The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

TamVilla80

Good luck! My OH is fortunately pretty good, when I list everything I've had to do and he has only had to do one (fairly easy to do!) job, then I think he feels guilty haha.

chocoholic_chick

Welcome 159

As others have said I think it's fairly standard to test the men folk first, the only tests I've had are CD3 and CD21 bloods. I was told that if a problem is identified with the man, the course of treatment would still be the same so it avoids the woman having to go through tests unnecessarily.

I think patience is needed when it comes to all this, it might be depending on waiting times, but we did have a bit of a wait ( and admittedly had to postpone our treatment for a while ). So our timeline was:

Dec 2013 - First appointment with GP. Scheduled in for CD3 and CD21 bloods. DH booked if for SA
End of Feb 2014 - Results from SA ( first appointment we could get ). DH had to have another SA
End of March 2014 - Results from second SA. Told we definitely needed ICSI, first appointment they had for the presentation/information meeting we had to attend was in approximately 18 weeks
June 2014 - Attended presentation evening
End of July 2014 - Appointment to discuss treatment plan.

So we were due to start ICSI last summer but had to put it on hold for personal reasons, but from the initial appointment with our GP to starting treatment would have been around 8 months due to waiting times. As I said this will vary depending, just don't be too disheartened if it takes a few months for appointments etc

vesper

Well this has been the weekend from hell, and I have no idea where it leaves us.


Friday morning we were ready to move, got everything packed into car. We were moving as we decided to downsize to start saving for a deposit for our own house and be near his work. Hubby turns up at flat, knocks on door. No answer. The landlord finally comes out of the flat half a hour later. Now here's the fun bit, its no longer available. So essentially right now we have no home, I have had to move into my parents, and him into his until we can find some where new.


Unhappy is not the word I want to use.

chocoholic_chick

OMG vesper that's terrible! Had you signed a tenancy agreement? If so surely that's a binding contract? I know it's a small thing but at least you's have somewhere to stay until you get something sorted, I hope you find somewhere soon xx

vesper

Yes but we didn't get a copy so can't prove anything.
I don't know how long it will take to find somewhere else as there's no where round here. Looks as though we are going to struggle as OH has a poor credit rating, and most letting agents won't consider me as I am self employed.
The only thing we have going for us is that we have enough money saved up to pay a deposit and 6 months rent in advance.


In the mean time things aren't great, my parents and his live 20 miles apart and neither parents likes their -in law. So looks as though we won't see each other for a while. When I looked earlier the only house that was in our area isn't even available for another month. The house is perfect for us, but it will mean me closing my business as its too far to drive to where I work out of. Its just all a big mess. Luckily we hardly had any belongings as had decided most of our stuff was on its last legs and were going to replace it all.

lauraw82

Gosh Vesper, that's awful, I guess it was a private rental agreement? Is there nothing you can do? Just hope you can get something permanent sorted soon xx

Hope everything is going ok with the drugs Choc and Frozenpenguin, fingers crossed for good news in a few weeks!

Welcome to anyone who finds themselves here, hopefully you won't need to be here too long!

AFM I think I'm gonna be here for a bit yet! Due either AF or positive test over the weekend, surprise surprise a bit fat no on both counts! Exactly like last time. I'm not convinced its worked anyway, but I'd like to know sooner rather than later so I can crack on with the next lot of evil drugs!

tea_lover

Oh vesper that's awful, you poor things! Could you maybe try calling a solicitor for some advice (they may take pity on you and give you a few minutes free). Seems awful that people can get away with that!

Do you have any correspondence with them, emails or similar?

TamVilla80

Oh no Vesper, hope you get sorted soon!


So tired today, do you think anyone would notice if I just slept behind my computer at work today? Had a lovely weekend planned, trip to Cornwall with an overnight stay and AF came along and ruined it all. Seriously, how can she not been seen for months and then pick the one weekend to come when I really didn't want to see her - typical!?!


Can someone wake me up in time for lunch?...zzz...zzz

frozenpenguin

Oh vesper, that's awful! I agree with tea, a solicitor or perhaps try the Citizens Advice Bureau? They might be able to point you in the right direction even if they can't help themselves.

Hello 159, sorry you find yourself here but I hope your stay is short. I can pop you onto the list if you like? I think it's fairly standard practice to test the man first (although I know, it doesn't make it any easier), unfortunately all the faffing about and waiting around is just one more sh!tty part to an already pretty carpy journey. And no, it's not just your OH, I think a large amount of them are like that! (mine took 6 weeks before he even rang up to book a SA, only to be told there was a 6 week wait!)


Hope you scan looks good tomorrow chocoholic xx


Hugs to you all xxx

pinkteapot

vesper - as cr*p as things are right now, you've probably had a lucky escape. Any landlord who would behave that unprofessionally is not a landlord you want. Imagine what they'd be like if you needed a repair made! Really hope you find something else soon.

If letting agents are a problem because of employment and credit problems, look in the local paper for private landlords advertising direct. There are some good ones out there (it's a bit daunting picking around the rubbish ones, but have a chat with them when you view) and they can be more flexible on credit checks etc than agencies.

159 - welcome, but sorry that you find yourself here. When we first went to our GP, we went to the appt together and they gave me forms for day 3 and 21 blood tests, and DH a form for a sperm analysis. So they did the initial tests on both of us simultaneously.

In our area at least, before the GP can refer you in to a hospital consultant for more thorough tests, they need to get the day 3/21 bloods and the SA results. They went off with our referral.

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it was after that that we had our biggest wait. Several months to the see the consultant. Once in though, they did our tests and referred us on for IVF pretty quickly.