12-24 weeks pregnant (part 3)

time2deal

23 weeks weeks for me today. Each week feeling pretty precious at the moment. I've taken it easier today, and managed to get a setup on the sofa with a mini table for the laptop where I could comfortably work in a reclined position.

daisiegg

Oh tcod sorry you are feeling so low. I think your response is completely understandable. I don't really have any advice to offer but I hope you can work it our and that your OH is supportive of you.

t2d glad you have taken it more easily today.

As for me, thought I would update quickly. I am ok, and I actually seem to not be being sick anymore! It is amazing! Only problem is I am so hungry all the time and the number on the scales is going up at an alarming rate. I am actually really concerned about it and need to try and stop eating so much. I was happy with how it was gradually creeping up until now but over the last fortnight or so it has gone mental. I think I have gained about 5lbs in two weeks. I have been eating quite a bit but not crazy amounts and not loads of junk food...generally good, healthy food. Hubby keeps telling me that according to his pregnancy book baby is having a rapid growth spurt and laying down lots of fat at the moment...but pretty sure she does not weigh 5 lbs!!

Anyone else struggling with the heat? I am. Still getting dizzy spells and feeling very tired all the time. Back pain has been bad and today and yesterday I have an inexplicably swollen, incredibly painful knee. I have been icing it but it is really bad. No idea what that is about! Wondering if it is the extra weight but why would it just be one knee?!

Yesterday morning at work I spent about 20 minutes rushing around like a lunatic, we had a big controlled assessment starting and things were going wrong in the morning with children and books not being in the right places at the right times, I must have run up and down stairs a dozen times. Afterwards I felt really rough for the rest of the day and then last night I has a little bleed overnight. First in a week or so. I'm sure it must be connected.

I am feeling slightly low about the whole pregnancy thing at the moment. It is silly I know. But I feel stressed all the time. Now that I can feel lots of kicks it is just another reason to get stressed - I panic and worry if I don't feel anything for a while! As you all know I still hate seeing blood even though I know there's a reason. I am tired of having no energy and feeling so light headed and dizzy, even though I am very glad not to be vomiting anymore. I never imagined pregnancy would be like this. Maybe it isn't like this for everyone. It seems that up until my first big bleed at 17 weeks even though I was sooooo sick, I was almost enjoying being pregnant, and wasn't so worried. After spending 7 weeks bleeding on and off (even though I know there have been reasons and I know baby girl is ok) I just feel stressed and worried all the time. If I could fast forward through the rest of it and skip to just getting her out safe and well, I would. And that is sad, because I feel like I should be enjoying this. There are lots of people in more precarious and worrying situations (some on this thread!) than me and I don't have more reason than anyone else to be so stressed, really. I do love it when I am lying still feeling her kick so strong, and I am very excited about getting her room ready and so on. I just wish I could relax and enjoy it more.

It also doesn't help that my department at work are going to Vinopolis (wine tasting place in London) on Saturday! wine tasting is my absolute favourite thing and they only even know Vinopolis exists because we went there on my hen do! Everyone's partners are going and everything and more people are going than usually come to social events - it is a really big thing and they are going for lunch first and dinner afterwards. I am so jealous and really gutted to miss it. I really want to go (obviously without drinking wine - they do a non drinkers admission!) but logically I know if I feel like death after twenty minutes rushing around one morning, how will I cope with being out and on my feet for hours and hours, and trains and tubes and stairs in stations and walking between locations and everything? I just probably won't, I suppose. Also hubby is away this weekend so I would have too go without him. This means there would be no one there to 'look after me' and my lovely colleagues would be keeping an eye on me and worrying about me, to the detriment of their own fun. If I wanted to come home earlier than them then I know someone would feel obliged to come with me and that is just not fair. So I know logically that it just won't work for me to go.......but I reeeeeeally want to and am utterly gutted to be missing it! Petty and silly I know full well. I just am already fretting about missing them all when I leave, and my colleagues are really my main friends. I am worried we will lose touch when I am not there every day and I want to make the most of being with them while I can

Eek! Sorry! This has turned into a huge self indulgent rant. This is exactly why I was trying not to post as I knew this is what would happen! Sorry.

teaandcakeordeath

Thanks t2d. Part of me feels like I'm just being over-sensitive and I should just get over it but I can't shrug it off. Think everything is getting to me at the moment. I feel so out of control and everytime I go to the hospital it seems like they try and take a little bit of whatever control I have left off me. I spoke to my mw and she said that any home birth, labouring mum would be taken to hospital if their pulse shot up and didn't come back down so that reassured me a little but still feel like I'm going to have to argue the toss and justify myself to people who I really can't be bothered with! I can't wait for the baby so I never have to go back to that place again!

I asked about the weight thing and they weren't bothered that I'd lost weight. Listened to baby's hb, took my bp (v. low as usual), stressed me out, measured bump- said that it wasn't small but was just under what they'd expect so have been referred for a growth scan. They think it's just because of retroverted uterus though and uterus hasn't come forwards yet so baby more in body than out of it iykwim... Not bothered about having a growth scan as I know that they're just doing that to tick a box and on bright side will get to see baby again. Downside- back to that bloody hospital!

OH just came and gave me a big hug and apologised for being an ar.se so hopefully when I'm less upset about the whole cra.ppy day we can start getting information together and make a decision together. I want a home birth but he would be happier in hospital- I want us both to be happy and confident with whatever decision we come to and I think the only way that can happen is if he gets a bit more involved and looks at the information with me. I just feel incredibly alone at the moment and not at all like myself. Stupid really.

Peonie- primark has a small selection of mat clothes (and also think they do mat bras but not sure what size they go up to). TBH the clothes aren't bad, I've got two pairs of jeans from there. Wasn't overwhelmed with the tops on offer but there were a couple of nice dresses- just not really suitable for me as I don't go anywhere to wear nice things! I was planning on wearing a bikini top to give birth in as I don't want to faff around to get skin to skin and then have a nightie type thing to change into- I have one that has 'triangle' cups (a bit like this http://www.debenhams.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/prod_10701_10001_151010202443_-1 ) that should give easy access to bf. We've booked onto the NCT classes and I'll also be going to the mw led classes too. We want as much information as possible so that we can pick and choose what we like. Think OH was happy with the idea of NCT classes as it's more a couple thing and everytime we've done something hospital related there hardly seems to be any male involvement. It really bugs him at the moment to the point he's started calling himself the sperm donor...

I just read something that said to start preparing hospital bag at 32 weeks! That's not far away!

Also found these for those starting to think about nursing bras etc. http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/maternity-breastfeeding-nursing-bra-clips-clasps-convert-drop-cup-bra-/261494592709?pt=UK_Women_s_Underwear_Design_2&var=&hash=item3ce24ad4c5 . Have realised wired nursing bras seem few and far between and would like more support than non-wired offers big boobs! (besides- non-wired seem to make my boobs all conical- like Madonna circa 1990!)

teaandcakeordeath

Hugs daisi. Pregnancy blows! I keep chanting to myself 'eyes on the prize!' Your beautiful baby girl and whatever mine is will make all of this 100% worth it! Make sure you raise your knee while your icing it. I used tiger balm on my back the other week when my sciatica kicked off and it worked a treat- obviously check with your pharmacist/ GP if they recommend it for you. My GP was like 'don't eat it and don't put a whole pot on and you'll be fine!'

Is there anyway you can book a cheap hotel in London so you can do the wine tasting and not rush around/ leave early? I think the whole idea of such a long time off on mat leave is pretty daunting so you're not alone there. The majority of my friends are through work and we're mainly a hardcore mean bunch who take the mick out of other people who bring their babies in when they're on mat leave so I feel like I won't see them all for a year and then worry that when I do go back they'll all treat me as 'mum' rather than me....

xx

Peonie

TCD, I did reply to your earlier post but it seems not to have posted - grrr. The most important bit was: could you MIL the MW go with you to the appointment so you have someone on your side? The nightie is nice. Are you planning on wearing below?

Re bras, I ended up buying 2 of these: http://www.mothercare.com/Blooming-Marvellous-Maternity-Nursing-T-Shirt-Bra/LX3107,default,pd.html?dwvar_LX3107_color=White and http://www.mothercare.com/Blooming-Marvellous-Maternity-Sleep-Bra---2-Pack/LX5303,default,pd.html

lilmissreading

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/birthplace2011.htm

http://www.nhs.uk/news/2011/11November/Pages/hospital-births-home-births-compared.aspx

https://www.npeu.ox.ac.uk/birthplace

TCOD - :mad: know you are feeling better about the situation and glad to hear it but for PETE'S SAKE when will drs realise they are meant to be the expert on medical conditions and you are the expert on you so therefore only by combining information rather than dictating can you find the best outcome :mad:

BTW here is some useful information on home births (at the top as usual, blooming tablet formatting)

I understand about not being keen on hospitals. I have no experience with them particularly other than working in them but I do not like the idea of a medicalised birth. I want the minimum of intervention as I believe it is better for me and my baby. I am fortunate this is an option. If the mws could guarantee me a water birth and that I wouldn't be turfed out or it being unavailable I would be tempted by a mw led unit. Especially if I didn't have to stay in overnight (don't want to be left in hospital without DH).

I know birth plans are just that - plans not certainties and like yourself i will take medical advice offered but it should be informed and not some crackpot medic making sh*t up as he (assuming he?) goes along. 75%? Try 45% you biased numpty :mad:

Anyway if nothing else you can tell I wouldn't have been best impressed in your situation either! No need to rush into any decisions now - imagine you can go for a look round the different options? I am hoping we can.

Bless OH - they are not pg and don't have to give birth. How can they understand what we are facing? However surely normal male survival of 'oooh, upset beloved one, must nod, agree and placate with chocolate' should have kicked in? Tut tut.

lilmissreading

Peonie - thanks for mother care link.

Am booked into hospital class for 6 hours on a Sunday in August for free. NCT classes are 19 hours over 6 sessions. Am not going to NCT for information purposes but to make friends with people who have babies of the same age. All mums I know recommend them for the friends side, getting out the house and being local. Otherwise can be tough to find people in same boat etc.

Daisiegg - pg sucks. You are allowed to moan as much as possible. We are in it for the end not the journey. We all have pity parties and someone else's tough time does not make yours a walk in the park.

t2d - glad to hear you are taking it easy and keeping well.

PS tcod - it is not stupid to not feel like your self. DH turned to me in bewilderment the other day and said 'i can't believe you are ok incubating a foregin life form!' I asked him at what point I had indicated I was ok with it! Excited by what I hope the end will be but I ain't no saint on this journey! How can you feel like your self with all the physiological changes - hormones, changes in balance, energy levels, brain function, body shape etc and that doesn't include the change in how people see you and your life forever! :grouphug:

Peonie

I'm back from the doctors and the blood test results say I have anemia (sp?) and low iron levels and not a virus. So I have been given iron tablets. The doctor said low iron levels normally start later in pregnancy and will not go up on their own.

This time off has meant I could do some research into reusable nappies on the nappy lady website and I like the look of the bumgenius freetime for day use and bumgenius elemental for use at night as they are an all-in-one nappy. Initially we'll only buy 2 of the freetime and 1 of the elemental to see if we like them. We did some calculations and from birth to nappy buying 15 day and 5 night nappies, liners and night boosters would cost £620 if used exclusively but this does not include savings from buying the nappies or liners in bulk, reusing liners and the electricity and water costs. In comparison disposables would cost around £900. As I said, these were just quick calculations.

TCD, which did you buy?

teaandcakeordeath

Penoie- i bought these nappies http://www.fill-your-pants.com/nappysale/LL14.html. At the time they were £100 for 20 plus two wet nappy sacks- big one for house and small one for out and about. Also bought the bamboo boosters, bamboo breastpads and a second out and about wet bag. It was 20% off at the time so all together worked out about £100. I was going to buy fleece liners until my friend (a nappy guru on this site) said to buy ikea fleece blankets and cut them yourself...

Bluebell1000

Delurking from other thread..

TCOD, I had a home birth with DS1 and am planning a home birth with #2. My reasons were very similar to yours, though with less background of previous medical visits! I went around the hospital on a tour pre-birth, and just seeing it made me feel very stressed. I felt there was very little chance of me having a 'good' labour experience. I did transfer in after the birth because of a retained placenta, but it was very straightforward to transfer. I didn't have any arguments about my hb choice with DS1 but am meeting a fair bit of resistance this time, because of the retained placenta followed by blood transfusion, and I had a positive Group B Strep urine sample early in this pregnancy. I do feel that my treatment in hospital with DS1 did lead to medical interventions which probably wouldn't have been necessary at home (not to mention the lack of food, and no sleep while in there).

Unless there is a major risk to myself or baby then I will be staying home this time, even if it means going in afterwards again (though I hope it won't). Remember the hospital can only make recommendations, and your place of birth is entirely your choice. If you don't want to go in and talk to the consultant, don't go. There's plenty of research available online and just reading through will probably help you reach an informed decision without any pressure from doctors. They have a duty of care to you even if you don't follow their recommendations, so if you are firm in your choice of a home birth they must support you in that.