ASD / Aspergers Support Thread Part II

Waves_and_Smiles

That is actually a very good point, for a while a psychiatrist questioned whether I had Aspergers because I have to keep routine and rules (massive OCD), I struggle with social interaction and my moods can be flat at times ( an entirely different condition is to blame). Having my friend with it I knew for a fact that I didn't at all.

It is so difficult because it seems some people believe they have it when they don't but at the same time those who do often struggle for a confirmation... Also we are all somewhere on the spectrum as we are with things like OCD, I have always judged that these things are fine unless they make your life or the life of others very difficult and/or at risk.

Brenny

I think anyone meeting E would wonder about her diagnosis. Over the years she has learnt to avoid situations which she knows will be problematic. She is recognised as musically gifted and in the circles she moves, is just seen as 'eccentric'. Knowing her as I do, it is so much more than that.

I was told by someone I don't have it because I don't have the characteristics. I do have them; but I tend to either hide them or don't fit the stereotype.

This is the same for my dgd - we have even had someone who was meant to be an expert telling us that she couldn't have aspergers because she maintained eye contact - whereas she taught herself to do this when she was able to go to school

What I find worrying is that there are quite a large number of people who feel that because they have a few characteristics of AS, they must have Aspergers. That is often not the case.

I find it much more of a concern that there appears to be a definite reluctance to diagnose children these days, probably due to the cutbacks. However, the less help parents/children get early on, the worse the consequences will be in the future.

meritaten

There is a general reluctance to diagnose ANYONE these days. and tbh Mental Health Services in this country is diabolical.

[Deleted User]

worried_and_scared wrote: »

I wanted to share a lovely story with you.

My best friend of 7 years has Aspergers and she can be almost brutally honest with me at times but that is why I love her. A while ago she asked me how I was and then paused. She then said matter of factly "You know I actually care about the answer to that. Other than my daughter you are the only person I have said that to and actually wanted to hear the answer and wanted to make it better if I could. I must care about you."

Yes I can say that sometimes my older son can just cut straight to the core of emotions, and bring tears to my eyes, at other times he can be so abrupt I walk away saying under my breath, its the aspergers, he doesn't know what he said lol.

I have been told that I have some aspergic traits.., certainly my social skills leave a lot to be desired, I far far prefer my own company to any one elses (but this could be due to the way I was treated as a kid, it wasn't good), I can be very insensitive or overwhelmed with the iffs and buts/consequences of actions. I can be obsessive and am often way too literal. But I don't think I'd ever be diagnosed as having aspergers. I have certainly found it very difficult to hold down a job though because of my social skills. And I think in some ways its helped me understand where my sons are coming from. I have heard as has been said on here that we are all aspergic to some degree or other.

Waves_and_Smiles

As I said I have very severe OCD and that is something my friend and I can completely relate to with each other. We both have rules and routines and obsessions and totally accept each others even if we don't understand them. In fact my friend has been and is incredibly helpful for setting rules for me when I am distressed that I then follow. Rather than try to alter my compulsions and obsessions she works with them and is better than anyone at finding ways for me to cope. We are also both obsessed with comparing 1940s to 1970s science-fiction with modern day scientific discoveries (Don't you just want to invite us to parties now?:rotfl: ) and we can talk to and at each other for hours about it, if I tried that with anyone else they would be asleep in seconds.

Although we have different conditions we share a lot of 'oddities' in common that many others just wouldn't understand. Some research says that OCD is somewhere on the AS spectrum too so that might account for it?

To summarise that waffle I love my friend just as she is and I see her Aspergers as bringing something totally wonderful into my life (along with everything she brings because she is a whole lot more than a diagnosis) and I wouldn't want her to be any other way.

Indie_Kid

Brenny wrote: »

This is the same for my dgd - we have even had someone who was meant to be an expert telling us that she couldn't have aspergers because she maintained eye contact - whereas she taught herself to do this when she was able to go to school

I've heard similar from others. They've been told they can't have Autism because there's a certain trait they don't have. Or rather, they have it's but it's not obvious.

I have heard as has been said on here that we are all aspergic to some degree or other.

I've heard this too. And if you have a close relative with it, you're more likely to have it, which is how I think a friend got his diagnosis. (He's just seen as weird by others)

we can talk to and at each other for hours about it, if I tried that with anyone else they would be asleep in seconds.

I'm like this too with some friends of mine. With one, it's 30s Jazz and another, it's most things. (well, music, football, running and London. The last time we met, we ended up having a discussion about London bus routes:o)

ManofLeisure_2

Originally posted by Brenny : I find it much more of a concern that there appears to be a definite reluctance to diagnose children these days, probably due to the cutbacks. However, the less help parents/children get early on, the worse the consequences will be in the future.

My feeling is that too many children have been 'labelled', and very often the right diagnosis has not been reached. For example, BucksLady mentioned that her sister had been labelled 'dyspraxic', but then told she had 'asperger's syndrome' at 11. Sadly, that is not uncommon.

Indie_Kid

ManofLeisure wrote: »

Originally posted by Brenny : I find it much more of a concern that there appears to be a definite reluctance to diagnose children these days, probably due to the cutbacks. However, the less help parents/children get early on, the worse the consequences will be in the future.

My feeling is that too many children have been 'labelled', and very often the right diagnosis has not been reached. For example, BucksLady mentioned that her sister had been labelled 'dyspraxic', but then told she had 'asperger's syndrome' at 11. Sadly, that is not uncommon.

Indeed. I was originally diagnosed with OCD and depression. (more than once) My brother was diagnosed with schizophrenia. And I'm sure the term "spoilt brat" was bandied about a few times.

They are also reluctant to diagnose adults too.

ManofLeisure_2

Sorry to hear that Indie Kid. A few years back a new boy arrived at my son's school and the poor lad just couldn't cope at all. He would lay in the school corridor, shouting and screaming that he simply didn't want to be in school. Aged 12, he had received no formal diagnosis and the school simply expelled him. After a long battle (detailed in the local paper), the school was taken to task because the parent's having taken him to a 'private' educational psychologist, had found that their son had 'Asperger's Syndrome'. The boy was then given a statement of 'special educational needs' and the EA paid for him to attend a local private school. I witnessed the distress this lad experienced and felt very sad about the whole matter.

BucksLady

I think a diagnosis always means 'money' and that's why there's a reluctance to reach one. Perhaps I'm just being cynical .