Weddding Invite without Daughters name

donnalou

flea72 wrote: »

Planned for years, so before your LO was even a consideration?

Also i would say its an adult only wedding. A few bridesmaids are the exception and are prob older than your LO too, with expectations on their behaviour.

A line has to be drawn. Its easier to have a blanket ban, than annoy some of the guests. You seem affronted that your LO isnt invited, but how do you think all the other parents feel if you get to bring yours and they cant bring theirs. Your LO isnt a bridesmaid, so obviously your niece doesnt feel her inclusion in the day is that important to her, otherwise, she would have bent the rules

It was quite rude to ask if your LO could come. What an awful position to put someone in. Id be more annoyed at my OH for not getting time off work tbh, so that i could go alone, rathe than getting antsy with the bride

They have been planning the Wedding for years but have been engaged for 2.

One of the Bridesmaids is the same age as my daughter. The others with children are not relatives that have traveled miles, Maybe friends that live local so it is not the same.

I don't see how it is rude to ask if my daughter can come instead of my husband if it's not an adult only wedding. Even if my DH could get the time off work we would never go away without my daughter.

donnalou

MrsMGtobe wrote: »

I have to agree with this. Speaking as someone who is organising a very, tiny, wedding and having dealt with some awful comments about our wedding, I think it's really bad etiquette for you to push the issue.

I understand that you want to take your LO, but this is your nieces (and her partners) wedding; it is for them to invite whoever they would like to, regardless of their reasoning, it's their choice. You either have to accept it, or politely decline your attendance.

Taking your LO anyway, or asking your niece about taking your LO, is just bad etiquette.

This is a very big wedding and I understand that you can never please everyone, I wouldn't have taken my daughter without asking and I only asked because I thought that it was mistake that her name had been left off the invite.

They have also invited my brother but not his partner and they have been living together for 3 years, I also thought this was an oversight but now I'm thinking maybe it wasn't

Stephb1986_2

We are having a child free wedding also apart from h2b's 2 nieces and nephew who are 13, 12 and 8 the two girls are bridesmaids. They are the only kids that will be attending as they are close family. Everyone else who has been invited who have kids have made other arrangements and are looking forward to having a day off from the kids.

It's not that we don't like other peoples kids it's just not what we want for our day. When we wrote our invites we put Dave & Betty or what ever so no one was under the illusion that their kids were invited.

Please don't be offended some people just want a child free wedding (close family kids don't count)

Steph x

74jax

We also just invited who we wanted, some we invited their kids and others we didn't.

I wouldn't be offended, I really don't think they would have set out to offend anyone. It's really hard when planning a wedding to invite just who you want.

I invited some friends, but not partners (as I'd never met them) they all came as a group of friends and it was fine. But I would have understood the same if they chose not to come as their partners weren't invited. Remember its just an invitation, you can say no.

I think maybe the problem is that you 'expected' an invitation. A wedding is a magical day and to be invited to share it is an absolute pleasure, but not a right.

I agree with the reply whereby you say your daughter can't wait to see what she looks like and to send a photo.

My hubby once went to his friends wedding abroad without me and had a holiday whilst there, and I know many people where only one partner goes, so if you partner can look after DD and you want to go I can't see a reason why you wouldn't jump at the chance.

Own_My_Own

My sister had a no child wedding. My dd aged 2 was a bridesmaid. I found out the week before the wedding that we weren't invited to the wedding breakfast because it wouldn't be fair on the other people there who had children.
I wasn't overly impressed that I couldn't go to meal, but I didn't say anything. We just came home, got changed and carried on with our day.

It was her day and her choice.

donnalou

74jax wrote: »

We also just invited who we wanted, some we invited their kids and others we didn't.

I wouldn't be offended, I really don't think they would have set out to offend anyone. It's really hard when planning a wedding to invite just who you want.

I invited some friends, but not partners (as I'd never met them) they all came as a group of friends and it was fine. But I would have understood the same if they chose not to come as their partners weren't invited. Remember its just an invitation, you can say no.

I think maybe the problem is that you 'expected' an invitation. A wedding is a magical day and to be invited to share it is an absolute pleasure, but not a right.

I agree with the reply whereby you say your daughter can't wait to see what she looks like and to send a photo.

My hubby once went to his friends wedding abroad without me and had a holiday whilst there, and I know many people where only one partner goes, so if you partner can look after DD and you want to go I can't see a reason why you wouldn't jump at the chance.

Yes I think that is the problem I feel deeply offended because I expected to be invited, I would never go away without my daughter, I always put my daughter first that is why I won't be going to the wedding

poet123

I think it is bad form to ask to substitute a child for your OH. A lot of couples want a child free wedding apart from specific children who have a role.

I am going to a wedding in a couple of months and just last week the mother of the bride was having this headache. Her daughters bf has known all along that it is adult only and yet she has now said that as her parents and in laws are invited she will need bring her baby or she can't come. This is going to cause problems because there are parents with small children and babies in the family who have accepted the no child rule. The bride is really upset, her mother is telling her to stand firm or it will have repercussions....

Guests are guests and they should go with the wishes of the couple or not attend.

donnalou

poet123 wrote: »

I think it is bad form to ask to substitute a child for your OH. A lot of couples want a child free wedding apart from specific children who have a role.

I think it would be as well but it's not a child free wedding if it was I wouldn't dream of asking.

Slightly_Squiffy

I feel sorry for your poor niece. There is so much stress involved with a wedding and for you to be questioning things and asking for exceptions to be made will only increase that stress. Poster above wrote a good example letter, I'd go with that!

poet123

donnalou wrote: »

I think it would be as well but it's not a child free wedding if it was I wouldn't dream of asking.

Having children as attendants is not the same thing. If no other guests are bringing children it is child free.