MSE Pregnancy Club 28

jtr2803

Sorry ladies but I really cannot agreed that a birth plan is pointless! It's probably one of the biggest and most intimate experiences of your life, why would you not want to try and have some input in it? I went with the whatever approach last time and ended up induced, drip, antibiotics, constant monitoring and a ventouse delivery with possible pph. This is because I was too trusting and too accepting of policy over what's really necessary.

Ultimately we all want a safe delivery and healthy baby but a birth plan isn't just about that last hour or so it's about the entire journey and you have every right to request that your wishes are met. Mine will cover everything from the light in the room to music to my third stage plans and who will be helping me weigh up any decisions that need to be made. Of course, it may not go to plan and things may need to change but it's a list of preferences not a list of demands.

I see so much about people being coerced into sweeps, induction due to waters breaking and being refused access to pools, half of it is red tape, not what's best for mum and baby. Writing a birth plan helps think and research all these issues that I think we should all consist in advance.

pigpen

in the words of the Borg.. resistance is futile..




You will do what they want regardless.. how will you make them provide what you want? How will you stop them doing a procedure you don't want when they say 'the baby needs this' ?? You won't.. so from that POV some aspects are pointless.. only the things you can affect are worth mentioning.. and if things get 'tricky' they will turn off music because it is distracting, they wont ask permission they just take over.

They did my daughters episiotomy without telling her.. and mine too... they say 'quick check to see how you're doing' and do a stretch and sweep.. they don't ask permission... and if you say no to anything.. they write all about your vileness in your notes.

I am now distressed enough to ring in the morning and tell them I'm not going. I can't do this..

psychopathbabble

pigpen wrote: »

in the words of the Borg.. resistance is futile..




You will do what they want regardless.. how will you make them provide what you want? How will you stop them doing a procedure you don't want when they say 'the baby needs this' ?? You won't.. so from that POV some aspects are pointless.. only the things you can affect are worth mentioning.. and if things get 'tricky' they will turn off music because it is distracting, they wont ask permission they just take over.

They did my daughters episiotomy without telling her.. and mine too... they say 'quick check to see how you're doing' and do a stretch and sweep.. they don't ask permission... and if you say no to anything.. they write all about your vileness in your notes.

I am now distressed enough to ring in the morning and tell them I'm not going. I can't do this..

It sounds like you have had some tough experiences Pigpen. My midwife said while I am high risk and they advise I go to a hospital for birth rather than an mlu, I can go against medical advice and do what I want. I guess it's not that they do what they want to you but do what they believe to be best in the current ongoing situation, and sadly we can't predict what might happen as we just don't know until we are already in labour. I imagine it's difficult wth some women to get them to think rationally enough to consider the options and what is being suggested in some cases so they probably just have to kind of get on with it.

skintbuthappy81

jtr- I wasn't going to do a birth plan, I know what I would like (in an ideal world) being a water birth with gas and air and I figured if that wasn't to be then I would go along with anything they suggest. The midwife has never even mentioned a birth plan to me and I am due in less than 3 weeks so was just going with the flow. Having read your post I am going to start writing one up tomorrow, they may totally ignore it but at least it is there just incase.

euro, toots let us know how your scans/appointments go tomorrow.

euronorris

Will do skint

My knicker line sits about an inch above pubs line, and they aren't granny knickers, they're hi leg briefs. So maybe the shaving thing varies from person to person?

I've already got some big maternity pants in the hospital bag

tatabubbly

In that case I'm getting full bikini wax done before I deliver - planning on having a natural French nail mani pedi that week as well - that way my hands will look half decent in the photos

Hearing more stories about doctors doing what they want kinda makes me glad that I'm having baby abroad.. It's an Islamic country so they pretty much can't touch you without your consent and suing is quite common here so they have to be careful! I'll be interested to see what the OB thinks of my birthing preferences on Saturday - he's all for natural births and giving mums what they desire so I'm hoping it'll go well. I've not heard anything bad about him from anyone who has had their baby with him so I'm pretty happy.

ThinkPink

I do plan on researching as much as I feel comfortable with to come up with an idea of what I do and don't want regarding Labour and I want to be aware of my options, but n the other hand I don't want to completely over load myself and read lots of scare stories about particular option because it will cause me more stress if I then have to have one of those options, so I need to get a balance that I'm happy with.

Thanks for the tips, I think I'll be arranging a good tidy up just before I'm due just in case I need a c section!!

I think my notes have me a low risk, but my pregnancy bmi was 30 so not sure if I've changed catergories now, not that I know how much weight I've gained.

jtr2803

Pig, I'm sorry you've had those experiences but that is not the norm and anyone who does that to me without explaining or requesting my permission will be on the end of some very public complaints. I have a husband and a doula who will both be briefed in my wishes and who can advocate for me. anyone who feels bullied into unnecessary procedures prior to labour can contact aims for good advice.

No person has a right to do anything you that you don't want, it's otherwise abuse and rather than telling all these ladies it's futile and they'll end up being poked and cut I think they should be encouraged to make their feelings known, find out the details and have their birth partner fully on board, whatever their choices. I think your post is actually quite negative and scary for first time mums.

As I've already said, it's preferences, not demands but knowledge is power in the labour room.

jtr2803

skintbuthappy81 wrote: »

jtr- I wasn't going to do a birth plan, I know what I would like (in an ideal world) being a water birth with gas and air and I figured if that wasn't to be then I would go along with anything they suggest. The midwife has never even mentioned a birth plan to me and I am due in less than 3 weeks so was just going with the flow. Having read your post I am going to start writing one up tomorrow, they may totally ignore it but at least it is there just incase.

euro, toots let us know how your scans/appointments go tomorrow.

I'm glad skint, many forward thinking hospitals now completely understand the link between progression of labour and the birth environment, that's why many mlus are home from home style set ups . I genuinely believe the majority of birthing staff do want mum to have a nice experience and will try to facilitate that, it doesn't hurt to ask anyway!

lulu_92

I had a very vague birth plan that made the following demands/requests:

- Only necessary medical staff (no students)
- Epidural only to be given once I'm in established labour (4-5cm dialated)
- No episiotomy unless absolutely medically necessary
- Would prefer a ventouse over a forceps deliver, again only if absolutely necessary
- No formula to be given to the babies as I would like to breastfeed (very important point just in case babies need to go to NICU, like my girls did.)
- Skin to skin as soon as possible.
- OH to cut the cord.

The only thing that was deviated from my birth plan was that OH didn't get to cut the cords. I felt that the medical interventions I received were justified and necessary. At the time the twins were born I had been in labour for four days, and established labour for about 16 hours (not long by other people's measure, but long enough for me), and my epidural was wearing off and my SPD was really playing up as I was in stirrups.

Not all elements of a birth can be controlled. At the end of the day births are unpredictable so there's only so much input you can have and if you are insistent on having a rigid birth plan you run the risk of being left disappointed, depressed, or even traumatised because it didn't go the way you had hoped. I think all birth plans should have at least some element of "let's go with the flow" as sometimes that's all you can do.

My birth experience wasn't what I expected (ventouse delivery), but I knew anything could happen when delivering one baby, let alone two!