Weddding Invite without Daughters name

PolishBigSpender

donnalou wrote: »

Yes I think that is the problem I feel deeply offended because I expected to be invited, I would never go away without my daughter, I always put my daughter first that is why I won't be going to the wedding

This is your choice though, not the couple's. Maybe your husband could take time off work, stay home and look after the child? Surely you can leave your daughter with the father??

kazzah60

hubby and I got married 31 years ago- when weddings weren't the "massive" occasion they seem to be these days

we had no children rule- only my 5 and 7 year old nieces who were bridesmaids - the main reason for this was that hubby was firefighter and we HAD to invite all 14 other chaps off his shift- and most of them had two or more children - and we simply could NOT afford to feed them all - my father was self employed in a very small business and fell ill 4 months before the wedding - so the financial help we had hoped for ( it was traditional those days for the brides parents to pay!) was not available.
Sadly my dad died 6 weeks before the wedding - and I think this helped soothe any "fevered" brows over the no kids rule - as everyone realised just how tight the budget was. It was a great day, friends and family rallied round and helped us out with dressmaking, catering etc and it was a lovely "family" feeling - some friends who had children brought them to the church to see us get married and then had granny or someone else to take them home whilst mum and dad came to the reception.
I think WAY too much emphasis is placed on the WEDDING these days and people forget it is the start of a MARRIAGE between two people and not just an excuse for a party

donnalou

melanzana wrote: »

Daddy, FGS take the day off, enjoy the day with your precious daughter, and then Mummy can go to the wedding knowing her precious little daughter is also enjoying a lovely day having Daddy all to herself.

It's that simple really.

And TBH if Daddy feels he cannot take the day off, or for some reason he knows his work won't allow it, then for once, and once only I would say to Daddy, "that is an awful tummy bug you have, you can't possibly go to work and spread it around".

But I get the feeling that Mummy is very annoyed. And Daddy minding the little girl is just not the compromise she wants. So don't go to the wedding then, and have a big sulk instead. You are the only loser, because the Bride and Groom won't give a rats really!

Edit to add ...... I know it's a three day event with all the travel and distance etc. but my above points still stand. Daddy, take three days off!

I have never heard of a more ridiculous solution. As I've said in previous posts I always put my daughters interests first so I would never leave her for 3 days.I would miss her and my husband too much just like they would miss me. Plus the expensive of me going away for 3 days, I couldn't justify it, I would rather go on a family holiday for the same money as we originally intended to do.

Keeping_Positive

Stop whinging, yes it would be nice to have had a family break but so would a few days on your own not being a full time mum. Dad gets some one on one time. Little one will be fine and will only fuss if you and dad do. If you don't want to go then fine. Its their day.

krustylouise

Keeping_Positive wrote: »

Stop whinging, yes it would be nice to have had a family break but so would a few days on your own not being a full time mum. Dad gets some one on one time. Little one will be fine and will only fuss if you and dad do. If you don't want to go then fine. Its their day.

Sorry to butt in, but how rude are you??? Do you have kids??? I'm guessing not by the unsympathetic way you're attacking the OP! Your post wasn't at all helpful, just downright offensive!!!

Donnalou - I completely understand, money is tight and times are hard, I'm right there with you on that! I would say use your OH's precious annual leave, and your hard earned money spending valuable time with your LO and OH. That would be better than spending all that money and time on a wedding your LO isn't invited to, and you'd be alone wishing you were with your family!

x

warehouse

justanopinion wrote: »

Yes, I am a tad bitter. Yes, people may decline to come. That's their right. But on what is meant to be the greatest day of your life, just for once, I don't want it to be about someone else's child. I want it to be about me and OH.

Great post, completely agree.

quidsy

Op said they were really looking forwards to the weddingkso presumably the distance, cost oh being at work etc wasn't a factor until child wasn't invited so I don't really see hos them using the argument of spending time as a family, distance and costtetc is really a valid one.
.
Op got an invite, either accept the conditions or send a sorry I am unable to attend card.

krustylouise

I was saying the OP should decline, and enjoy time with her family, instead of going and wishing she were somewhere else. But there's no need for people on here to be so rude about it. Admittedly this thread has gone on for long enough, but still!

sulkisu

donnalou wrote: »

I have never heard of a more ridiculous solution. As I've said in previous posts I always put my daughters interests first so I would never leave her for 3 days.I would miss her and my husband too much just like they would miss me. Plus the expensive of me going away for 3 days, I couldn't justify it, I would rather go on a family holiday for the same money as we originally intended to do.

Oh dear! It sounded pretty reasonable to me.
I always put my sons interests first, but that doesn't mean that they can't spend a few days alone with their father.

Poppy9

krustylouise wrote: »

Sorry to butt in, but how rude are you??? Do you have kids??? I'm guessing not by the unsympathetic way you're attacking the OP! Your post wasn't at all helpful, just downright offensive!!!

Donnalou - I completely understand, money is tight and times are hard, I'm right there with you on that! I would say use your OH's precious annual leave, and your hard earned money spending valuable time with your LO and OH. That would be better than spending all that money and time on a wedding your LO isn't invited to, and you'd be alone wishing you were with your family!

x

Oh lets bring out the "if you were a parent you would understand" line!

Well I'm a mum and I would have loved 3 days alone when DD was a toddler! 3 nights of undisturbed sleep (from OH snoring:D), 3 days of not having to worry about feeding the family, 3 days/night just pleasing myself! Never happened though as I didn't have childcare. Instead I had 3 months of OH working away.

Lets face it though the OP is being precious about her DD not being invited. It's not her wedding, she's just an invited guest and the invite is specific to her and OH. She should be pleased the couple invited her instead of complaining she can't take DD. All parents routinely put their children first but it doesn't mean you can't be an individual and please yourself.