Someone has been withdrawing from my CC terrified is OH

planteria

The_Boss wrote: »

Not admitting it is one thing. Going ballistic is another. I wouldn't risk sticking around with him likely to fly off the handle so easily. Next time it could be because he's not allowed to watch what he wants on TV.

i wouldnt assume that she means that he reacted That Badly.

planteria

and, rights or wrongs, the guy will be finding the whole thing very hard.

planteria

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

You can't work anything out, if he won't admit it.

if he needs to admit it, help him to do so..and tackle it

The_Boss

tinkerbell28 wrote: »

Well just looking at what the op has posted here.

He's been stealing off her for 8 months. He went "berserk and ballistic" and she had the "worst night of her life".

He's got money issues and op is the one worried sick, she's going to lose him? Just a wild stab in the dark, but there's some serious power/balance issues here.

You can't work anything out, if he won't admit it.

That's a perfect summary. I really feel for the OP.

The_Boss

planteria wrote: »

i wouldnt assume that she means that he reacted That Badly.

It was described as the worst night of her life...

Be_Happy

I went through the same situation over 30 years ago with 1st husband. You have to face that it wont get better.


I had money missing from house, accounts, even belongings in the house disappearing - presumably being sold. Discussing it with him led to absolutely convincing denials (even though I knew it couldn't be anyone else, I still believed him). Went on to physical abuse from him if I questioned him further.


Best thing I did was to take child and walk out on 14 year marriage.

bigadaj

Macca83 wrote: »

Hmmm... I'm not sure.

If you think of the amount of fraud committed on a day to day basis, especially those transactions that are picked up by the banks system before the customer is even aware of it, I'm sure there is an even higher proportion of people that are happy with the way in which the bank persued it. Those cases where the customer isn't happy with the outcome are usually more complex cases where the pin and/or card have been given to someone else or not kept secure. The bank will not refund money taken as their terms and conditions have not been met.

There are obviously exceptions to these scenarios.

I think we're at cross purposes here. My point is that both specifically and generally people are often unhappy when prosecutions are not progressed because it is too costly or the cost benefit ratio to the bank doesn't make sense. This obviously is a purely short term financial approach and it coud, be argued that if they pursued small scale fraud more diligently it would decrease as the risks would become too large relevant to the gain for the thief.

You might say that it's the banks business, and they absorb the costs but at the end of teh day these are passed onto customers and consumers so we all end up paying for it.

redcard

planteria wrote: »

i assume you have cancelled the card? if not, do it. you will be able to keep the account open but have a new card issued, with a different card number.

and if you haven't already, change all of your PIN numbers.

at this stage, i wouldn't speak to the police.



and i disagree. you need to get to the bottom of it all & if, as seems likely, your boyfriend is the person that has taken the money, have it out. you can't hide from it, and nor can he.

good luck.

All very nice and vague and from the way she has described things so far, it appears she'll be the one taking on all the stress of trying to fix things.

Unless the boyfriend has a massive change in attitude (and that's very unlikely), then she needs to leave him.

iAMaLONDONER

terra_ferma wrote: »

liars can be convincing, I once had someone who had been accused of stealing kneeling in front of me, crying, looking at me in the eyes, swearing in the name of god that they hadn't done it, it then turned out that there were witnesses and what they had done was much much worse than just stealing (not a partner in this case though)

What did they do- if it's too personal to share , I'll understand

planteria

The_Boss wrote: »

It was described as the worst night of her life...

yes, i imagine the whole thing is very difficult and upsetting for her. it doesnt mean he was an inch short of hitting her, for example, and that he might do next time. she can look after herself and run, and i wouldn't blame her if that what she wants to do. or she can try to work through it with the guy.