Paying more than girlfriend into mortgage dilema

Mrs_Z

chewmylegoff wrote: »

That's easy to say but when there is a large discrepancy in your respective financial positions it is a bit different in practice. I am in the same boat as OP and am going down the offset route with separate savings accounts with which to "overpay" the mortgage. I am also putting down a deposit of over four times my annual gross salary and she is putting down roughly £0, so I will be protecting that deposit with appropriate legal agreements, not because I don't trust her or because I think we will split up but because it would be moronic not to.

It is simply an insurance policy - you might as well say that taking out critical illness cover is planning to get ill. It isn't, it is making sure that if the worst possible eventuality happens then you are in a position to deal with it.

Could not agree with you more!

[Deleted User]

chewmylegoff wrote: »

That's easy to say but when there is a large discrepancy in your respective financial positions it is a bit different in practice. I am in the same boat as OP and am going down the offset route with separate savings accounts with which to "overpay" the mortgage. I am also putting down a deposit of over four times my annual gross salary and she is putting down roughly £0, so I will be protecting that deposit with appropriate legal agreements, not because I don't trust her or because I think we will split up but because it would be moronic not to.

It is simply an insurance policy - you might as well say that taking out critical illness cover is planning to get ill. It isn't, it is making sure that if the worst possible eventuality happens then you are in a position to deal with it.

To be honest, we were engaged 6 months after we moved in together and we dealt with everything once we bought a house together 'as if we were married'

I also protected £20k of deposit from my 'girlfriend', but had it written that once married this was to be null and void, with all assets split as expected.

chewmylegoff

ringo_24601 wrote: »

To be honest, we were engaged 6 months after we moved in together and we dealt with everything once we bought a house together 'as if we were married'

I also protected £20k of deposit from my 'girlfriend', but had it written that once married this was to be null and void, with all assets split as expected.

Whatever works for you - everyone's financial affairs are different and as long as both of the people in the relationship are happy with it then that's all that matters.

We are not married and not likely to get married either. I actually don't think I would bother to 'protect' £20k as if I 'lost' £10k or even all of it then I would be able to recover from that fairly quickly although I do appreciate this would not be the same for everyone and for some £20k is a seriously material amount).

However, I am putting down hundreds of thousands and I am not prepared to just let life take its course and hope for the best. I also wouldn't be prepared to buy a house with someone who wasn't happy for a degree of financial separation to be maintained - our relationship would not work if OH demanded everything be put in joint names and split equally. OH is happy with the arrangement we have as long as I disclose everything.

[Deleted User]

I can see why you don't want to get married then... I hope your OH feels secure in her life, knowing she could be turfed out at moments notice, leaving the relationship with nothing. I'm not sure many women would feel the same way.

mighty_hammers

You can go to a solicitor, and have a contract drwn up, something like tennants in common. You both own the property but different % depending on deposit and payments. Love doesn't come into it. If it is a written agreement, then there is no arguing if the worse happens. and yes My hubby and have have done this.

POPPYOSCAR

chewmylegoff wrote: »

Whatever works for you - everyone's financial affairs are different and as long as both of the people in the relationship are happy with it then that's all that matters.

We are not married and not likely to get married either. I actually don't think I would bother to 'protect' £20k as if I 'lost' £10k or even all of it then I would be able to recover from that fairly quickly although I do appreciate this would not be the same for everyone and for some £20k is a seriously material amount).

However, I am putting down hundreds of thousands and I am not prepared to just let life take its course and hope for the best. I also wouldn't be prepared to buy a house with someone who wasn't happy for a degree of financial separation to be maintained - our relationship would not work if OH demanded everything be put in joint names and split equally. OH is happy with the arrangement we have as long as I disclose everything.

Everyone is different but for us it is about trust and sharing.

My OH had nothing when we met and I had my own house. We then bought a house together using all the money from mine. It never entered my head to make a legal provision in the event of us splitting.

He might not have brought finances to the relationship at the time but he brought other things.



There are much more important things in life than money which I think is something you begin to realise when you get older.

chewmylegoff

ringo_24601 wrote: »

I can see why you don't want to get married then... I hope your OH feels secure in her life, knowing she could be turfed out at moments notice, leaving the relationship with nothing. I'm not sure many women would feel the same way.

Just because it wouldn't work in your relationship doesn't mean it doesn't work in ours. Our arrangements aren't the same as yours - get over it.

POPPYOSCAR

Chewmylegoff I hope it does work for you, and it may well do, but I think the point that some are making is that although the other partner may appear to be ok with it, deep down they may not be in reality.

I can only speak from my personal experience and it is those couples who do not share everything including finances that I have seen end up with the problems in their relationship.

I have seen two divorces and another relationship about to break up because of it in one way or another, all who seemed happy to go along with it at first.

davenport151

Have you thought about the other side of this? Who will do most of the day to day running of the house, pay for extras needed like curtains, furnishings etc. Painting supplies. Maintenance and repairs that need doing? Will this all be split down the middle or worked out as a share? Who put in what towards the upkeep.
This is as much a contribution to keeping a house as paying for it in the first place. Things that will keep its value in the long run when you need to sell.

getmore4less

One thing that some have difficulty with is separating the debt from the equity.

The equity decides the proportion you own and the same is used for the upkeep.

The debt share decided the proportions you pay to the debt.

These can be different and if you keep your contributions to each in the same proportions you never need to recalculate them and it keeps it very simple.

It also works for any values of deposits, debt, value rises and falls.