Weddding Invite without Daughters name

FBaby

I am a mum who have always brought my kids to be independant. I've always worked full-time and they were at nursery before they were one year old, so used to not see them for hours...yet the day I had to rush to a family emergency, leaving suddenly to get on a long train journey, not even saying good bye to them (they were 3yo and 9 months old), I was totally devastated and cried the entire way. The pain I felt at being separated from them was above anything I could have imagined. Of course, they were absolutely fine and it became easier afterwards, but I can understand OP feeling she couldn't be away from her daughter for two days.

However, I don't understand why she feels this should warrant her being able to bring her daughter to a wedding she has not been invited to, and find it offensive that she couldn't get her way. You can't leave your daughter, fine, but that's you with that problem, not the couple getting married.

floss2

krustylouise wrote: »

There is a difference between spending a night away and spending 3 nights, 350miles away!

What if your OH was told to work away for 3 months - would they refuse to go because they couldn't leave their children?

poet123 wrote: »

No one is ridiculing you, some of us are just surprised that you seem shocked by the idea of leaving your 6 year old with close family for a short period. My children all slept over at my mothers from being about 6 months old, or could be left with my husband from birth. I just find it strange that you seem to be so inseparable.

I totally agree - my kids were left overnight with both sets of grandparents from being months old, their dad & I went to Paris for a long weekend when they were 4 & 2, it hasn't harmed them in anyway as they both grew up into independent well adjusted adults of whom I am very proud.

OP, why can't you take a family holiday at this time?

duchy

I'm another who can't understand why you are so offended.
However I can see why your attitude might offend the bride and groom. They invited two specific adults - you then wanted to change the invite to another person .....and if they did so would leave them with other family and friends annoyed that THEIR children couldn't attend . Why would you want to put family members in such a difficult position or risk bad feeling towards them on "the happiest day of their life" ?

This wedding was never "a family affair" as your husband is working and apparently never planned to go anyway. As I asked earlier -if it is so important to you to attend why not get Dad to take time off - book into somewhere the three of you and Dad and child can have some quality one on one time together - zoo for example whilst you go to the wedding and catch up with your family. If you want to show your daughter off to them odds are you could do it the day before or the day after the wedding.

If Dad can't/won't take time off-(and you have no daytime childcare and no-one local to the wedding can help (presumably some family are local and also have kids) then decline . When you have kids sometimes you need to put them first .......but there is no obligation for anyone else to be obliged to - family or not. The bride and groom invited you - either make it work within the limitations of the invite - or decline but feeling "deeply offended" is not appropriate .