MSE Pregnancy Club 28

LittleMoog

Why have they said you can't access mlu sweetilemon? Sorry if you've said before, I can't remember anything at the moment! You may be able to negotiate access via the SOM if your pregnancy has been going smoothly and it's just down to an arbitrary risk factor. Worth asking your cmw if there are ever exceptions at least. Even on regular delivery suite you can do things to make it more homely, and avoid getting stuck on the bed, (battery candles/fairy lights, music, your own pillows etc) I've even heard of people asking for the bed to be moved to side of room etc.

sweetilemon

It's just my BMI and now being monitored for gastrational diabetes Littlemoog. I have been told I will be induced earlier than 2 weeks if I go over to prevent a high birth weight. Hoping I go naturally. I'm not particularly fussed on being in the 'high risk' section as I understand there will be doctors monitoring the progress rather than just midwifes I just want to make sure I'm not stuck lying down on a bed - think gravity should help things along.

pigpen

I think sometimes you just have to be assertive and have your birth partner as an advocate to say 'no, this is what she wants to make this a pleasant/less scary/more comfortable experience.' it is ok to say 'no, stop' and also 'Please could you explain that in more detail/more clearly/why that is necessary' .. With the relevant information so you are able to make an informed decision makes it all easier to deal with when things are out of your control.

Don't feel pressured into making a decision on something when you are scared or feel it has not been explained..

This is why I feel birth plans are a waste of time.. mine had 2 words because they forced me to write something .. it said.. 'Wing it!!' Things can change very quickly, you can find your needs take priority over what you envisaged.. it is like asking you to describe the bottom of the sea without you ever seeing it.. you can't.. you don't know what you will face, things can change very quickly or you might cope way better than you think or things may move very quickly and perfectly.. you cannot plan anything with all the best will in the world!

I'm as high risk as you get, I'm old, I'm fat (BMI 29) I've had 6 sections, dodgy kidneys and constant UTI, anaemic and better still I am allergic to latex and micropore!..My son has T1 diabetes so they want tests for gestational diabetes which of course I refused and I'm as difficult as it is possible to be.. but, nothing happens to me without my say so.. no one touches me without my permission.. I am not a piece of meat and will not be treated as one... and some will if you allow it.

You have to be firm and have a good advocate who will assert your wishes and ask why things are necessary and what they are.. this is most important when you feel vulnerable and scared that someone will speak up for you. Do not rely on any of the staff to read your notes or your birth plan because they don't have time.

When my daughter had her first there were a few moments when the midwife was pushing her to ask for a section .. without just cause, as agreed by the consultant!.. 'theatre is free now and might not be if you need it later' was her argument.. and I kept saying no.. because it was not what my daughter wanted, and as the consultant said, it wasn't really necessary at that time.. there is always the option to change your mind if circumstances change.. however, when it came to an episiotomy I knew it was not what DD wanted but at that time it was for the best for the baby, he needed to be out and help at that point.. as it turned out his cord was round his neck and as he descended it pulled tight.. and I said just do it when they were procrastinating over asking DD.. she was too tired to listen or make a decision and I did explain that to her afterwards and say yes I made that decision for the baby.

That's a bit of a waffle.. but I do hope something helps and makes sense

RebekahR

The pregnancy facebook group is still open to new intakes fyi ...! PM me your facebook id to add you.

sweetilemon

I'm so annoyed with argos, 3rd failed deliveries of the wardrobe from our cot set. I'm stuck with a 2 piece 'set' having paid the full amount a month ago. I've continually been on the phone to them, this has been going too long. How hard is it to deliver a full cot set. I'm never using them again. Got my husband to phone this morning as I'm so angry with them. Glad I started ordering 3 months before my due date! Even the pitiful £34 (!? What a stupid amount) compensation hasn't arrived and was told this is due to a delay because they've had so many complaints - I'm not surprised. In my experience they are totally incompetent.

Argh!!! Rant over. ..for now lol.

Saffagal

I feel your pain sweetilemon! My experience (though not baby related - a new microwave) was similarly horrendous... ordered it - nothing turned up. Took 3 lots of chasing on my part to finally get the order cancelled as I got tired of them promising to phone me and never doing so, and they randomly turned up to deliver 2 days after I had cancelled the first time - took 2 lots of telling them I wanted to cancel and a full 12 days before they refunded me!!! Will certainly never be ordering something for them to deliver again!

sweetilemon

Thanks saffagal, I've never dealt with a company so bad at resolving a problem. They were meant to call back but haven't yet. I have emailed my credit card company to ask them to help resolve the issue. The problem is I have 2/3 of the set and don't want to dismantle and send back the pieces I have. These situations are quite stressful when pregnant, I spend the first hour in a rage then went to tears! Just want everything perfect for the baby...so stupid when they won't notice a missing wardrobe lol.

rinroo

Hi Ladies,

I've just popped in from the less than 12 weeks PG thread as I have a question I hope you can help me with.

I have my dating scan on Friday (29th) however my employer is asking me to change it, as another colleague from same department is off attending a funeral that day. Can they do this? I only got the appointment through Saturday morning.

If it was any other appointment I would change it, but these scans take so long to come through that I don't want to change it (being selfish!!) Also I have my bloods and antenatal appointment at the same time so I would have to change these too.

Just wondered where (if anywhere) I stand?

LittleMoog

Hi Rinroo,
I think they can ask that you change it, but not insist if it's not possible, as you're legally entitled to time off work for antenatal appointments. My company asks that you try and book appointments for the start/end of the day to minimise disruption, but I've never been asked to move to a different day. The antenatal services are normally not that flexible anyway! I'd imagine that if you need to change it the best thing to do would be to ring the ultrasound department and explain, and contact MW separately to rearrange booking appointment.

euronorris

From Mumsnet:


Do I have to check that the time of the appointment is convenient for my employer?
It is always going to be a good idea to check with your employer first if you want time off for a particular appointment, and if your employer has a good reason for refusing a particular date then you would be expected to change it if possible. However, an employer is not allowed to act unreasonably in refusing you the time off.
This means that there needs to be a balance between your needs and that of your employer. So if you have got an urgent appointment to see a consultant about an issue that relates to yours or your baby's health, an employer is likely to be acting unreasonably in refusing to give you paid time off.
On the flip side, if your employer asks you to put off your pregnancy yoga class to attend the most important business meeting of the year, this would probably not be seen as unreasonable.


http://www.mumsnet.com/jobs/maternity-leave/time-off-for-antenatal-care


So, presumably this was booked in before the funeral? Also, whilst you can certainly ask if your appointment can be changed, if no appointments are available until weeks later, I think it's perfectly reasonable to stick to the original appointment and say that it can't be changed. Reason being that past 14 weeks, the combined test cannot be done. I don't think it's unreasonable for you to stick to the original appointment time for that reason.


Hope that helps x