The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

bigmomma051204

Congrats Claret :j

Hi All. Its been a while :cool: Hope you are all "okay" - hopefully there are lots of new people because the old lot I knew on here previously have all been successful and are up the duff

I felt I needed to step away as things just haven't happened how they should/could have done...

As you may remember, I first went to GP's last Sept (2013) to ask for referral to fertility people. Well, due to being passed around the wrekin, I am STILL waiting for the first appt with them. Its in November. It all went a bit wrong partly because I went via the gynae service (GP didnt want to refer straight to fertility peeps) - they made me go through the waiting game - had scan, showed i had a large 5cm cyst on my only remaining ovary (other was removed when i was 13yrs) and since they found that, they have fannied around not wanting to send me for HSG then changing their minds, then back again ( still havent had one!) Then sent me for an MRI to see how messed up the cyst is (pretty messed up lol!)

The laughable fact is that they already KNEW all of this years ago - yes the cyst has grown, as they tend to, but it was there for the past 10 years!
So only 15months after initial GP visit, I will be going for first appt with infertility people at beginning of November.

Stupidly, I was doing really well after I visited GP initially - started losing weigh (lost 1.5stone), stopped smoking completely.. hubby stopped smoking completely. But the whole drawn out process of getting nowhere at all has totally demoralised us and made us almost feel like giving up (before we have even started!) I have put the weight right back on, hubby started smoking again (i havent started smoking again though...)
I have been put onto high blood pressure tablets as it was really high when I had it checked - my work is fairly stressful, but mainly the only thing I am stressed, upset and heartbroken about is the TTC... And then to rub salt into the wounds, at last gynae appt they were being full on about the HBP and saying that I needed to sort out my stress levels because otherwise they wont want to help with TTC - when I tried to say that I am mainly stressed because I asked for HELP over 12months earlier and am NO further forward, they poo pooed this

I have almost given up, my sex drive has all but disappeared... hubby has to be coerced into sex - and I don't mean that in a slightly funny way..I literally have to talk him into sex with me - AND he is now struggling to maintain an erection during sex because he says that he just feels so much pressure. And I know people would say "just try and stop stressing and wait etc" BUT we REALLY don't have that time - I am 32 in a month with only one ovary and a cyst on the poor little b*gger that remains - added to hubbies low count, we need to have some blooming help asap!

Sorry for the rant girls - it was supposed to be an update....... :(:(:(:(:(

picklekin

Ack Bigmomma, it should like your doctors really need to sort their shizzle out. What are you next steps?

Congratulations Claretgirl, that sounds lovely.

I had some spotting last night, and thought all was over, but now its gone again. I'm not even sure I dare to hope now ...:( OTD is Thursday...

PS - what the HELL is going on on the board!?

codemonkey

Aww bigmomma, that sounds horrendous. No wonder you're stressed out. TTC is so hard at the best of times and men are such delicate creatures and its not easy to just 'relax' that the whole thing becomes a massive stress bomb.

So here's what needs to be done. Doctors like it if you're seen to be co-operating with whatever crap they're spouting. So if they tell you you need to reduce your stress levels then use it as an excuse to go for full body massages, accupuncture, whatever you want. Not because it will be a magic key but so when they ask, you can say that you've taken those steps. Second, your appointment is in November which isn't all that far away. So you need to get the weightloss back on track, because they're a lot more relaxed about bmi limits when you tell them you're on a diet (this is healthy weightloss not doing what I did which was a panic crash diet involving a lot of eggs which didn't work anyway). DH needs to quit smoking too. As your appointment is in a month, and you're living in a pressure cooker, why not take a break from actively trying this month and take some pressure off? 32 is not that old, even with the cyst, you still have plenty of time and one month isn't going to make a diffence. Just until you're less stressed and it feels less like a chore.

I realise this is going to read like a massive 'just relax' post but its not. You sound like you're at exploding point and you need to look after yourself.

Massive hugs.

codemonkey

picklekin wrote: »

Ack Bigmomma, it should like your doctors really need to sort their shizzle out. What are you next steps?

Congratulations Claretgirl, that sounds lovely.

I had some spotting last night, and thought all was over, but now its gone again. I'm not even sure I dare to hope now ...:( OTD is Thursday...

PS - what the HELL is going on on the board!?

Progesterone spotting? When it OTD?

picklekin

Thursday... Had a few cramps now and more blood, its still dark brown for now but.....

codemonkey

Oh sweetie. I'll keep my fingers crossed its the elusive implantation bleed.

picklekin

T-Rex on standby?

pinkteapot

*de-lurks*

(((hugs))) pickle, I know exactly how you're feeling. Keeping everything crossed as you can have bleeding and still get a BFP. It's not over till it's over. T-rexes on standby, just in case.

What is the collective name for a group of T-rexes?

tea_lover

A roar of T-rexes? A stampede?

picklekin

Caved - POAS - BFN of course