MSE Pregnancy Club 28

euronorris

Beckyy - you'll get conflicting advice about oil. We did. Midwives in the hospital I gave birth in recommended using olive oil as Mia was covered in flaky skin from being overdue. But, the midwives at the hospital I transferred to immediately warned us against it as a recent study had shown that the use of any oil caused damage to their skin.

I'll dig out the leaflet about the study if you like?

In the end, we opted for no oil and the flaky skin came off naturally within 2 weeks. A few baths which softened up the skin, and towelling off took most of it off to be honest.

Beckyy

Whilst it doesn't make it any easier I don't think something like that ever leaves you Freddie, and I think it's totally natural to feel like that. I don't really have any useful words but I'm glad Mrs Freddie is keeping well and baby Freddie is almost here. How is the building work going?

Thanks Euro, they mentioned olive oil being an option but said they don't recommend it now due to high oleic acid? It sounds like another minefield!

ThinkPink

I found the health visitor really handy and informative, I would have happily gone to meet them in a centre as surely that's better for resources. Mine seems really nice, not judgemental or pushy (as I've heard stories about them being both of these things!). Both hv and midwife have said the same about toiletries so I've stocked up on cotton wool, but I will pack wipes in the change bag for when we are out and about.

Freddie- I know your circumstances are slightly different to mine but I completely understand how you feel. We had spent 12 weeks feeling 'finally, we will get our much wanted baby', had seen them on a scan at about 8 weeks, wriggling about with a healthy heartbeat to them go to our 12 week scan to find no heartbeat and baby had stopped growing at about 10 weeks. I'm sure there will always be certain triggers which remind us of our Angel babies (for me is Christmas eve as this was the date of the 12 week scan, and also if we drive by the place I had my early private scan I feel sad), I guess it's just part of being human and life and I would probably worry more if I didn't ever think about what may have been.

psychopathbabble

It really doesn't ever leave you, I had a m/c at 15 (completely different circumstances to you all, I know) and although I didn't even know I was pregnant at the time, being pregnant now, 16 years later, it has still bought up feelings and emotions from then. Every little niggle and pain and cramp I worried that it was going to happen again. Give your emotions time and allow them to happen, it's still a grieving process and completely natural. Lots of love to you all x

euronorris

Had a similar experience to you pyscho, only I was 17(you don't get much sympathy when you're that young either. You're expected to be grateful! Ugh!).

You never forget, but it gets easier with time. Didn't stop me worrying all the way through though.

MancMama4

Jtr your birth story was beautiful, thank you for sharing and huge congratulations.

Freddie I can only echo the sentiments of the others, I still have waves of sadness now over what could have been. But every day I feel a little stronger and I think of my son being born in January and my heart just fills with love. You are doing brilliantly and you are already an amazing father and husband x

ThinkPink

I have to say I'm loving maternity leave (well being off as technically I'm still on annual leave)!! And I'm not sure how I would pope if I had to work in this heat!!

I think that so many people lose babies but it's always kept quiet, and its not until it happens to you that more people open up that they have been through losses too.

FreddieFrugal

ThinkPink wrote: »

And I'm not sure how I would pope if I had to work in this heat!!

Not to worry, I'm sure the pope-mobile has climate control! :rotfl:

flutterbyuk25

Congrats jtr! Enjoy her x Glad it went relatively the way you wanted.

Freddie - angel babies always stay with you xx

sweetilemon

FreddieFrugal wrote: »

I found myself the other day getting really upset about the baby we lost last year.

It was when we were on our way to a lovely seaside town that we like to visit and I said 'this'll be the first time we've taken baby there since being pregnant - no hang on, we've been before haven't we'

Then I realised that that was with our first pregnancy and I got really upset thinking about it. It's the first time since when it happened that It's hit me like that.

I'm so happy that we're having a healthy baby and can't believe how close it is now. But I don't think it'll ever change the fact that I know we lost our first - even as early as it was - wondering if they were a girl or boy, what we would have called them.

Feeling so regretful that we hadn't been able to get to this stage with them.

I think I just assumed that we'd get on, get pregnant again and we'd forget all about it - but obviously not!

Freddie if you Google 'growing around grief' my couseller showed me this and it's very true. You never 'get over' your loss and it doesn't get smaller you just learn to live with it and it to become part of who you are. I know my story is a bit different as I lost my healthy full term ( 40+5 ) at 4 weeks 2days to meningitis. They'll always be your child. I will always think about her, miss her and wonder about her. Just because our lives go on that doesnt stop.

I wish you all the best for your rainbow and hope everything goes well