Who should pay for bridesmaids dresses?

74jax

I paid for my bridesmaid dresses also. I picked colour and style, sent a photo and asked what they thought. One didn't like, so I looked again, and got two beautiful dresses they loved.

They did give me them back to resell but I said they could keep them if they wanted.

They used own shoes.

I bought hair accessories and paid for hair and make up and matching bags.

I can't imagine never mentioning the cost then saying 'is that ok' and over text too......

Make sure she doesn't expect shoes, bags, hair etc

If I didnt expect to pay I would text back saying unfortunately no mention of me paying was ever said. I'll speak to bride to clarify.
Does she know hubby2b has done this?

inklove

We did wonder about the "remaining balance" bit.

When they ordered the dresses in the shop they had to pay a deposit, we suspect that they are using that deposit to cover payment for the teenage sisters dresses and that they expect us to pay for our own.

I would have been absolutely fine with paying for my own shoes and accessories but I feel really put out having to pay for the dress.
If there had been a prior conversation about it that would have been fine but there wasn't.

I know I'm going to have to talk to them about it but it's going to be really awkward.

74jax

inklove wrote: »

I know I'm going to have to talk to them about it but it's going to be really awkward.

It's really not going to be as bad as you think.

No mention of you paying was ever said. So of course you would question it.

I'd reply soon though, so they know it's not ok.

krustylouise

Has your friend mentioned about accessories/make up/hair? Are you wearing your own shoes and doing your own hair make up? Or does she expect you to get tem done professionally? Hopefully the dress situation is a heads up for any other financial surprises!

floss2

I paid for my BM's dress, which I then gave to her as she goes to formal occasions where she could wear it again (cocktail, not frilly dress ). She bought her shoes & bag. I paid for her hair, she did her own make-up whilst I was having mine done. She wore her own pearl earrings and borrowed my mums pearls to wear.

TBH, I think a quick phone call to the shop might be in order, to find out exactly how much is owing on your dress, and if you can afford it then pay that (assuming its less than £84) - then you can honestly tell your friend's OH that "Oh mine is all paid for"...

Bella73

To be honest I think your friend is totally out of order.

We paid for our three bridesmaids dresses, shoes, cute pretty cardigans for the little ones, tiaras, flowers, hair everything ourselves. We had my chief bridesmaid and two younger girls.

The only thing my chief bridesmaid supplied was her own shoes as she had a lovely suitable pair anyway and she offered to pay to have a bust thing fitted to her dress so she could go bra less as it was strapless.

I think this trend of making your bridesmaid pay is just rude. If you can't afford them then don't have them, and no we are not loaded but saved up.

You need to remember that the dresses will probably need alterations too...are they expecting you to lay for that as well?

You need to speak to the bride as soon as possible, all this should have been sorted before anything was chosen. If you can't afford it you might have to offer to pull out, it's not worth getting into debt over it, plus you need to know now if there are any other things she might have "forgotten" to mention ie

Hair
Makeup
Shoes
Accessories such as necklace, tiara
Flowers
Something like a pashmina (depending on time of year)
As I said it should all be provided but as they have sprung this on you, maybe not.

comeandgo

I think your friends other half has the wrong end of the stick. A bride does not get dresses for her bridesmaids and then expect them to pay for them. It could also be a little joke he is playing to gently wind you all up? Check with her.

inklove

Accessories, shoes, hair and make up have not been discussed, the dress had not even been mentioned until a few days before we went to the shop to try it on, they just sent out texts to check everyone was free and asked us to meet them at the shop at 2pm. That was the first time anything had been discussed at all since we were all asked to be bridesmaids in May.

It's not a joke or a wind up, my friend and her OH are one of those couples that do everything together and discuss everything, and the message was signed with both their names. I have no doubt it is serious.

That's a good idea about calling the shop, I will do that now.

inklove

I called the shop.

The dresses are actually £84 each. They paid a deposit which covers the price of two dresses (the teen sisters).
They told the shop that the other three bridesmaids would be paying for the dresses individually.

I really don't know how I am going to have this conversation with my friend, we never discuss money, it's going to be so uncomfortable.

katie1812

We paid for our three bridesmaids' dresses. We did get lucky tho and managed to get them on eBay, was a risk but so pleased I took it! One was 22, 16 and 14... Felt harsh asking my best friend to pay for hers and then the other two girls' mums paying for theirs so we paid for them all to keep it fair!