Someone has been withdrawing from my CC terrified is OH

~Chameleon~

Why on earth has this thread been made into a forum tip for the email??? :eek:

The OP hasn't even been back since starting this thread. In light of her disclosure of OH losing his temper, is the MSE team not concerned about her and now they've gone and highlighted her predicament so publicly? Words astound me!

zerog

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

Why on earth has this thread been made into a forum tip for the email??? :eek:

The OP hasn't even been back since starting this thread. In light of her disclosure of OH losing his temper, is the MSE team not concerned about her and now they've gone and highlighted her predicament so publicly? Words astound me!

There's no identifiable details from the OP

This is an internet forum

On a jury I would think people would be a bit less disinhibited... and while I haven't been on one personally, the two people I know who have were unable to reach a guilty verdict due to lack of evidence, but they all knew the accused did it. And that's enough for a matter of the heart.

~Chameleon~

zerog wrote: »

There's no identifiable details from the OP

This is an internet forum

There is vast difference between posting on a tiny section of an internet forum that may be viewed by a few thousand people to posting it publicly in an email that is sent to millions of people, many of which are not even forum members!

I would be horrified if I found that MSE had published a thread of mine in the weekly email without asking permission. And they cannot have done that as the OP hasn't been online since posting here on the 22nd.

pippinpuss

You need to cancel the card immediately, if you haven't already.

zagfles

zerog wrote: »

There's no identifiable details from the OP

This is an internet forum

On a jury I would think people would be a bit less disinhibited... and while I haven't been on one personally, the two people I know who have were unable to reach a guilty verdict due to lack of evidence, but they all knew the accused did it. And that's enough for a matter of the heart.

That's a complete contradiction. They "knew" the accused did it but there was a lack of evidence?? How then did they know, do they have some sort of ESP?:rotfl:

More likely they used their own experiences and prejudices to form a judgement (not a knowledge) but being on a jury they had the sense to set that aside and look at the actual evidence in front of them.

Here the OP clearly doesn't "know", she's looking for other explanations. So if even the OP doesn't know, not a single poster on here can possibly know either. There's certainly no compelling evidence in what she's written, just a bit of circumstantial evidence.

But this situation is easier to deal with than being on a jury, it's dynamic. Like my friend did, you can try to put the suspect in a position where a confession is their only (or best) option, if in fact they did it, without accusing them directly (or even indirectly).

zagfles

~Chameleon~ wrote: »

There is vast difference between posting on a tiny section of an internet forum that may be viewed by a few thousand people to posting it publicly in an email that is sent to millions of people, many of which are not even forum members!

This thread has 8145 views, some others on the first page of the CC board have ten or hundreds of thousands of views. I didn't even notice the thread being mentioned in the email.

~Chameleon~

zagfles wrote: »

This thread has 8145 views, some others on the first page of the CC board have ten or hundreds of thousands of views. I didn't even notice the thread being mentioned in the email.

The insert by MSE staff indicates it is being included in this week's email. The thread had had less than 5000 views when I first posted here this morning so is obviously being picked up in the email today. I just view it as very unethical. I can't even see what benefit it will have to the OP by publishing it.

SimonD316

It is in the email - down near the bottom under the title "Discussion of the week"

The link text says My other half used my credit card to withdraw cash which seems a little harsh.

Teacher2

It is highly likely that your OH is guilty of taking this money.

Stealing the money is one thing. Bad enough but possibly weakness rather than wickedness. After all he probably hasn't stolen from anyone else, just you as you were 'available' and unlikely to pursue him with the law if you found out.

But lying and trying to brazen it out is quite another thing. It compounds the crime by putting you under the sort of mental torture which you describe in your uncertainty. A decent man would own up and apologise.

It seems to me that there is no painless way out of this conundrum. Try to ascertain whether the OH is truly guilty. If he is or if you think he is at fault work out whether you will be able to trust him in future. It does seem strange that his reaction is one of anger at your accusation instead of concern for your loss and understanding of your dilemma. Surely he can see that the loss of trust issue is an even bigger one than that of the cash - bad though that is.

Sadly, I have to agree with the other commenters. It does seem as if your OH is at fault here. Having done this, will he ever be totally straight with you again? And can you live with the underlying mistrust which will be corrosive?

I sincerely hope that when you and the bank and police investigate that you find it is a stranger who robbed you. But you must find out for certain and then you must decide what you want to do about it. If it turns out he's innocent he should be gracious about acceopting an apology.

~Chameleon~

SimonD316 wrote: »

It is in the email - down near the bottom under the title "Discussion of the week"

The link text says My other half used my credit card to withdraw cash which seems a little harsh.

Exactly! There is no proof it even is her OH that has used the card. And what if her OH is subscribed to the email but doesn't use the forum? What if he recognises this as being about him?