Weddings - evening invite

thorsoak

Here is Debretts' advice on the etiquette of wedding invitations :- http://www.debretts.com/weddings/engagements-and-invitations/invitations.aspx

deva

I'm really surprised by people feeling its rude not to get an invite to a meal; being invited to share any part of the day is nice.

Even more so that this is a money saving site as inviting tonnes of people foe a formal meal isn't affordable to many and can lead to debt. A couple of weddings I've been too, those of us not going to the meal, organised our own meal together and then returned for evening do.

If I'm in area of ceremony I will us usually turn up foe exit if not ceremony itself.

This whole things reminds me why we chose unweddingy invites and had 4 pm service followed by party as soon as people hear wedding all sorts of connotations appears which IMO limit fun/magic of the day

pukkamum

I did it at my wedding, we were on a very very tight budget and I made it clear that the meal was for family only but friends were very welcome at the ceremony and then the reception.
Nobody as far as I know took offence, after the service they went for a meal and a few drinks then came to the reception.
I even had some of my friends parents and women from my weightwatchers class just turn up at the registry office to see me go in and come out and wish me luck, it was lovely.

Cotta

pukkamum wrote: »

I did it at my wedding, we were on a very very tight budget and I made it clear that the meal was for family only but friends were very welcome at the ceremony and then the reception.
Nobody as far as I know took offence, after the service they went for a meal and a few drinks then came to the reception.
I even had some of my friends parents and women from my weightwatchers class just turn up at the registry office to see me go in and come out and wish me luck, it was lovely.

I think it's poor form, regardless of your budget.

Person_one

deva wrote: »

I'm really surprised by people feeling its rude not to get an invite to a meal; being invited to share any part of the day is nice.

Nobody thinks its rude to just invite people to the evening do, that's perfectly normal and fine. Its fine to let people know when the ceremony is in case they fancy stopping by.

Its formally inviting people to two out of the three but not the bit in the middle that's a problem.

notanewuser

Person_one wrote: »

If its a church wedding, there's no such thing as 'not welcome'.

Civil ceremonies can't be private either.

Person_one

notanewuser wrote: »

Civil ceremonies can't be private either.

No, but they are generally harder to just 'sneak in at the back'!

thorsoak

Cotta wrote: »

I think it's poor form, regardless of your budget.

I think your comment/judgement is very bad form to the point of rudeness!

Cotta

thorsoak wrote: »

I think your comment/judgement is very bad form to the point of rudeness!

So we're even then, I'm sure the person whom I directed it to can handle it.

supersaver2

Person_one wrote: »

If its a church wedding, there's no such thing as 'not welcome'.

I can't imagine you would be made to feel 'welcome' if you went to a wedding (in a church or otherwise) if you hadn't been invited. If seats were limited as they often are and you invited yourself this may mean an 'invited guest' such as close family or friends wouldn't get a seat! Can't see you being Mr/Mrs Popular in that situation! So it may be correct that everyone who wants to attend can, doesn't mean you should.