fun bit. What happens if 10 years passes, you've paid off your mortgage but you've never committed enough to the relationship to propose (and I know a couple in exactly this situation; and the bloke is the kind to 'split the bill' even though he's earning lots more than his gf). If your OH wanted to leave; how would you split the home you've both lived in for 10 years? Do you honestly want her walking off with only, say, 20% of the property? Not great for her.

It's just really dodgy relationship territory to be thinking things like this. Stick your extra money in ISAs, buy a second property ect.. just don't mess around with your 'family' home

amnblog

Harrpau

You should buy alone, live alone, overpay alone, and make plans with your girlfriend when you are ready for it.

Nothing you have posted here suggests that you are.

harrpau7

wwtrend wrote: »

I'm don't think you are ready for this commitment. Unless the decision not to have children relates to an inability by one or both of the partners then I can assure you that things change.

As someone has also said financial status will also become fluid you may through illness lose your earning capacity and hers may increase.
Are you going to spend time on your relationship marking down who bought what and who paid for the shopping during the relationship.

It is quite right you should ask and discuss these questions because finances is amongst the biggest reason for break ups so you both should know where the other is coming from.

In a committed relationship should you be considering looking at the income as joint. Working out how much you both need to undertake you work, travelling, lunches, business entertainment and treating the remainder as joint income as savings and for going out together.

As far as the property is concerned I understand the financial sense of paying off the mortgage quickly but what you are saying is I am putting more into the house so if we split I should get a bigger share of the principle and most valuable asset during the relationship.

I may be wrong but you seem the type who will also want to drive around in a top of the range car and be happy for the other half to be on the bus or in a reliant robin.

You are not treating your girlfriend as an equal partner in this relationship what she is putting in may equate to 70% of her earnings should you then not do the same despite that 70% will represent different amounts to each of you.

I understand what your gf is saying you have clearly very fixed and strong views on a number of issues which do whatever need to be resolved to the satisfaction of both of you or resentment will quickly build up and your relationship will be doomed before you start.

Whatever you decide I am in no doubt that a contract can be drawn up between you but when the relationship develops are you going to keep changing it? If you are intending to get married then the marriage may change the status of the agreement and you might need to redraft it. In my view the intricacies of your finances within the relationship
can only be discussed and agreed with one person, your gf. By the sounds of it you have already hurt her feelings as she doesn't have an equal interest in the property and feels like a tenant. Get a balance between you heart and your head and put yourself in her position or how you would feel if the earnings situation was reversed.

I drive a Ford Fiesta......

The only thing I want drawn up is for mortage payments, any deposit/extra payments, thats all. Nothing like day to day life, who drives where, who pays for dinner, who gets the bog roll etc....

If the roles were reversed I would be delighted, someone paying off my mortgage years early?? No brainer.

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Yep, you can't have my good advice without also getting my opinion Heck, even my solicitor sticks his oar in on stuff like this

Here's the fun bit. What happens if 10 years passes, you've paid off your mortgage but you've never committed enough to the relationship to propose (and I know a couple in exactly this situation; and the bloke is the kind to 'split the bill' even though he's earning lots more than his gf). If your OH wanted to leave; how would you split the home you've both lived in for 10 years? Do you honestly want her walking off with only, say, 20% of the property? Not great for her.

It's just really dodgy relationship territory to be thinking things like this. Stick your extra money in ISAs, buy a second property ect.. just don't mess around with your 'family' home

If I put an extra £3,000 in a year for 15 years, thats £45,000. I would want that back before the rest of the profit is divided equally. But of that £45,000, a 50% split is £22,500 each. My g/f would be £22,500 'worse off' from me spending £45,000. But we would owe less/nowt on the mortgage and would save £xx,xxx on interest, so there would be a bigger pot to divide and lower/0 monthly mortgage payments.

Can't see what the problem is, like I said if shoe was on t'other foot I would be made up.

Goldiegirl

I'd be happy that the mortgage might be paid off earlier.

But, I'm only comfortable in a financial partnership where the money earned by both parties goes in to a joint pot, where the funds belong to both parties, regardless of who earns what.

I wouldn't have got as far as buying a house with someone who wanted to keep finances separate, and certainly not someone who is thinking ahead to when we split up.

As already said, not sure if you are ready for this sort of commitment.