Toys, toys, toys and anxiety!

FBaby

Come on this is not a helpless situation! If your wife won't hear a world then you'll need to be organised. Looking after a 2 yo is not such a full time job that you can't do anything else at all. For all be toys that come put them away and then decide when they can be handed. In regards to the current ones arrange a clearing out day with your kids and make it fun. Or it could be one day per toy. The game is to find all the pieces put in box get sticker to put on box decide which charity it can go to. So much learning that can go into this task. Teaching you're kids to tidy up now will really help you later. Kids love getting involved in projects so you can really make it fun. It's all about organisation and ideally you could organise it with your wife when she is home.

z.n

Sounds like your wife really loves and misses her children when she is away. It must be a horrible pressure for her even though her job sounds like it presses all the 'pre-parent' buttons. Whenever she thinks of the children, misses them, feels guilty for not being there a quick click on Amazon might feel like the only option at 3 in the morning in a foreign hotel room. Getting angry about the mess will not resolve much- it might help you but will not ease her stress or likely jealousy that you get to be with them all the time.

It might be better to think of other ways to do things for the children. eg an online scrap book showing them the places Mummy has been/ family photo albums/recording and emailing bedtime stories. ie something that does not result in a house full of toot, builds something that can be appreciated over time and requires time. Put the money in a separate bank account to be used to support the childrens hobbies/school trips when they get bigger -something just for them in other words. There will be much more joy in enabling them to do something they love than contribute to an overflowing pile of plastic bits.

jamiefly

Panda78 wrote: »

What do you actually do come xmas and birthdays? They must feel like a bit of a let down when there is a constant stream of toys all year round.

I'm sure your wife has good intentions, but no amount of toys make up for the parent not being there. Your kids want their mum, but they have to learn that parents need to work. 3 weeks in 4 overseas doesnt sound compatible with a family to me. Maybe time to start job hunting, as over indulging kids with presents is going to make for very demanding teenagers and young adults! Nothing worse than a spoilt child IMO.

She has been looking for a UK based role and is about to be offered an MD role which she is going to turn down as the package is substantially less than what she is earning now.

GobbledyGook

jamiefly wrote: »

She has been looking for a UK based role and is about to be offered an MD role which she is going to turn down as the package is substantially less than what she is earning now.

Is substantially less enough to give your family a good life?

Sometimes people just see a drop in wages and think 'no', but if they sit down and look at the whole picture you can be better off with less cash.

FBaby

It sounds like this issue is only a syndrome of deeper issues. Could it be that you are struggling in your role as what seems to be single dad at home and the toys are adding to your feelings?

jamiefly

FBaby wrote: »

It sounds like this issue is only a syndrome of deeper issues. Could it be that you are struggling in your role as what seems to be single dad at home and the toys are adding to your feelings?

No. I am coping very well, I take him for long walks and do things with him and use facilities such as surestart. I am very involved thank you.

Panda78

jamiefly wrote: »

She has been looking for a UK based role and is about to be offered an MD role which she is going to turn down as the package is substantially less than what she is earning now.

She is making the effort then, but could you cope on less money, even substantially less? It might be worth it if for the family time together. It's amazing how much you can save on when you really want to and sorry to be judgemental, but if you can afford so much on toys, then you probably can make a few cut backs in order to take a less well paid job. Surely an MD's job must still provide a decent living wage?

tea_lover

What's happened to your daughter?? She hasn't been mentioned since the first post.

Person_one

jamiefly wrote: »

It's dangerous too, last year my boy broke his collar bone falling diwn the stairs as there's so much carp.

You can't blame that on the amount of toys. You need to keep the stairs clear regardless of how many there are!

sulkisu

The toys are not the problem, they are a symptom of the problem. You can only resolve it by getting to the route of that problem.
From the little that I have read, your wife seems to have security/money issues - would rather work abroad, than work at home for less, and possibly even mother/parenting/relationship issues (e.g. she prefers the current situation of distance parenting and a long distance marriage). She doesn't appear to be listening to your concerns - another indication of marital problems.
You know here better than anyone, so only you know what the real issue is.