Someone has been withdrawing from my CC terrified is OH

terra_ferma

liars can be convincing, I once had someone who had been accused of stealing kneeling in front of me, crying, looking at me in the eyes, swearing in the name of god that they hadn't done it, it then turned out that there were witnesses and what they had done was much much worse than just stealing (not a partner in this case though)

terra_ferma

sistafromanothermista wrote: »

I think it's a bit harsh to say 'leave him'
It sounds to me as if there is little doubt it is him, however, it appears he could do with some sort of help to sort out this 'bad with money' problem.
You will probably have to pay it back if it transpires it was him.
The thing I would find the most hard to deal with would be the lies.
Can you forgive that?
Any ideas what he could have spent it on?
There must be a bigger underlying issue here. I've read a few stories of people losing their jobs and carrying on as if they haven't. Could it be something like this OP?
Good luck and let us know what happens. X

Someone not owning up, lying, deceiving, I think it's unforgivable even if in the end the evidence is so overwhelming that he admits he's done it. Some people feel the need to be with someone in the hope that they will 'change', but personally I would leave them but consider going back if they can convince me they have actually changed, and work hard to build trust again. They should not take me for granted.

agrinnall

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

I dealt with dozens of fraudulent ATM withdrawals when I worked in banking. Every time I pointed out to the customer that the bank would seek to prosecute the thief if identified. Every time I explained that the most likely culprit would be a member of the immediate family or a regular visitor to the house. Every time the ATM withdrawals happened within a few minutes drive of where one of the people described above lived or worked.

While I don't doubt what you say of your experience, it's a limited subset of possibilities. My credit card was cloned and the PIN recorded (I believe in a petrol station) in the UK, then used for cash withdrawals from ATMs in Australia, so entirely unlike the situation you describe. And I would have been extremely happy for anyone involved to have been prosecuted, although I've no idea if anyone was.

Macca83_2

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

I dealt with dozens of fraudulent ATM withdrawals when I worked in banking. Every time I pointed out to the customer that the bank would seek to prosecute the thief if identified. Every time I explained that the most likely culprit would be a member of the immediate family or a regular visitor to the house.

Never an easy thing to suggest to a victim of fraud. And I bet you weren't always thanked for your suggestion. I could imagine you would have got some downright angry responses. That is until the penny dropped.

bigadaj

Macca83 wrote: »

Never an easy thing to suggest to a victim of fraud. And I bet you weren't always thanked for your suggestion. I could imagine you would have got some downright angry responses. That is until the penny dropped.

That was the correct response though, anecdotal evidence suggests that many people are angered by the lack of response, even when they have been recompensed the view is that the banks and police don't pursue fraud to a great extent.

planteria

i assume you have cancelled the card? if not, do it. you will be able to keep the account open but have a new card issued, with a different card number.

and if you haven't already, change all of your PIN numbers.

at this stage, i wouldn't speak to the police.

work_to_live wrote: »

you would be a complete mug to pretend he didn't do it or to forgive him

and i disagree. you need to get to the bottom of it all & if, as seems likely, your boyfriend is the person that has taken the money, have it out. you can't hide from it, and nor can he.

good luck.

Auntie-Dolly

How did you find out the money was being withdrawn and over what period of time? Had someone been hiding the statements?

The_Boss

Not admitting it is one thing. Going ballistic is another. I wouldn't risk sticking around with him likely to fly off the handle so easily. Next time it could be because he's not allowed to watch what he wants on TV.

Macca83_2

bigadaj wrote: »

That was the correct response though, anecdotal evidence suggests that many people are angered by the lack of response, even when they have been recompensed the view is that the banks and police don't pursue fraud to a great extent.

Hmmm... I'm not sure.

If you think of the amount of fraud committed on a day to day basis, especially those transactions that are picked up by the banks system before the customer is even aware of it, I'm sure there is an even higher proportion of people that are happy with the way in which the bank persued it. Those cases where the customer isn't happy with the outcome are usually more complex cases where the pin and/or card have been given to someone else or not kept secure. The bank will not refund money taken as their terms and conditions have not been met.

There are obviously exceptions to these scenarios.

tinkerbell28

Well just looking at what the op has posted here.

He's been stealing off her for 8 months. He went "berserk and ballistic" and she had the "worst night of her life".

He's got money issues and op is the one worried sick, she's going to lose him? Just a wild stab in the dark, but there's some serious power/balance issues here.

You can't work anything out, if he won't admit it.