ASD / Aspergers Support Thread Part II

tillyenna

Heya - I don't have asperges or autism, but I do have emotional processing difficulties and sensory processing disorder (which are two of the things most commonly associated with those on the autistic spectrum) and I agree with Brenny - a diagnosis isn't going to do a lot, unless you are struggling to accept things for yourself. What I can suggest, is reading up around the areas that you struggle with, and researching what coping mechanisms other people use e.g. I'm a massive fan of compression for my SPD, and I've learnt how to do non-harmful stimming, which helps calm me down when things get bad.

Reasearch is your friend, knowledge is power :-D

duchy

Really it depends......
some companies will make special adjustments IF you have a diagnosis.....but won't do so without "paperwork" so a diagnosis CAN have value.

My ASD son will get a lot of support at university but the diagnosis makes it much easier to get (not saying it is impossible without but definitely harder)

DFlights

^This.

Although the company I work for now is relatively understanding, only *I* know how I'm feeling and struggle to explain. A formal diagnosis would give me some official "back up", if you like. I know plenty of people who are self-diagnosed with a number of issues, but without a formal diagnosis, it can be dismissed as histrionics, hypochondria, etc. A medical report or diagnosis would mean that one has been assessed as having particular problems and needs and would add weight to any requests for adjustments.
It would also stop me feeling like a waste of space when I start to have a meltdown, and would also mean that other workers could be helped to understand any condition and help them to cope with me as much as for me to cope with the environment.

Indie_Kid

I found the diagnosis made no difference. I've had dealings with social services and a college I was planning on going to, decide I can't possibly be Autistic (despite the paperwork I have) and it's just anxiety. They have never (and will never) see me have a meltdown or sensory (noise) overload. They told me I should go to Mind and get some counselling, for what, I really don't know. Although, relationship counselling has been suggested because of the problems I have. (er, I have an obsession towards one of my friends)

Although, having hypersensitive hearing can come in useful. I used to attend an Autism group and at the end of each month, we'd do a quiz. Someone on the next table whispered the answered, which I heard. :rotfl: We're now banned from talking!

BucksLady

Hi Everyone

My sister was diagnosed with AS when she was 11, having originally been told that she was dyspraxic. Now aged 28, she lives at home with my parents and each and every day is a struggle for her. What frustrates me is that there seems to be so little help available for anyone with AS.

I think anyone meeting E would wonder about her diagnosis. Over the years she has learnt to avoid situations which she knows will be problematic. She is recognised as musically gifted and in the circles she moves, is just seen as 'eccentric'. Knowing her as I do, it is so much more than that. For example, I called in to see mum and E yesterday, and was shocked when mum opened the door. The white of her left eye was comletely red - bloody looking. It was a broken blood vessel - nothing serious - but very dramatic looking. She hadn't looked in a mirror for a couple of hours - so didn't know. I asked E why she hadn't told mum. She simply replied that she thought mum knew. E is unable to empathise with other people - that's the way it is.

I hope I haven't been rambling , and many thanks to Indie Kid for starting this thread and talking so openely about AS. It is also really interesting to read about other peoples experiences.

Indie_Kid

BucksLady wrote: »

What frustrates me is that there seems to be so little help available for anyone with AS.

This is what frustrates me. I asked for help after my diagnosis and was told to contact a local group and social services. The local group is a peer support group type thing and not a substitute for counselling, etc. And social services don't get it and they gave up on me after I'd had enough of the lack of notice for a meeting (unless I'm being that unreasonable in wanting more then 24 hours notice?) and the general misunderstanding of sensory issues and my social issues. (I don't like noise or big crowds)

I hope I haven't been rambling , and many thanks to Indie Kid for starting this thread and talking so openely about AS. It is also really interesting to read about other peoples experiences.

You're welcome.

Waves_and_Smiles

I wanted to share a lovely story with you.

My best friend of 7 years has Aspergers and she can be almost brutally honest with me at times but that is why I love her. A while ago she asked me how I was and then paused. She then said matter of factly "You know I actually care about the answer to that. Other than my daughter you are the only person I have said that to and actually wanted to hear the answer and wanted to make it better if I could. I must care about you."

I burst into tears because she doesn't show or indeed feel much affection towards anyone. We worked for years on how to do small-talk even down to running through roleplay of what to say when a neighbour says hi and asks how she is (she was inclined to either say "Fine" and stop the conversation or run through every aspect of her day while her neighbours eyes glazed over).

I wouldn't change her for the world though. I have a lot of mental illnesses and where others get distressed or frustrated when I am unwell she never has. She will deal with practical support and I can tell her anything because she is totally non-judgemental. As she says she just thinks "Oh, ok, Lin feels that way now and did that as a result" and she has total acceptance of me no matter how I am.

And her caring about me and us both realising it means more to me than anyone else caring about me in my whole life

Savvy_Sue

Know what you mean wands, I was going through a hugely stressful time and was in tears, and one of my Aspie friends said "is there anything I can do?" I asked for a hug, and said "Tell me I'm doing alright?" Which he did, and then said "Actually, you're doing more than alright, I don't know anyone else who could cope with what you're doing as well as you are."

And the best of it is, he'd never say that if he didn't mean it!

Told DS1 I had something hugely stressful I couldn't talk to anyone in this area about, so I'd phoned his godfather. "I am also not in that area" was his response. I could have cried. I told him that I wouldn't say I didn't want to worry him, because I know he doesn't 'do' worry, but I didn't want to completely panic myself! So I'd hang onto the situation for now.

He does the "I know you're upset, and I don't understand why you're upset, and I don't see what I can do to help, but if there IS anything I can do to help then please tell me what" routine as well.

ManofLeisure_2

What I find worrying is that there are quite a large number of people who feel that because they have a few characteristics of AS, they must have Aspergers. That is often not the case.

Indie_Kid

ManofLeisure wrote: »

What I find worrying is that there are quite a large number of people who feel that because they have a few characteristics of AS, they must have Aspergers. That is often not the case.

And more often than not, those "characteristics" aren't even part of an Aspergers / ASD diagnosis. Did used to know someone who claimed he has it because he's good at maths. I know many people who have a diagnosis who are either poor or average at maths.

I was told by someone I don't have it because I don't have the characteristics. I do have them; but I tend to either hide them or don't fit the stereotype. (I'm a female and we're harder to diagnose)