The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

ellesbellesxxx

Hello all!

Can I ask...do you all go through complete highs and lows - all the time?
It was my birthday this weekend and I know this sounds ridiculous, but I was up stupidly early worrying that it's never going to happen.
Statistically, I know it is highly probable it will happen at some point in the future but also, it is not guaranteed - and that is what is frightening me!
Hope you are all doing ok xxx

Just read your post Kellykins xxxxx hope you are doing ok, did you test Fri?XXX

lisawood78

I used to. Years ago. Now I'm at a point where I don't think we will ever be parents.
We are at a point now where never trying again is a distinct possibility.
BUT.
Part of me wants to try and try and try til we have to stop.
My Mum has not long been diagnosed with terminal cancer and she might not be here in a years time. My husband works and lives in another country and we see each other maybe 5 days in 30.
We have a car sat in the garage that is probably worth £60k and a huge part of me wants to sell it and just plow the money into more treatment.
BUT
if//when that fails too we are further down the line with nothing to show for it and suffering from our failures once more. After over 10 years treatment though, failure is the most likely outcome.
And now I'm rambling.
Sorry guys x

ellesbellesxxx

Ah Lisa, big hugs xxxx
I appreciate we are only a short way down the line compared to a lot of you, I can't even imagine the half of what you have had to go through so far.

I am so sorry to hear about your Mum

xx

pinkteapot

Elles - ups and downs are absolutely normal. I'm five years into TTC. We only had one IVF cycle because it affected me so badly that we can't face trying it again. We're unexplained infertility though so we can still try naturally.

I have times when I'm OK and times when I feel really low about it (pg announcement and scan/baby photos are a big trigger!). I don't know if this will help or not, but it does get a bit easier with time. I don't get down as often now and when I do it's not quite so bad.

This is a really terrible thing to say, but part of me wishes there had been something wrong and we weren't unexplained. Only because, if IVF had been the only option and it hadn't worked, we could have started to deal with things and move on (like a bereavement). I've talked about this with a friend who's in exactly that position. IVF failed for them a couple of years ago and it was awful, and they're not 'over it' of course, but they're moving forward. I feel like we've had five years of limbo and we still have the uncertainty that maybe we'll be parents. I increasingly believe we won't, but there's always that chance I guess.

Sometimes, like Lisa, I just want to stop trying. Though I think that's because I'm so sick of having no control over things that I want to take control in any way I can!

Rambling now! The point is... It absolutely is an emotional rollercoaster. All you can do is deal with each day as it comes. Enjoy the good days and be kind to yourself on the bad days. xx

Lisa - I am so sorry to hear about your mum.

chocoholic_chick

Afternoon ladies! Hope everyone is doing well and looking forward to the weekend


*Hugs* to those who are having a hard time at the moment, as others have said it really is a rollercoaster ride that just seems to be never ending. I have to admit I'm also another that thinks its never actually going to happen, I just think I'm going through the motions now and will be beyond shocked if it actually works. Maybe it's just a way of protecting ourselves, after years of disappointment you don't want to get your hopes up I suppose. Can't even remember when I started on this journey, end of 2012 I think!!


AF eventually showed up so started on the buserelin and going for another FET, seemed the sensible thing to do when we have 3 good blasts on ice. On day 3 of the injections now, scan on the 20th to see how things are going. So just waiting for all of the lovely side effects to kick in... yay.

Primmer

Choc Chick - hoping this round works for you, will be keeping my fingers crossed and hope side effects not too unpleasant for you.

I don't post often anymore but I still read the thread, I wanted to update you to say that my DH & I are adopting a 5 year my old boy. He has been living with us about 4 weeks and it is very hard work and tiring but will be worth it when all settles down a bit for all of us.

isla_red

Lisa - so sorry to hear about your Mum x

Choc - Fingers and toes crossed here for you, hope everything goes well.

Primmer - Congratulations! That's amazing news, hope he settles in okay.

cwtw

Lisa - sorry to hear about your mum. Hope you're doing as well as you can be. Take care.

Choc - good luck, hope things go according to plan from here on in!

Primmer - that's wonderful news, hope things settle down soon!

I've been back to see my consultant. Absolutely no explanation for why it didn't work this time apparently it was just bad luck. So I'm just waiting for af (next few weeks) and then we start the next cycle! Feeling a bit excited but scared too.

fannyanna

Hello Ladies,

I really hope you don't mind me posting on here completely out of the blue, I used to be a regular poster a number of years ago, but I feel like I need to get something off my chest but I don't really want to say it out loud in real life.

Facebook very kindly reminded me (you know the whole "your memories on FB" thing) this morning that we've reached our 5 year anniversary of trying for a baby. Ok, in fairness to FB they simply showed me a picture of an even that I associate with when we started trying.

My initial reaction was wow, I can't believe it's 5 years. That sucks.

But the twisted irony is that the picture FB wanted to remind me about was a picture of me holding a baby. Talk about kick a girl whilst she's down haha.

Anyway, apologies again for hijacking your thread.

ellesbellesxxx

Wow Fannyanna, f-book knows how to give a massive punch to the ovaries huh?:(:(:(
Hope you are doing ok xxxx

Thank you for your lovely reply pink xxx

Keeping fingers crossed Choc! XX

Primmer! That's amazing news and although you are exhausted, hope it's going well x

cwtw - fingers x for next time xx