Weddding Invite without Daughters name

ostrichnomore_2

'Yes I think that is the problem I feel deeply offended because I expected to be invited, I would never go away without my daughter, I always put my daughter first that is why I won't be going to the wedding'

That's fine, and in having a child-free wedding (it IS, the attendants don't count in the same way) they knew their choice would mean probably some people will have to decline the invitation. It's right that they still invited you and your DH - wouldn't you have been horribly offended if they'd just assumed you wouldn't want to come without your child so didn't invite you at all? They have their choice as to whether to invite children or not. You have your choice whether to accept or decline the invitation. I think you are being unreasonable in being offended at their choice.

MrsHappy85

I had a child free wedding too, apart from children that were playing a role in the wedding that is. I couldnt think of anything worse than children running riot at the evening do (im not saying your dd would, but I have seen this at other weddings Ive been too and it really put me off)

I dont think you should push the issue further, I think its quite bad manners to ask if your daughter can go given that her name clearly wasnt on the invite.

If you are really keen to go, couldnt you ask your hubby to take a days holiday so he can stay at home and look after dd so you can attend the wedding.

74jax

spacey2012 wrote: »

Once upon a time, weddings were about "families"
Not spending the day kidding yourselves you are some kind of celebrity that everyone needs to awe at.

That's right 'once upon a time' beacuase we chose to have very close family and more friends at our wedding doesn't make us kid our selves were 'celebrity', just that we had at our wedding those we speak to weekly, and are a constant in our lives.

Everyone has the right when paying for a wedding to chose their guest list, I could count on one hand my family members, but our day was about those important to us.

tiger_eyes

donnalou wrote: »

Yes I think that is the problem I feel deeply offended because I expected to be invited, I would never go away without my daughter, I always put my daughter first that is why I won't be going to the wedding

I think it's totally inappropriate to not only expect an invitation to someone else's wedding, but demand that the invitation come in your required form, ie. including your daughter, then get "deeply offended" when your niece fails to comply.

quidsy

it's not about you or what you want, your neices has not ivited children, respect her choice on her wedding day. DO NOT just turn up with your child, that would be rude & disrespectful.

Respond with a thank you card & an apologie that due to oh working & having no childcare you will not be able to attend.

MrsMGtobe

74jax wrote: »

That's right 'once upon a time' beacuase we chose to have very close family and more friends at our wedding doesn't make us kid our selves were 'celebrity', just that we had at our wedding those we speak to weekly, and are a constant in our lives.

Everyone has the right when paying for a wedding to chose their guest list, I could count on one hand my family members, but our day was about those important to us.

I wanted to say that I fully agree with you, I really disagree with the comment made by spacey.

We are having a tiny wedding, simply because we want to emphasise family. It is about our immediate families joining and the start of our new family.

I am not inviting aunties and cousins; it is because our wedding is about our family and our marriage. Not about the billions of aunties and uncles who show up (with or without their offspring) once a year for a free meal.

Donnalou, it is up to your niece regardless of your opinion. I hate to come across as rude, but there is nothing else you can, or should do. You just need to decide if you want to go or not.

scmp

I really can't believe this thread... Get over yourself woman!!!!

Have you ever thought that maybe she knows you won't leave your child? Maybeshe doesn't really want you there because she rarely sees you and has invitedyou because her mum/dad said she HAS to?!

They are paying good money for a meal and I would be angry paying £50 sayfor 3 courses that a 2 year old (who i had not invited) is going to pick at,not like and their mother complain about it.

We have a person limit for the space we have at out reception and we cannotgo over that. I do not have children but my partner has a son. All of ourbrothers and sisters kids are invited and so are our cousin’s kids. 22 kids inall... I am not impressed that there will be so many BUT we are close with ourfamily and cousins who live near us. Because of this we decided to have a HogRoast so we didn't spend do much on kids portions (at £25 per head in a hotel...when was the last time you spend £25 for one meal for a child lol). Our friendswe have asked not to bring their children as we just don't have the space andthey understand thankfully because they are nice and understanding people ~ ifwe have people who cannot make it then their kids will be invited!

It is not your day, it is their day. That is not childish. That is not selfish.It is economics.

Back in the day when parents would pay for a wedding entirely then everybodywas invited in the family, unfortunately these days people have to pay for itmainly themselves and therefore THEY get to decide who and what they want.

Politely decline and explain that your husband is working and you are notready to arrange a sitter for your little girl but wish them well, and maybe invitethem to visit you three after their honeymoon so you can all spend timetogether as you would hardly see her on the wedding day anyway! If nearer thetime she has space or feels guilty then she can all ways give you a call andsay that you can bring your daughter.

I do not mean to sound harsh at all but with saving for our own wedding and avoidingfamily politics wedding planning can be stressful if you have to put the needsof each one of a 100 peoples demands first individually. You get to a point andsay…. Do you know what, stuff em!

Edit: On my mums side I have 9 aunts and uncles. They have 12 children, with 11 partners, and they have 18 children. Thats 50 people. Then there is my dads side, my other halfs two side as well... Inviting all of the kids is just way way to much for us!

krustylouise

Hi OP,

As a mother, I can see it from your point of view. I too would not go to a FAMILY wedding without DD, nor would any of my family expect me to do so, especially given that other children {also family} have been invited, whether part of the wedding or not, this is irrelevant.

If it were a friend who had invited me and requested no children, given that it is so far away, I would politely decline.

I do feel sorry for you, as you were looking forward to this wedding and it has now become such a sensitive subject.

I am getting married in October 2015 and there are 2 teens and 4 children {including DD}. These are all family, and I wouldn't dream of inviting their parents without them!

frugs

We're planning our day at the moment and kiddies are a big problem! Our first draft of our guest list had 30 kids on it, and that is simply not realistic. My friends from school had 10 between 5 of them alone. Consequently, we've said immediate family kids (since they're our pageboys/flower girls) and god kids since the 2 sets of parents are both coming from Scotland to Wales and parents are bridesmaids/ushers so will need to stay a few days. Everyone else will have to be offended, but what can we do? I want a wedding, not to fund a children's tea party!!

floss2

I take it your husband doesn't get any annual leave then, that he could book so you could arrange a holiday around the event, or that he can look after your DD while you go?