The Trials & Tribulations of Trying to Conceive when its just not happening (12m+)

Carrot34

Hi ladies.
Can I rejoin you. I had an EPRC on Wednesday as the pregnancy stopped progressing at about 6weeks apparently (I was 11weeks).
Although we aren't ready to start trying again just now (risk it may have been a molar pregnancy) i am looking to try again once gives the go ahead.

Has been a tough couple weeks. I'm sad that we have lost the innocence of trying.
I hope you are all well and I'll catch up on where everyone is soon

emmaj30

Thank you frozen penguin and benhope!! sending out baby dust to everyone here.. xxxxxxxxx

lisawood78

Sorry to hear your news Carrot x

isla_red

Hugs to you frozen hope you and OH are looking after each other

PM hope you are getting on okay with the injections and don't have to stay on them for too long

Sorry to hear your news carrot

Hugs to all those that need them, we really need some more good news in here!

vesper

Part_Mouse wrote: »

Gts I hope the time comes round quick for your appt.

Vesper it sounds life you've got a lot going on besides ttc so feel free to vent when you need to we're all here to support each other.

Thanks Part mouse, just been having one of those months when everything accumulates and becomes too much. Doesn't help that I don't tend to see OH that much anymore as he works long shifts and I don't have any friends in the village I live in, so don't have anyone to talk to face to face.


Question, when they say you can't have s.e.x for 3 weeks after a Hysteroscopy, I presume they really mean it. I am meant to OV sometime this week and it's annoying that we can't do anything this month to even ttc. (Not that I am saying I want to ignore doctors advice).

benhope

Carrot, your story echoes mine last October. At 11 weeks, after bleeding at just gone 6 weeks and three weeks of scans we were told it was over then what they call here SMM but the same thing.
Huge big hugs. Xxx

Dh got home Friday and I'm surprised that cbfm shows a high today at cd17 with a smiley face on the test stick too. Needless to say, we'll make the most of it tonight.
Fingers crossed. Xxx

isla_red

Hi everyone,

Sorry for being AWOL since our BFN. I have been reading every day keeping you all in my thoughts and dipping in when I felt able.

Naively I guess I thought that we might be lucky and be successful with our first round of ICSI - you've got to have hope eh?! I'm now in a bit of a predicament and I hope you don't mind me asking you your opinion.

I had to use annual leave as our treatment is classed as elective so I cannot get medical leave. As my work annual leave calendar runs until December 31st this has left me with just enough days to have time off at Christmas and maybe a short holiday later in the year. Our clinic has contacted us saying that we can restart treatment but if we restart then there will be no opportunity for a break at all this year.

I've found treatment to be a complete brain melter and I worry that if we do another cycle and it is unsuccessful that being unable to take any sort of holiday until 2015 will be too much as the leave I used on our last cycle was spent with me curled up in the sofa in discomfort and not able to to do much.

Can any of your lovely ladies offer any advice? I just can't decide what's the best thing to do.

Peonie

Isla, do you have any embryos to use for a frozen cycle rather than a fresh cycle? I guess that a frozen cycle may mean less hospital appointments(???). I would find that out and take it into consideration. Otherwise, are you able to take unpaid holidays?

isla_red

It would be a fresh cycle and I'm not sure how my boss would feel about me requesting unpaid leave when I have adequate annual leave to cover the new cycle.

I also should mention that OH is currently unemployed so I would be reluctant to go the unpaid route for that reason too.

pinkteapot

isla:

Firstly, can you get signed off sick for part of the cycle? Specifically EC to ET? My clinic said I shouldn't work for a couple of days after EC, and preferably not until ET. When we have treatment, I'm going to see if they'll give me a fit note, signing me off for those days. I also can't use sick leave for fertility treatment, but work said if I'm signed off sick then I'm signed off sick and they have to pay me! Most employers liability insurance won't let them have people who are medically signed off in the building. If the clinic won't sign me off, I do have a lovely GP who I'm sure would. I'm a good worker - I'm never off sick and I do more than my hours. Not going to feel guilty.

If that won't work - if you've no choice but to use leave, then I'd probably give thought to waiting till Jan for round 2.

Our IVF NHS referral came up in late March, but we'd just moved house and a cycle was just going to fit in before our holiday in June. Having just moved, I wasn't at all in the headspace to have a cycle, and was also worried we'd end up having to cancel our desperately-needed holiday if the cycle took longer than the average. We postponed until we get back and I'm so pleased we did. I feel psyched up for it now, you know?

I think it simply comes down to how you feel though - can you get through the year without a break? Are you in the right place mentally to try again?