Toys, toys, toys and anxiety!

Georgiegirl256

jamiefly wrote: »

Sorry I forgot I was communicating with a bunch of perfect people.

where in my text have I blamed my wife for the fall. Stop trolling.

How ironic, you accuse other people of trolling when I think it might be you who is the one that's doing a teeny bit of trolling yourself? I might be wrong of course, but you sure do have an attitude problem, that's one thing for sure.

People are offering advice to you but you're only seeing problems instead of solutions. Can you not take advice on board?

claire16c

Why dont you just send the parcels back to Amazon? You dont have to keep accepting them! Refuse to sign for them, or if you have time, go onto the amazon account, print out the return thing - or it might come in the box it came in I cant remember, and just take them all to the post office and ship them all back. She'll soon get the message.

notanewuser

claire16c wrote: »

Why dont you just send the parcels back to Amazon? You dont have to keep accepting them! Refuse to sign for them, or if you have time, go onto the amazon account, print out the return thing - or it might come in the box it came in I cant remember, and just take them all to the post office and ship them all back. She'll soon get the message.

Or better still cancel the orders. He has her login details.

kazwookie

1. car boot the excess
2. excess to local charity shop
3. excess to local children's home
4. excess to local children's hospital
5. refuse to sign for any more parcels from amazon
6. ebay the stuff

balletshoes

claire16c wrote: »

Why dont you just send the parcels back to Amazon? You dont have to keep accepting them! Refuse to sign for them, or if you have time, go onto the amazon account, print out the return thing - or it might come in the box it came in I cant remember, and just take them all to the post office and ship them all back. She'll soon get the message.

I wouldn't do that - but I would leave all the parcels unopened and stacked up at my OH's side of the bedroom, for her to deal with when she got home.

OP if the toys are misused/discarded by your kids, remove some of them and put them in the loft/dry outbuildings. Toddlers have the attention span of gnats, so box up all the toys (stackaboxes are your friend at that age ) and bring out one box for each child, in one room, so they can play with them. If they don't want to play with the toys in that box anymore, they help you to tidy them away back into their box before you get another box out for them. I had one box for the bedroom and one for the living room when my DD was little, and it was swapped around for other toys she owned (hidden in my room cupboards) frequently, but because it was still one box to play with, it wasn't a big mess to tidy up.

As others have said, you are in charge of the household for the vast majority of the time, so you can make rules/routines about what happens in the house when you are there alone with the kids.

LannieDuck

I think you have options here:

1. Ask your wife to seriously consider the MD position. It sounds as if she misses the children and you have enough money that a drop in salary won't be difficult to absorb. If you're worried about the drop in income, maybe you can manage part-time work to make up the salary difference if you know your wife won't be stuck in airports so often?

2. Stop unpacking the new toys. Either make a month's pile of them to show your wife or just send them back.

3. With less coming into the house it should be easier to deal with the broken toys that are already there. Do it a bit at a time - find somewhere to put partial jigsaws/games that your kids can't get at, then slowly reunite the pieces as you find them. Seal them up and put them away, or put them in a box for charity shop. Or you could freecycle them if you don't have time to drop them at the charity shop.

4. From your descriptions it sounds very possible (to someone who's totally not medically trained!) that your depression/mental health issues may stem from feeling so out of control at home. This is something I can empathise with. My OH and I tidy the toys in the living room at the end of every day - I find it hard to relax with chaos around me.

I know how difficult it can be to find time to do chores during the day with a 2-year-old. Do your kids go to bed at a reasonable time? Could you spend 30 mins each evening for one week getting the living room sorted? Once you have one room that you can keep mostly calm, you might find that your mood improves?

jamiefly

Georgiegirl256 wrote: »

How ironic, you accuse other people of trolling when I think it might be you who is the one that's doing a teeny bit of trolling yourself? I might be wrong of course, but you sure do have an attitude problem, that's one thing for sure.

People are offering advice to you but you're only seeing problems instead of solutions. Can you not take advice on board?

No that's not the case at all. People are only to quick to criticise and have others drive the point home. Flattering each other liking posts that have offer no help to me at all. I've stumbled across a bunch of munsnetters.

Caroline thank you for the considerate post.

My life involves looking after my children and being hosed down with lots and lots of money every month and an even bigger jackpot come April (bonus time I get half net pay) I tell her I want balance and she threatens to quit her job and work in Sainsbury's (itself a stressful job). She keeps telling me how lucky I am (typing this sitting in my twelve month old £37k sports car which I am changing next week for a more practical £45k big car next week). Does not stop me crying a lot. It's miserable.

jamiefly

notanewuser wrote: »

Or better still cancel the orders. He has her login details.

I don't it's tied to her mobile. Parcels get left in the porch (safe area).

FBaby

So our is about more than the toys! You have been given ideas and suggestions but haven't commented much on these.

balletshoes

jamiefly wrote: »

No that's not the case at all. People are only to quick to criticise and have others drive the point home. Flattering each other liking posts that have offer no help to me at all. I've stumbled across a bunch of munsnetters.

Caroline thank you for the considerate post.

My life involves looking after my children and being hosed down with lots and lots of money every month and an even bigger jackpot come April (bonus time I get half net pay) I tell her I want balance and she threatens to quit her job and work in Sainsbury's (itself a stressful job). She keeps telling me how lucky I am (typing this sitting in my twelve month old £37k sports car which I am changing next week for a more practical £45k big car next week). Does not stop me crying a lot. It's miserable.

Was your wife always this way, since you got married? Did she always have the work ethic she has now, has she always been earning this kind of money? What about you? Was it planned that you would be the stay-at-home parent all along?

Forget the toys and the clutter they create for a moment (you've had loads of practical tips on how to deal with that) - what would be your preference, how do you think the balance could be struck in your marriage and family life, so you are all more content than you all are now?