The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

codemonkey

I think going to that party was a mistake. My friend was there with her baby and although I can handle it on a one to one/two basis, it was harder when the baby was the focus of attention of everyone in the room. I really thought in time it would stop hurting but there was an older lady there who couldn't have children and she said it was her only regret and she was still heartbroken - you could see it every time she looked at the baby. And then of course, the yummy mummy stuff. Ugh, I hate that.

Also because DH acts like he's fine with it all, I think I forget that he's really not and it hurts him too. He was really good with the baby and that was hard to see and he was so sad. It was a relief when we left - ridiculously early, then we ended up having cuddles with the dog on the sofa.

Scottie_dog

pinkteapot wrote: »

scottie - it is really scary so we all understand. It's the worry that the tests might show a problem.

So you know what to expect when you do it, here's what we had to do, but again different NHS areas vary:

We both went to the GP and he referred us to a hospital consultant. The referral had to go off with some test results. OH just had to do a sample in a pot. I had two blood tests if I remember rightly, on different days of my monthly cycle. At the consultant appt they told us the results of those, and booked me in for a scan that checks whether your Fallopian tubes are blocked. I think that was all the tests. They'll then tell if something is wrong or if you have "unexplained infertility" and you can go from there.


That process takes a good few months by the time you've done the first blood tests and waited for your consultant appt.

Take your time. My post was mainly out of concern for you spending money on alternative therapies without knowing if they might work. x

Thanks. It is scary but we do think its best to get the ball rolling now. I realise it will probably take a while for tests and stuff, sometimes it can take a week just to get an appt at my GP surgery.
We have been quite relaxed about ttc so far, we just remain hopeful every month.

Scottie_dog

codemonkey wrote: »

Scottie - don't wish to scare you but we tried for 3 years without any medical intervention only to discover, when we finally gave in, that DH has a zero sperm count. So that's 2 years of trying, peeing on ovulation sticks, bding when they were positive whether we wanted to or not, wasting god knows how much money on vitamins and herbal remedies, and the hope and heartbreak every month. I'm not saying this will be the case for you (the condition DH has is very rare) but if there is a reason why its not happening, then its best to know so you can deal with it, and if its a timing issue they can help with that too.

Just a warning though - GPs don't seem to know much about fertility. I had one tell me to go and BD on day 14 of my cycle, despite the fact I have long cycles and don't ov til at least day 21 usually. The next time I went back to see a different doctor, I went in fully armed - this is how long my cycles are, I ovulate on this day and so on and he still explained day 21 progesterone wrong. I had to do cd2 and 7dpo blood tests and have a swab and DH had to give 2 samples over a month iirc before they'd refer us to the clinic.

Thanks for the advice Codemonkey.
Your post has been very helpful and i will take all my info to the doc.
It's been such a revelation to speak to people who understand how difficult life can be when ttc with no results. I have watched 3 friends and a work mate announce they are ttc and they now all have their babies, one friend has announced she's ttc again as she wants her family to be close in age. This is all in the timeframe we have been ttc and they keep saying " when are you 2 going to have a baby" or "don't you want a family soon?". I brush their questions off with answers such as "maybe" or "we are not in any rush to start a family". I'm so glad we didn't announce we are trying to ttc, like all my friends did, because we chose not to tell anyone (apart from 1 friend who we told last month) I feel as though I can "hold it together" and keep calm.
I'm sending you a virtual hug x

ricegirl145

Hi all, hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I know what you mean Scottie dog, all the ladies on this forum are so lovely, helpful and supportive. It really does help to have people to talk to that understand what you're going through. We have been trying for about 15 months too. Only person who knows is my best friend and I'm so glad I'm not being asked constantly as its hard enough dealing with it myself without the expectation of anyone else to cope with.

Thanks for all the replies re the alcohol consumption. I sometimes do it just to avoid awkward questions from anyone when I'm out. I couldn't cope if people noticed me not drinking and started speculating that I was pregnant.

pinkteapot

Had my next scan and egg collection will be Friday or Monday - yikes!

shrimpy_80

Hi all, hope everyone is enjoying the rainy bank holiday!

Scottiedog and ricegirl, I've been trying for 15 months too and am getting asked more and more why we don't have kids yet. There is a lady who works in our supermarket who asks very time she sees us as she knows we got married last year, DH has to be on lookout for her every week so we can avoid her. I can't handle it at all when people ask me, I'm rubbish at it. The odd remark is one thing but a few people have been incredible persistent! Quite a few of our friends know we are TTC because I found it easier to deal with that way but they also know my medical history so I'm lucky in the sense that they assume there is a problem and I don't get any insensitive questions from them.

Can I ask those who have been referred how long it took to get an appointment through (as in when you first heard from the hospital/consultant)? We had our initial tests back in June and were supposedly being referred then, I chased it up last month and the Dr said she would chase it for us but I strongly got the feeling the referral hadn't been sent for various reasons. I realise there will be a wait for the appointment but thought I would get the actual letter through reasonably quickly if you know what I mean? Am I just being impatient?

shrimpy_80

Pinkteapot - sounds like everything is going well, how are you feeling?

codemonkey

pinkteapot wrote: »

Had my next scan and egg collection will be Friday or Monday - yikes!

Yay. Thinking good egg thoughts for you. I'd do the egg dance, but the weight loss has reversed again and I don't think the silver suit would be flattering anymore.

shrimpy_80 wrote: »

Hi all, hope everyone is enjoying the rainy bank holiday!


Can I ask those who have been referred how long it took to get an appointment through (as in when you first heard from the hospital/consultant)? We had our initial tests back in June and were supposedly being referred then, I chased it up last month and the Dr said she would chase it for us but I strongly got the feeling the referral hadn't been sent for various reasons. I realise there will be a wait for the appointment but thought I would get the actual letter through reasonably quickly if you know what I mean? Am I just being impatient?

It's not a bank holiday in Scotland. So jealous. I quite like rainy bank holidays. It's a great excuse to eat junk and watch rubbish on tv while you hide under a blanket on the couch.

Our referral took ages to come through and it turned out that the letter had got lost in the post. If I hadn't called, I'd have missed the appointment. I think it took 12 weeks to send out the appointment though.

frozenpenguin

Oooh exciting times pink! Hope the last few days aren't too uncomfortable for you xx


rice girl - I've not drunk anything at all the whole time (the last bit of alcohol I had was Sept last year) but I wasn't the sort of person who drank a lot anyway so no-one thought it was unusual. Our clinic said that the odd glass of wine won't do too much harm in the beginning, in fact if it makes you feel less stressed then go for it.


Scottie dog and rice girl - we didn't announce we were TTC to anyone but since having our first appointment with the FS in Feb 2013, if anyone has asked we've told them straight out. I've also been quite public with it on my blog and on Instagram. We've found that because we've been quite open about it, people don't ask us all the usual dreaded questions and if anyone does say the old chestnut of 'when are you having kids?', I just reply with 'when our IVF works!'. It usually takes them by surprise and then they never ask again!


I do think it's whatever you feel most comfortable with though, if keeping it to yourself works for you then that's excellent and you have my utmost respect! xx


Shrimpy - being referred from the local GP to the fertility clinic was about 8 weeks from appointment to appointment (Dec 2012 to Feb 2013). Being referred to the IVF chief consultant to get a timeline and collect our IVF drugs took about 6 weeks from appointment to appointment (Oct 2013 to Dec 2013).
I do live in the Somerset countryside though and my clinic isn't that busy so it may well be longer for other clinics. Always worth ringing them up and chasing it though!

Hugs to you all on this rainy Monday xxx

frozenpenguin

IVF/ICSI/IUI/FET cycles currently ongoing

• pinkteapot: LP. DR (Buserelin) 24/7. Stims (Gonal F) 17/8. EC 29/8 or 1/9 (tbc)
• frozenpenguin: Endo scratch 14/8. DR (Buserelin) 16/8. FET Sept/Oct
• Picklekin: Endo scratch 27/8. DR (Buserelin) 27/8

Floaty: Appointment 27/8
Fairy dust: Endo scratch 9/7. IVF September
Gettingthereslowly: Planning a FET in September
Goodvibes: Further treatment September, working on improved SA at present
Isla_red: Further treatment Jan 2015


Ovulation induction
cwtw: Started Clomid March 2014. IVF appointment September.
Littleme82: Clomid. HSG looks fine, FS appointment 04/03/14, extended for 3 months.
MrsDavo: Clomid (150mg) and Metformin (1500mg) to try and induce ovulation, Next appt 7/8/14.


Awaiting FS/other appointment or making alternative plans
becks92: Planning to lose 5kg and then get IVF referral
emmaj30: Fertlity appointment 18/9
Clevernamehere: On IVF list
Gelly123: Trying naturally
GlasweJen: Surrogacy preparation.
lisawood78: Surrogate appointment 12/8. Waiting for counselling appointments. Cycle and transfer planned for Oct
lauraw82: Appointment 24/9
mrsvicx: Trying naturally
ricegirl145: Appointment in Sept
Ruth26: Waiting for a scan then referral to FS. Chasing up DH's SA.
Scottie dog: Trying naturally and making appointment with the doctor for tests
shrimpy_80: Waiting for appointment
TamVilla80: Lap & Dye and Hysteroscopy 18/8
vesper: Lap and dye to be arranged then possibly Clomid
Wonder_Woman: Investigating drugs for DH


Recent graduates:

• Danielley: LP. DR (Buserelin injections) 4/6. Stims (Merionel) 29/6. EC 9/7, 16 eggs collected, 11 fertilised. 1x5d ET 14/7. 21/07/14
• Carrot34: Natural 19/07/14
• Jammy26: Started Clomid (50mg) Jan 14. Diagnosed Fibroids. 19/06/14
• loveactually: LP. DR (Buserelin) 14/2. Stims 10/03. EC 26/3, 8 eggs collected, 2 fertilised. 1x5d ET 31/3. 11/04/14
• Star02: ICSI SP. Stims 5/3. EC 17/3, 17 eggs collected, 14 fertilised. 1x5d ET 22/3. 31/03/14
• Angeltreats: Natural 28/03/14
• Tinkwings: Monitored cycle. 23/03/14
• Chickpea: Natural 21/03/14
• Sewit: IVF LP. DR 13/1 Prostap. AMH4, Gonal F 375. Endo Scratch 3/1 (CD12). EC 10/02. 17 eggs, 8 embies. ET 13/2. 2x3dET 13/2. 26/02/14
• Whattodonow: IVF LP. DR 15/12. Stims 4/1. EC 17/1. 19 eggs collected, 16 fertilised. 1x5dET 22/1. 225iu Merional 02/02/14
• Time2deal: ICSI SP. Stims 3/1. EC 15/1. 9 eggs collected. 5 fertilised. 1x5dET 20/01 AMH 6.6. 450iu Menopur + Centrotide. 01/02/14
• Peonie: IVF SP. Stim 1/1. EC 15/1. 13 eggs collected. 8 fertilized. 1x5dET 20/01. 31/01/14
• teaandcakeordeath: Natural from 'just relaxing'! 26/01/14
• Purcy81: Natural 7/12/2013