Someone has been withdrawing from my CC terrified is OH

planteria

redcard wrote: »

All very nice and vague and from the way she has described things so far, it appears she'll be the one taking on all the stress of trying to fix things.

Unless the boyfriend has a massive change in attitude (and that's very unlikely), then she needs to leave him.

intentionally nice and intentionally vague. all we can do in a forum like this is try to help re. the financial side of things, who to contact, how to secure accounts etc.

imo for people in this thread to suggest that people end relationships is a bit much. he might be a great guy, in a real fix, that needs some help. he might be an !!!!, who doesn't care. the point is: i don't know. and nor do you.

globetraveller

Was the £4000 taken out in the last week or so. or over several months? If it was the latter then it must be your partner. There must have been statements to the house?
I have had problems with a cc but it was used several hundred miles away at a time when I could prove I was at work. I did get my money back but it was a hotel transaction and not a cash withdrawal.

meg72

Littlemadam83 wrote: »

Thanks Tinkerbell, I have my mortgage and won't be having kids.

Grumbler - the card has gone, I have no idea where it is. So again no difinitive proof.


Would everyone here really just leave? Even though its not like this person is out spending it, has anything flashy. To me, if it is him, its because he could be in trouble. I never thought I'd be like this in this position..

So would no one really not stick with innocent until proven guilty? People forgive cheaters and all sorts of things. I know this is breaking the law, but I have no solid proof?

Xxx

What a horrible situation for you OP. I do believe in innocent until proven guilty and certainly not in trial by forum you would not be breaking the law by forgiving him,, if its proved it was him.

I think your post said that you have contacted the police so that may make things a little more difficult if its proved to be him as
although you can tell them you don't want to press charges thy can still take action I understand.

I had a similar experience years ago with a much loved family member and he eventually admitted it, and yes I did forgive.

I really hope this works out well for you.

The_Boss

planteria wrote: »

yes, i imagine the whole thing is very difficult and upsetting for her. it doesnt mean he was an inch short of hitting her, for example, and that he might do next time. she can look after herself and run, and i wouldn't blame her if that what she wants to do. or she can try to work through it with the guy.

Whoa there - I haven't suggested that he was an inch short of hitting her. Angry arguments (when one person is in a rage) can cause psychological damage and is no way helpful to the OP's mental health illnesses that they already live with.

poet123

I think the details do point towards your OH, but it is possible to have a chip and pin card cloned. It has happened to us 3 times. The last time they booked flights with it, and ordered from an online shop so there must have been a delivery address. We were repaid by the bank each time.

Money_maker

The_Boss wrote: »

Whoa there - I haven't suggested that he was an inch short of hitting her. Angry arguments (when one person is in a rage) can cause psychological damage and is no way helpful to the OP's mental health illnesses that they already live with.

Additionally, the OP has a history of abusive relationships which is why it is unusual that this one is decribed the worst of her life.

You have my sympathies OP, I would refer to the police and kick him out of your house.

Thrugelmir

Ask yourself where all your statements have disappeared?

Didn't you notice an increasing direct debit going out of your bank account as the debt has grown.

Doesn't have to be the end of your relationship. Find help for your partner so that their problems can be addressed. You've learnt a hard lesson. Keep everything 100% secure until you can trust again.

The_Boss

Mylo_The_Moggy wrote: »

It certainly sounds very suspicious, especially when your OH has gone "berserk and ballistic" when you've tackled him about the money.

There could be a number of reasons as to why he has done this, if it is him. Possibly a heavy gambler, drugs, loan sharks, or even an affair?

Have you noticed any changes in him, is he moody, secretive, on edge?

It could be you are barking up the wrong tree about him.

But I very much doubt it.

Another thing that worries me is that the OP said he's not very good with money but has been better recently.

But has this only been because he's been stealing her money and not a change in his attitude?

PaulW922

Littlemadam - just to get back to the card issue - it is very important that, if you have not given anyone else the PIN, that you do not say or do anything either with the bank or the police, to imply otherwise. If you suggest that you may allowed someone to know the number even inadvertently, the bank may say that you have been careless and hold you responsible for the entire debt. I am not suggesting you should lie, but just be careful what you say...

stef787

If your OH has your login details, he probably checked your PIN online. I got credit cards with capital one and barclays and I have access to my PIN online.